People here are very kind and have said I'm a great SM. I'm not great by any means lol. I simple have learned what my place is in the situation I have in regards to my skids, Everyones situation is going to be different and it takes time to learn just where you fit and where you stand with your skids. I was blessed with some amazing skids that cause very little trouble for me (just the normal kid stuff). I do have to deal with an instance BM though. When it comes to my SD I have learned that our relationship needs to be more like a big sister and little sister. Even though I'm like a big sister to SD she understands that she has to respect me like any other authority figure and when I say something needs to be done she does it. With SS11 I'm more like a teacher, and with SS9 I'm more like a baby sitter. It all depends on the skids' personality and how they respond to you as an authority figure. It took me 5 years to figure out how to demand respect while showing them love and support without stepping over my boundaries as a stepmom. I do not discipline the kids but instead enforce the rules that DH has put in place. I do have some discipline authority like no video games for 5 minutes or something and DH backs me on it. But when it comes to groundings for whole days or getting onto the skid for something really serious that they did that's DH's job. There is a balance that we must all learn and it's a very long and stressful road to learn it. But it's there.