Bfs teen daughters & his lack of discipline
I'm new here, I need to vent before I have a mental breakdown!
so just a little FYI on my story. I am 46 years old and he is 49 years old I've been with my boyfriend for six years now been living together for last two years. He has two teenage daughters 16 and 14, I have a 10 year old daughter. I waited four years into the relationship to move in together because his daughters were extremely jealous of me and it was very difficult to be around them during that time. He never knew how to handle it nor how to discipline his kids, he suffers from divorce quilt ( his ex wife is the one who asked for divorce). The last two years have been pure stress for me, I have a little OCD (undiagnosed) and I am a fairly anxious person. My boyfriend is extremely messy and although he has not been diagnosed I'm pretty sure he has a ADD. His older daughter also has those issues. He works 50 to 60 hours a week, I work between 30 to 35 hours a week so I am left with his kids most of the time.
I have been patient with him and with the kids I never punish them I never speak badly towards them and I've never been anything but helpful and supportive. We have spoken about this many times before and he always promises that things will change but they never do. I don't know how much more I can take, he is a very loving man but the lack of boundaries and discipline plus his extreme messiness is driving me crazy. Recently one of his daughters got Covid while at her mothers house and she somehow manipulated him into having her stay at our house which put my daughter at risk and he basically let her get away with it . I am just so fed up and I find myself being uncomfortable and upset most of the time when the kids are with us which is 50-50. I complain a lot about the messiness of the house and the fact that no one does anything to help. He doesn't usually want to hear it from me nor does he want me to tell him about the lack of discipline that he has with his children. I am just so fed up that I am considering leaving the relationship or moving back out with my daughter and if we can make it until the children have moved out then we can move in together again. Although he is not OK with that but at this point I feel like my mental health is suffering, I am now on high blood pressure medication and just started taking medication for anxiety.