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BM that tries to everything you do, including getting pregnant

MEL1297's picture

I'm feeling like I need to vent!!

What is everyone's best advice for a BM that tries to copy every portion of your life??

This woman is LEGIT crazy. Me and DH (her ex husband) got married, she gets married one year later, same style wedding and venue ON THE SAME DAY! Honeymooned at the same location as us...

Now, we just announced our pregnancy Smile (my first baby!) and guess who is trying to conceive now? Skid is on facebook and we are all friends with him so we can see the crap she writes. She commented on his happy new year post by saying "Happy new year babyyyyy! I'm so excited for what 2014 has to bring, hopefully +1 for our little family!" I couldnt believe it when I read it, but shes "liking" all baby and maternity pages on FB. I mean, who puts they are trying for a baby on blast on FB? Obviously for attention...Mind you, she told DH she's "not able to have any more kids" and pushing 40, no job, no health ins im sure.

How do I deal with this psycho??? I try to ignore but she really gets on my last nerves with this bull**** that she is doing on purpose

kathc's picture

This is going to sound un-helpful but I've been in the game longer than it sounds like you have and I've learned it's the only way to go:

Ignore her.

Just ignore her. Don't let her take up space in your head. Give a brief thought to how pathetic she is that she wants to be so much like you she does such ridiculous things and then move on. Evict her from your head, stop letting her take up any of your time thinking about her. She's not worth it.

MdMom's picture

I agree... The BM I deal with is the same way... I was pregnant when FDH and I started dating... We never told her my DD isn't FDH's so she goes and gets preggers right away. We were in the market to buy a house last year, she has to buy a house. When we told her we were pregnant again (#2 for me) she wants another baby... Honestly ignoring her is the best way to go.

You can't constantly try to one up her... I mean thats what shesdoing, unless you wanna be at constant battle between who does it first, or better... Personally, not the way I'd wanna live my life

MEL1297's picture

Thank you all. I think I just needed to hear that from those with better experience than me...

It's just frustrating, I just want to live life with my husband, plan a family, do things normal couples do with out a psycho in the picture. I realize that will never be the case with a crazy and jealous BM.

Disneyfan's picture

Block her then you won't be able to see anything she writes. Plenty of women have children past the age of 40.

If her husbands makes enough to support her and their new baby, then she doesn't have to work. She may have insurance through her husband's job.

Ignore her. You can't be annoyed if you don't know what she's doing.

MEL1297's picture

Sorry to sound tactless with the over 40 remark, or if I offended anyone. Her husband doesn't work either and they live off of child support.

But yes, I just need to stop knowing these things. It's just easy to know when skids are a part of my life so she has to be as well.

JAMS2011's picture

Completely ignore what going on. I've been dealing with this for 3 years. Block her on facebook. Be nice to her when you see her. Learn the phrase "that is wonderful" and say it if you ever have something ugly to say. Also remember that you know you're awesome and she clearly knows your awesome and if she was going to try to be like somebody why not you?
Everytime I cut my hair (bangs, color, cut, est.) my step daughters mom does the same exact hair style a week later. When my husband and I got engaged she tried pushing her boyfriend to marry her. Then dumped him moved in with another guy and tried to get him to marry her. Then dumped him started dated a guy with kids...you get the picture. Then when we announced we were pregnant she started talking to people at work about how she wished she could have another baby. She even used the same name we said we were going to use lol. I just learned to let her copy me because her daughter sees her doing it and it just makes her look up to me more.

christinen's picture

Although I admit I was curious about things BM would post on fb, I did eventually have to delete her. It was just causing me way too much stress and drama that I did not need! I have no contact with her whatsoever and it is much easier that way! I know she does things just for attention (seems like all BMs do) but the less it works, the less she will do it! Don't give her the attention she is so desperate for.

MEL1297's picture

Thank you so much guys.:) does make me think, I wonder if the oldest skid (he's 11) is seeing this behavior and wondering what the heck is going on. It is totally sick that she would share her attempts of trying to conceive with her son, via a facebook post..I agree that just blocking her and making an attempt to have no clue about her life is the only way to deal with it. She obviously has issues that she's still not over and I'll never understand her crazy.

Just J's picture

Wow, how pathetic that so many of the BMs in our lives are like this, mine included! When DH and I got engaged, BM wasn't even dating anyone. I heard from BM's mother that she was crying about how she couldn't find love. Three months later, she dredges up some old high school flame and suddenly they're engaged too. They were supposed to get married a month after us, but ended up pushing their wedding back another 6 months. I came to find out years after DH and I had our daughter that BM tried to get pregnant at the same time as me, but couldn't. I guess Mother Nature doesn't always allow for revenge babies.

if anything, have pity on her that her own life is so unfulfilling that she has to try to keep up with her ex. It's pathetic and sad. I have an ex husband and couldn't care less what he's doing. She obviously cares way too much about the goings on of her ex and can't even make her own life decisions. And any guy who goes along with that is even more pathetic and sad.

MEL1297's picture

Lol @ revenge babies!...just so annoying you want to live your life and someone is obsessed with one upping you. And yes! Her spouse is even more pathetic. Doesn't anyone in her life see all this competitive crap she's doing? If my spouse was this obsessed with a past relationship I'd leave!!! So crazy that a lot of bms are like this.