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Birth request from SK

ajl's picture

hey Everyone!

 

Sorry I’ve been MIA but I so enjoyed this forum with my last question. So my current question about a birthday present SS13 asked for. 

 

He asks for very expensive things (fine I get it) which DH usually spreads among family and gets it done without hurting us so much. This newest request for this upcoming birthday? A powerwheels! Yes, a child’s powerwheels.

 

Mind you, DS4 and DD2 each have one. I got them at yard sales for 25 dollars each (truth). Now this 13 yr old wants one that he is too big for and is insisting on a brand new one. He is too big for even the little kid ones clearly. He exheeds the weight limit. 

DH has bought him a new bike and rollerblades he asked for with all of the protective gear that he asked for. He never uses them, but now wants a little kids’ powerwheels, new?

Sorry but I’m at a loss. I wouldn’t buy them new for our own babies and found them at yard sales. I told DH to tell him these things are for little kids but DH said SK13 said he really wants to ride one with our kids. I told DH he’s being over indulgent and guilt parenting.

 

i just think this I ridiculous but I am doing my best to pick my battles. Am I wrong here?! 

 

I dont have enough time to go to yard sales in the next week to find one btw, or else I would do it despite him complaining about a new one. 

tog redux's picture

Seems stupid. He will break it the first day because he's too heavy and that will be that. But I'm guessing DH will get it for him anyway.

sunshinex's picture

You're not wrong. 

We're buying our son a ride-on car this summer. He's almost 2 and I always said I wanted one for my future kids (I wanted one so badly when I was little but never got one) and when we were talking about it, SD asked for one too. She's 7. We both immediately said SD you're way too old for that. So she said "well what do I get?" and we said nothing. We're making a purchase for him and that's it, just like when we make a purchase for you and that's it. Things even out in the end. 

 

sunshinex's picture

He's already got one as he's got a little tikes push bike so he wears a helmet in that Smile But yes, good point.

Also, I totally JUST realized powerwheels ARE ride-on cars... I had to google it to see what they were. I thought it was like something similar to roller blades but for younger kids. I must say, a 13 year old would look absolutely friggin ridiculous in a ride-on car. Holy crap. That's so silly. 

OP, seriously, tell your husband to pull his head out of his ass and stop infantilizing his teenager - the kid is 3 years away from legally driving a real car. Jesus. 

MrsStepMom's picture

 Confession, I want one soooo bad. They came out right when I was beyond the age for them and I am still jealous. That being said, no, ridiculous. 

ndc's picture

We've gotten Powerwheels for the skids - we bought them used but had to buy a new battery for one of them.  Even used ones are pricy!  But these kids are 4 and 6 (younger when we bought them).  I would tell DH that it's not safe to buy a ride-on that SS already exceeds the weight limit for, and it's not very smart to buy a brand new one that he will inevitably trash because he's too big for it.  

Ultimately, though, if it's not your money or your kid, this is not a hill to die on and it's probably best to back down and let your DH be stupid.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

As a kid, I learned more from what I didn't get.

Sounds like skid is a bit jealous of what you've (economically) given your bios. That doesn't mean he automatically should get everything he wants. Maybe dad can take him go karting, or to a concert, or to some other age-appropriate activity for his birthday? Emphasize that Powerwheels are for babies, and skid gets to do cool things his younger siblings don't.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I was going to recommend taking him somewhere to go go-karting. Maybe even buy a season pass so he can go multiple times. The places around here have dual karts, too, so if he wants to race with his siblings, you and DH can drive them while SS drives himself.

If he really wants a Powerwheel, and your DH is willing to do a little digging, there are scooters, hoverboards, etc that are essentially the same thing for bigger kids. They won't be $25, but your DH may be able to find something that he can have other people contribute to (this is what we do with FIL - he wants to provide gifts but not have to think about it, so he tends to contribute to bigger items).

zea.momie's picture

My oldest bio is a young teen and he is trying to talk me into getting him one as well.  Only difference is he found some that are made for teens/ adult sizes.   I told him no just do to the price $150-275 depending on the style.   The one he wants is made for drifting/ spins.   

 

Could that be what he wants as well?

lieutenant_dad's picture

Agree that it's not totally weird. I think young teens who are too young to drive but too old for some of the "cooler" kid toys, like Powerwheels, really feel out of sorts about what it is they should and do.

