BM called FDH Bawling this Morning
I guess FDH got a call from BM this morning where she was bawling. Apparently when she was dropping thier BD(7) off at school she got out of the car and then proceeded to climb into the front seat with her mom. She then told her mother that she has been having bad thoughts about her. When BM asked he what she was thinking FSD acted like she was holding an invisable knife and started to stab herself. When she was asked if she has these thoughts about her Dad, Unhappy, or her new hubby FSD replied with a no only you.
Now I can understand this freaking BM out. FDH and I have never delt with this type of behaior at our home with FSD which makes me wonder what is going on at her mom's house. Now another thing is that when FSD has done extreme things in the past at her mom's house her mom usually reacts with loads of hugs and attention. Do I think that she wants to stab her mother? No. I think that she only wants attention and has learned that if she is extreme enough with her mom she will get it.
Now what I don't understand is why did she call FDH bawling looking for comfort. Why not call her new husband? I know that if my BD said anything like that the first phone call that I would have made would have been to FDH. This just situation bugs me and I'm not sure why.
Any answers?
Oh and before I forget, FSD will be going into therapy. FDH has already made the appointment.
Well Her new hubby has told
Well Her new hubby has told FSD that he doesn't want her as daughter but I don't think that was why she called.
BM spent the first year of FDH's and I relationship stalking him, trying to break us up, and trying to get him back. It was only when FDH flat out told her to keep her feelings to herself that she finally stopped. She still had FSD ask FDH and I if we were planning on getting married about a month after that converstaion.
Four months after that she had an ex con that had just gotten out of prison move in to her home the same month that he got out. Four months after that they were married. I don't know if she was just trying beat FDH and I to the alter or if she hoped that once FDH knew that this guy was in prison if he'd leave me and go back to her for the sake of the kid's safety.
Yeah, I'd say she isn't over
Yeah, I'd say she isn't over your FDH. If it's about their kid she will always feel a connection to him and want to talk to him and him only about their child. Because he is the only one who "understands".
That's just CRAZY! Marrying a convict, I'd guess at least on some subconscious level she married that guy to beat DH to the punch and maybe even shock him into going back to her!
I feel that it's inapropriate
I feel that it's inapropriate for her to be calling FDH in regards to this crying. FDH has sent numerous emails in regards to calling only of it's an emergency i.e. like one of the kids is in the hospital. When she texted him before the call she told FDH it was an emergency, which I don't think it was. FSD didn't stab her. Her life was not in danger.
And regardless of whether her new hubby likes his new SD it's his responsibility to provide comfort to his wife not my FDH. She made th choice to marry that guy now she can deal with the consequences of her choices like most adults do.
I agree. Have you spoken to
I agree. Have you spoken to FDH? Does he agree with you? Will he set the boundary with her?
I just texted him and he told
I just texted him and he told me that he has been thinking the same thing and that he will be sending her an email tonight letting her know yet again how he wants contact to be between the two of them (this will be like the 5th or 6th time he has sent this email in the last year) and that it's not that he doesn't feel that the information that she provided him with this morning wasn't important but that he does not view that as an emergency and that she could have sent an email. I would also like for him to add something about the going to her husband the next time that she needs comforted because of something FSD has said to her and not FDH.
I completely agree. It's as
I completely agree. It's as if these crazy BMs feel they have run of the gamut access to our BFs/DHs just because they have a child (children) together. Psycho BM tried that once - I commented on that situation on the site before. How about this - DH could repeat this EXACT phrase when/if it happens again - IS THIS AN EMERGENCY? If she continues crying, he can ask again. IS THIS AN EMERGENCY? If it TRULY is and she needs to talk to him, she'll start talking about why she is calling. If he has to ask THREE TIMES, I can imagine it's just the waterworks. As soon as he gets a hint of "this isn't an emergency - I just like calling you because I can't get over you and need a life" - he should hang up on her. Text her immediately - Not an emergency. Please call on your husband or pastor for assistance!
What he needs to do is once
What he needs to do is once she texts it's an emergency he needs ask if one of the kids is in need of immediate medical attention or if they are in danger. When she responds with a no he needs to tell her to send an email. Now if she says yes and she or FDH calls and it ends up being a lie he needs to tell her to follow the communication requirements that he has reuested and hang up. After that he needs to send another email stating how contact needs be handled between the two of them that way he can document everytime she violates it. Here in our state once you have been told not to contact somebody in a certain way and you ignore their request and just do what you want, it's considered harrassment and is actually against state code. And just because she is the mother of his kids does not mean she above the law. She actually sent that as a reply to one of the many times he has had to resend the same email.
Oh-yeah, and not to mention
Oh-yeah, and not to mention that we actually have all of stalking documented via emails between FDH and the ex. She actually admitted up to sitting outside the house at 3 am. What an idiot. I think that with all the documentation that we have and the sheer fact that she can't seem to follow what FDH has requested, that FDH can call the police at this point and they can show up at BM's and let her know that what she's doing is considered harrassment and is punishable in a court of law.
I don't get why these DH keep
I don't get why these DH keep answering the flippin phones?! Let the damn voicemail pick it up. Stop responding to the texts!
Why can't they tell these BK's that if they don't leave a voicemail stating what they want then he won't call them back. And if she leaves a message, lying saying it's about the kids and when DH calls and the second he realizes it's not he should say "I'm hanging up." and then DO IT! Everytime!
These guys can't just keep complaining about BK's calling for nonsense and keep answering at the same time! ANY communication is an open door for more communication.
I don't think he should email bm about the inappropriate subject manner, if he has already told her before, she knows! She just isn't listening cause she doesn't have too!
Sorry, just venting
^^^^ YES^^^ you're totally
^^^^ YES^^^ you're totally right cwfl!! Don't answer the dang phone! If it truly is an emergency she will leave vm and say "omg SD is in the hospital..." then he can call back. She has a HUSBAND-- cry on his shoulder!!! Even If he doesn't feel comfortable asking to her own DH for some reason, thats not your DHs problem! They are NO LONGER TOGETHER!! And by him answering every text/ call he is just teaching her that he WILL answer, not that he won't put up with it- which is what he SHOULD be teaching her!
Some of these BMs are worse
Some of these BMs are worse that telemarketers.