Between a rock and a hard spot help ladies
This fri will start my dh's 2 weeks with the boys. Of course bm HAD to suggest that ss15 stay with her b/c of foot ball. Now here is the problem ss15 goes to school about an hour away and it will be very hard to get him to practice everyday plus I work nights. That means that dh said that he can stay with bm. I feel like I'm between a rock and hard spot b/c
1. I really don't want to take him plus it will cut into my sleep time.
2. I don't want my kids to take him b/c I don;t want to put them in a situation that bm can claim somehting that they might or might not have done.
3. I don't like the idea that dh is giving in to bm with letting him stay and feel he should figure somehting out so he won;t miss his 2 weeks with him.
Am I being difficult? I see why he did what he did but at the same time I also see that he needs to spend time with his kids. Help me ladies.
I know it is his choice
I know it is his choice however this is something that bm does EVERY year and it cuts into his visits. It is an on going thing. I understand why dh did what he did but at the same time I feel he should be working a little harder to make sure he gets all his kids for HIS time. Does that make sense?
the dates are set in stone.
the dates are set in stone. We have to follow the CO b/c if we don't bm will try to take days from dh like she already does but it cuts it down at least.
To answer the question about not wanting me or my kids to take him to practice, with bm's history of the things she has tried to do to my kids I will not put them in a situation where bm can try to get them arrested again. As for me I work nights! ss has to be there at 8am so I'd have to get up at 6:30 to get him there which means I would only get 3 hours sleep. While I am luck that dh thought of me only getting a few hours sleep if he asked me (yay) but then at the same time he is letting bm get her way again with her keeping one or all the kids. I just feel as though that she does what she can to keep one or all of them from dh during the summer.
No I am not saying that at
No I am not saying that at all. Why are you trying so hard to make this more difficult then it is??? Really? I said that I wish there was a way to figure this out instead of bm getting her way yet again! good grief!
It's not just foot ball I
It's not just foot ball I understand foot ball it's oh the boys have this or the boys have that and it is her excuse to keep them and dh lets her. Never mind apparently you ladies are not the understanding people I thought! you are not seeing my POV! I am just very frustrated that it is every freaking year! I know bm didn't make sure foot ball feel on dh's time. I figured it was up to dh to find a way to get him there. sorry MY BAD!
I don't think you ladies understand the situation either. Me and MY kids have been through HELL with this women so why would I pout my kids in a situation knowing that something might come of it???
I am frustrated that dh isn't trying to find a way to get him there and it is on going thing. But I know that my kids can't do it. I could try to get him there myself but dh never asked me.
Seriously would you put YOUR kids in that situation knowing that bm MIGHT try have your kid arrested again???
Thank you very much, I know
Thank you very much, I know it is up to dh. He made a decision and I have to live with it but I was frustrated and need to vent!
I talk to him about this he is trying but he also wants to let the boys do their stuff like foot ball. Heck I want then to do foot ball and sports too that is not a big deal. It is trying to figure out how we can manage everything is the problem. Of course this is an easy way to figure it out and i guess I just feel s though he is choosing the easy way. That is all.
I can understand why you
I can understand why you would be ticked that BM is once again able to keep SS with her when you should have him for the two weeks. She had your kids arrested, wth? I wouldn't volunteer them to take SS either if I were you, and you shouldn't have to get up so early after working all night. Make him take the bus!
We don't have a bus system
We don't have a bus system where we live. We live in a very small town and bm lives 3 towns away which is about an hour from us.
Anyway Bm TRIED to get them arrested didn't work but still. She also called dhs on me saying that my son should be locked up for his whole life and she will stop at nothing to make sure that is where he ends up. What brought that on you might ask??? CHILD SUPPORT! Yep Child support! Her fault btw. Dh was 1000 ahead in cs he switched jobs b/c he was promised all kids of stuff and they refused to take cs out of his check, so he told bm he would just pay it til he got it figured out she wouldn't miss a payment! Bm got it in her head that dh was 6 weeks behind and opened a case with CS office turns out that dh was 100 ahead (dh told her that and not to do anything that she would be screwing herself). Well of course they wouldn't take anything out of his check til he was caught up. What did bm do? She tried to get my son arrested saying he stole form her mom and then he beat up ss15. When that didn't work (meaning the police thought she was nuts) she called dhs and told ss15 (he was only 9 at that time) to tell me that my kids will be taken away and that my son should be locked up and she will stop at nothing til he put there. She is really nuts b/c that has nothing to do with CS! Dhs was pissed that they had to come out. It is a long story but that is why my kids will not be around her ever!
She sounds like a real
She sounds like a real psycho, capable of what my BM is and probably more. You are doing the right thing by wanting to keep your kids away from possible drama involving them.
Just out of curiosity, what
Just out of curiosity, what would be your sollution? It sounds like there's a few options being thrown around:
1. SS comes to stay with you and you take him to practice
2. SS comes to stay with you and does not go to practice
3. SS doesn't come to stay
What about DH? Can he take him to practice? that would give them even more time to bond. Plus, maybe Dh could stay and watch the practice and give him a little at-a-boy when he's done. Just a thought. Any other productive ideas?
Is this the only 2 weeks he is supposed to come? Or do you have more visitation throughout the year?