BM broke into my house, I am still in shock
Dear all,
last Saturday, BM called me in the morning because she could not reach my DH. I was driving, and asked her to call me back later.
I went shopping and after that my DH told me that she wanted to talked to him and was coming to our house at 2PM.
I said "no way", not here with the kids (We have 3 kids 1/5/6, and one SD12), go and have a coffee somewhere else. He called her again and she said that she wanted to visit our home.
Where we live (condomio) we have a security guard, and when she arrived we said she should wait outside, we were going to meet her. But the guard let her in, she knocked and I thought it was my husband, who was outside, and she pushed me (I was carrying my baby) and entered without my permission. I said : "Please not this way", go and have a coffee, not here with the kids. She tried to pushed me again, and then sat down in my living room and said: " I will not leave".
After BM yelling and insulting us, I took my kids upstairs and locked the door of my room. BM was still shouting and asking me to come down.
Well I spent 20 minutes in my room, went down again and took my cell phone, called 911...security from my condo came but only as a witness, they did nothing else.
And finally my husband convinced her to leave (50 minutes later aprox). The police arrived, my husband let her go, and we went later to the police station to report this incident.
Now I am afraid this might happen again. My Dh travells a lot and I spend a lot of time alone with my kids.
Get a Huge Dog
And a restraining order. Plus, security cameras and signs:
(1) She trespassed
(1) She trespassed
(2) She put her hands on you "assault".
You need to push this to the limit, so she stays completely away from you. They have Victim Advocacy assistance, usually thru your Law Enforcement, which will cost nothing. You can file for a Protective Order against her, with the Police report you filed. I have worked with Victim Advocacy; I filed a Protective Order against DH and SD57, four years ago, after I filed a Police Report. I had DH moved to SD's house and wanted him to stay away from me, until they had enough of each other.
I had a similar incident happen with BM, 38 years ago. She came into my home, when DH was visiting me, 5 pm in the evening, before we got married. They were divorced and she followed him to my home, after he got off work. My two sons were home, after school, watching TV, and she burst into my home. After DH got her out of there, my request, and he had left immediately after her departure; I called Law Enforcement and had them pay a visit to her the next day. They warned her and DH to never come to my home again, without my permission. I set both of them straight; DH was furious, but haven't had the problem now for 38 years.
My DH and BM always lived a volatile live style, I have never lived this way. Therefore, my grown skids know nothing else, but drama. I won't tolerate any of it and they know it. Tomorrow, I won't hesitate to call Police and begin again, if they all don't behave.
You have to protect your children.
Trespassers will be shot,
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again
Did you press charges? What
Did you press charges? What did the police do at your home? What was the purpose of your visit to the police station (as opposed to just reporting to the police that came to your home)? I'm just a little confused about the sequence of events.
In any event, I would seek a restraining order, and I would immediately call the police if she came anywhere near you or your home. I would also go to security and let them know in no uncertain terms that they are not to allow BM onto the property. I'm not clear on whether you told BM she was to wait outside, or if you told that to security. If the latter, I would be raising a huge enough stink that they never did that again.
Did you ever find out what it was that she wanted to talk to your husband about that had to be done at your house? Is your husband completely supportive of you in this?
thanks for your reply,
thanks for your reply,
BM took her car and left when the police arrived, my DH let her go. We explained what had happened, and went later to report the incident. I pressed charges, and I got now a restraining order.
Fondest memory was when BM
Fondest memory was when BM came to pick up SD's when we lived in a cabin on our 65 acres in the country. Now.. we lived an hour from where she worked... which was an hour in the other direction from where she lived.. So.. this was a completely transparent bid to snoop. I mean, she NEVER drove the kids to us or drove to pick them up. Meeting halfway in her mind was 10 minute for her and 2 hours for us...lol.
So, she comes driving up and gets out of the car and announces she will go see the girl's loft rooms. Well, I forgot completely (really) that we had a fake wood snake on the back of the sofa. It was kind of realistic and even I would sometimes jump a bit when I saw it. But, I had NO idea how terrified BM was of snakes. Well, she takes two steps in and spies the snake and screams and runs out. I turn around and see the snake there and just pick it up and walk outside and try to tell her it's just fake as she is throwing her dog in the back of the car and burning rubber up our gravel road spraying dust.
So.. she never again darkened my door.. evil step mother in deed. She is convinced we did it on purpose, it was just a happy coincidence.
