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BM is just to Busy

libra2libra83's picture

So, last month we got notified that DCSS was going to look into the amount of child support that SO is paying BM, since recently BM got a full time job...shocking I know. We then received notification that due to BM's lack of response to paperwork, they were closing the case without changing anything. SO called them to find out what he could do. They told him that since BM was the one who notified them to the change, and instigated the hearing, that when the parent who instigated the hearing "drops" the case, i.e. does not turn in their paperwork, that they don't make any changes or go after either parent's job to find out about income. They did tell SO that he could ask that they look into changing the support amount, and if BM failed to turn in her paperwork that they would get her records from her job. SO asked them to look into it.

A couple of days ago, SO asked BM if she had completed her paperwork. According to her, she is just to busy now that she has a full time job to finish.

I find it funny that when she worked a part time job, she was to busy, and when she wen't to online college, she was to busy. When she got a BF, she was way to busy to worry about court paperwork. I seriously wonder how busy she could be. SO works full time, takes classes part time, and has his daughter 50% of the time, yet he can somehow manage to complete all of his obligations...on time.

She has 5 more days before DCSS starts to get aggressive. I can't wait Blum 3

Calypso1977's picture

they can be too busy and not do stuff because the courts never punish them. but god forbid a CS payment is missed!!

libra2libra83's picture

SO made significantly more than BM. She only worked 20 hours at most a week. Even at 50/50 CA still considers CS based on income. It is a lot lower since we have 50/50, but he still makes more.

ncgal1980's picture

My DH has his kids 50/50 and has to pay BM $500 a month anyway because he has a job (and income) and she sits at home all day, refusing to get a job. It SUCKS. Nice to know that our household income goes to such a good cause - BM sitting at home cultivating her fat ass all day, every day.

Calypso1977's picture

when we were looking at 50-50 last fall, fiance's CS would have only been reduced by $30 per week. its stupid! MA also bases CS off of the father's income, and the mother's income and expenses are pretty much irrelevant. in our case BM has little to no expenses becuase she lives with her parents (and always did, the divorce did not make her move back home).

libra2libra83's picture

The courts here just brush us off to DCSS. We tried to go through them in the first place for support issues, and the judge simply told SO that he would need to have all of this taken care of by DCSS. We figure we will wait for them to work on it, and if we don't get results we will advance it in the system. At least we look like we are trying.

step off already's picture

Omfg! Yes it's obvious who they favor. Dh tried to file for support since he hasn't worked since October, and he is ss's primary caregiver. Bm has him eowe. When the case workers sat them down they assumed bm was primary and asking for support even though they had the papers in front of them.

Dh. Corrected them. And they told dh that since the income she reported (and lied about) was lower than what he previously made, he may end up owing her - even though he hasn't worked all year and has nother child and is the primary care giver. Wtf!

They said they might have to impute him at ft mjnimim wage and take her measles reported 5 hours per week if work (even though we know she has another job).


No support was awarded and they told dh it probably wouldn't be in his best interest to pursue support. This hearing/ meeting was just to establish paternity - wtf, he is the father, he's asking for support, bm and him are non the birth certificate.

Yes. Clearly they favor the mom

libra2libra83's picture

What I find hilarious is that BM is planning a trip to see her family in FL for Xmas, and wants to take SD for most of winter break. SO and I have no problem with this, expect we asked that she not leave until the Sunday before Xmas so that we can celebrate with SD during the weekend. We even offered to let her stay longer if need be. She does not want to wait, claiming that the price of the tickets increase by hundreds of dollars (which is false).

She tells SO that if he is willing to pay the difference, she will change the dates. He told her that since she is too busy to complete her paperwork, and that he has been over paying for two months, she has already gotten the money to pay for the increase. We know he will never see that money again even if the courts lower his support.

Calypso1977's picture

under the CO, who is supposed to have her over hte break? If its yoru time, you simply dont produce her to her mother until sunday.

libra2libra83's picture

She gets her for Xmas Eve and Xmas this year, but she is planning on leaving on Friday of SO's weekend. The CO says she can take a two week vacation.

MEL1297's picture

I think we have the same BM lol. Her excuse for anything is "I'm too busy" "I'm taking care of 2 kids" "I WORK" She always emphasizes WORK haha.(she babysits her cousin's kid, how hard is that) "I don't have time" is another one...she just cant handle real responsibilities, thats the problem

Maybe it's a typical bm thing