Biological Mum with drug habit Stepmum picking up pieces
Hi there. I’m a stepmom to an 8y.o who’s Mum is a meth addict. She has been off the gear for almost a year now however the damage to her child has been done. Emotionally, socially and academically. My stepdaughters behavioural issues wear me down. It’s not directed at me and she’s generally a great kid given what she deals with. One week a routine and standard family life the next a week of chaos, sleepless nights and distraction. It’s really impacting on my relationship and I’m at boiling point. I love my partner but this is not making me happy and I’m tired of feeling selfish and guilty about my feelings. My partner is great but lately he is also at his wits end. Financially we cover everything. Tutoring, pschology appointments - just to help her at school and socially as she is 1.5 years behind kids her age. The bio Mum is constantly in our lives as her partner is in and out of prison. No life for a kid and I can’t stand it however have to bite my tongue so often it has permanent teeth marks. It’s making me regret my d3cision to take this all on and I feel as though I can’t do anyth8ng right for her with the little power I do have. She’s not my kid right?!?! So why is it me that baths her, buys her clothes, takes her to school when she feels like she doesn’t fit in, seeks out counselling, tutoring, talks to her about how to make friends, finds her swimming classes, calisthenics, reads books, does home work, packs lunch - all the normal things a real Mum would do yet I’m not the real Mum. I don’t want thanks but I don’t want the shit that comes with this life. I dread the weeks she is here and I hate that feeling. Advice is desperately sought if anyone has any. Thanks. Hard week.