Of course she thought it was
Of course she thought it was on purpose! Obviously everyone only lives to either cater to or torture BM ESMOD!
Reminds me that I need to go
Reminds me that I need to go do a little practice at the gun range. BM would NEVER do that though. She has more guns than I do and understands the concept of "not in my home".
But SS when drunk and on a rage (lots of history there in his past) - no telling what he might do. but I am dead serious when I say I would not hesitate for a millisecond to shoot someone who was trying to harm me in my home. I remember watching TV pgrograms when I was only 6 or 7 and thinking "why did that stupid person with a gun let the bad guy come take it away from them? Shoot now."
Now believe me I DO NOT want to ever shoot anyone no matter how rotten they are. I have cameras out the wazoo on my property now that would warn me of someone approaching. Plus I live in a small town with an excellent police force that has almost no crime. A call for help would have someone there in about 5 minutes as the police station is only blocks away.
Use the law to your advantage. NEVER EVER EVER drop charges.
What a frightening experience!!
Especially since you had the baby with you!!
I would press charges against her for trespassing and would what the home owners association of the condo's to take action against the security company who basically did nothing but let this crazy woman violate your home! What use are they supposed to be?
Get a restraining order and get her banned from setting foot on your property - have her picture and vehical registration at your security check point.
thanks!!
all..Done!!
I'm a little bit confuse about the timeline.
If I am understanding correctly, you said she pushed her way in and then you went upstairs for 20 mintues while your DH talked to her. Then you called 911 and/or security and it took 50 minutes for the police to arrive. But DH got her to leave before the police arrived - why in the world did it take him 50 minutes to get her out of the house?
If you told the police your husband's ex was there and refusing to leave it should have taken them way less than 50 minutes to respond. Also, they should have taken the criminal report right then. You need to press charges.
Get a restraining order. Once she is served she can be arrested when she violates it. Have it written that not only can't she come around your house but she can't come around you either - no matter where you are.
Make sure you have a good security door and that all of your windows lock. If there is any chance your skid has given a key to BM, change the locks. Get a security camera for outside and an alarm system.
Have a strong word with the head of security. What is the point of paying for it if they will let anyone in?
She strong armed her way into
She strong armed her way into your home and shoved you with a baby in your arms... and you did't shoot her? Why not?
In my neck of the woods she would have been shot and the shooter would get an award from the DPS and mayor's office.
smh
I think you can tell which of
I think you can tell which of us have lived in Texas. Fifty years ago a drunk tried to break into my apartment. The police arrived right away, but my roommates and I had to go testify in court. I still remember the police officers at the court telling us we had the right to kill him once he stepped one inch into our home. Of course none os us had a gun. But they made it so clear that invading a home justified killin’.
Stepping onto the property in
Stepping onto the property in an agressive or threatening manner is cause enough to shoot. And never a warning shot. If someone enters your home, it's threatening your safety in your own home, as the invader, they're the ones that lose their rights in that case.
I had to look this up,
I had to look this up, because laws vary by state.
The [Illinois] State's Attorney says a person is justified in using force against another when it's self-defense of a person or self-defense of a dwelling. However, he added, "But it has to be reasonably believed that that force is necessary to prevent the imminent use of deadly force against them."
State law says when entry is made or attempted in a violent, riotous or tumultuous manner into your dwelling, a person is justified in the use of force if they reasonably believe that that force is necessary to prevent an assault or other violence against somebody in the dwelling. "You could have a situation where somebody sneaks in, so it's not in a riotous manner but because of the other factors, that deadly force that's used [could be] justified based on the other factors in the case - if there are weapons inside, if certain statements are made, a whole host of other factors that could be present," Milhiser explained.
Milhiser also explained that while the use of deadly force can be justified, that is not always the best idea. "If there's a situation where you can retreat, where you can call the police, where you can call the authorities, where you can get away, that often times is the best course of action," he said.
However, Milhiser says a person is not required by Illinois law to retreat. "They don't have a duty to retreat, and if they believe that there is the imminent threat of death or great bodily harm to them, they can use deadly force against that intruder even if they're not in their home," he said.
Milhiser says every case is very fact-specific. The size of the people involved, the time of day, the location are all factors that can come into play.
If BM tried to shove me out
If BM tried to shove me out of the way to illegally enter my home well, she would regret. She might be gigantic but I'm a bitch. If I was with my kids I would brat the shit out of BM. She would never even look at me again.