Riding a bike isn't the same as a motorized vehicle. Neither is rollerblades or a skateboard. There is something cool about motorized transportation. If it wasn't cool, grown adulta wouldn't dump money into luxury cars, sports cars, restoring old cars, etc. Grown adults also wouldn't play on 4-wheelers or dirt bikes or dune buggies or boats.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I disagree.

Riding a bike when I was OP’s stepdemon’s age was the best thing, ever.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Let me rephrase:

Some to many young teens would like something motorized to ride on, be it a go-kart, golf cart, dirt bike, pocket bike, 4-Wheeler, etc.

Having been an avid rollerblader and torn through many a bike as a teen, I will say that 4-wheelers, go-karts, and golf carts were AWESOME, too, and an entirely different experience.

fourbrats's picture

was drooling over the NERF ride on (like a go-cart). So were my adult brothers lol! As it turns out they are all just slightly above the weight limit (and they are all over 6 foot). They would love to ride around in them shooting at the kids. DS has a "power wheel" dirt bike that ran until he was a young teen. It had a high weight limit and it lasted about 8 years. He loved that thing. This was before hoverboards and the like. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Ask him if he wants the bedtime of a little kid and the restricted privileges of a little kid, too?

Why the F should he get a new one after your DuH buying him a bike etc already?! 

 

sunshinex's picture

Ok since I just realized power wheels ARE ride-on cars... Like the one I'm getting my almost 2-year-old this summer... Take the teenager for a test drive in a real car. Really, my mom allowed me to drive 10km/an hour on a dirt road with her in the passenger seat around 14-15 years old so I was more prepared when I got my license at 16 years old. What the heck would a teenage boy want a ride-on car for lol 

shamds's picture

 a jeep that can hold 2 toddlers, mainly because they could entertain themselves and not follow me through the whole house. It costed about $600 new but hubby bargained it down and got our daughter a bicycle. 

If ss20 had demanded a toy car or bicycle because our kids got one, hubby would have said no because ss is addicted to computer games and not an outdoorsy person. He sleeps, eats and plays computer games..

parents buy things for kids as they see fit meaning they see those kids requiring these things because of their age and stage of their life but it doesn’t mean all kids get to demand something just because

ESMOD's picture

The weight limit for these vehicles is 130 lbs.  I would hazzard a guess that this kid is fast approaching or past that.   The suggested age range is 3-7 years.  So.. the short answer is that a 13 year old is literally too old for one.

I don't know your situation with where you live.. but a more realistic alternative (appropriateness) is a beginner 4-wheeler or gokart.  Of course, these are not inexpensive unless you can work on a fixer upper... and not realistic if you don't have land to ride on.

His dad should be shutting down this request because it is not reasonable.

shamds's picture

Literally seconds into pushing the accelerator pedal you will hear the motor burning out and just die because it can’t handle the weight. Does the dad need to waste money to learn this stupid lesson?? And op will be “i friggin told you so!!”

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Him wanting one is understandable but actally getting him one is stupid. DH needs to take him to the store and show him that he is too big for them. Not age wise but weight. DH needs to talk to him about getting something different.

STaround's picture

The kid is jealous, imho.  Which happens.  Heck some posters here are jealous.  Maybe the kid is jealous that he did not get stuff like that when he was that age.  It is OK to feel jealous, it is up to dad to teach him how to deal with it.  I think it is important to teach kids that there will also be someone richer, smarter, etc than them.  But then Dad has to make certain that things are as fair as he can manage.  Tough in blended families.  I have had to tell my mom to tone down gifts to my DD (and then if she wants discretely contribute to DDs college fund).  

ajl's picture

You are right! Like it’s not my fault his PArents didn’t make his childhood a priority but for my own kids I do and not to be a jerk, but I don’t see my job as a stepmom to make up for his. His mother gets a mortgage in child support monthly and spends it on her designer clothes. My kids shouldn’t have to sacrifice because SS13 didn’t gg whatever my kids get.

ajl's picture

Thanks everyone! I forgot to add to this nonsense that we also live on a farm and have 2 horses that are child friendly and my 2 yr old rides them. Not to mention bikes and powerwheels. So there are plenty of things to ride. I’m super annoyed hubs wants to spend money on a new powerwheels, but now I’m putting my put down. Our finances are tired but he’s a reasonable person so I think he’ll be on board.

bananaseedo's picture

Honestly- at his age and being you live on a farm-plenty of great room to get a 4-wheeler (or go-kart) but with a 4 -wheeler he can also help out with transporting things, chores, etc...I would encourage DH to look into something like that used instead.