I am really trying to not feel defeated and give up! Over a year ago my SD19 became an adult and decided she hated me. We tried to have family meetings to figure out what the problem was but we never got anywhere. SD19 only walked out in the middle of the conversations.

I don't understand what happened. We always seemed to get along fine. I never took on a discplinary role, never had an arguement with her, and never yelled at her for anything. I let her father handle everything! I actually use to tip toe around her and went out of my way to try to make her happy. It was like walking on egg shells.

Yes there were times that I gave him my opinion on situations to my DH, but that was in private and away from her. He still handle situations they way he felt even if I didn't agree with it but I just dealt with it. The only things she has said is she hates me, I don't have a backbone, she hates that he tells me everything, and I'm always in her business.

Now SD19 has become buddy buddy with my DH's second wife (her younger sisters' BM). She use to hate her also but for goos reason. She was very mean to SD19 and even cursed her out when she was very little. I believe she is connecting with her now to get back at her father. She tried to get my DH to live two separate lives. A life where only her and her sisters exist and a life where only my boys and I exist. She expected him to exclude my kids and I from anything that she is involved with. My kids are very hurt because they once thought she loved them and also don't understand why she wants to exclude them.

SD19 has been interacting more with BM for SD13 and SD10 (I'll call her BM2). SD19 has been making very damaging and untrue statements. She tells BM2 that I'm mean to SD13 and SD10, etc. SD10 has always had trouble adjusting between both households and use to tell her BM that she didn't want to go to dad's because she didn't like me. But as soon as we get to out house, she is connected to my hip and asks me for everything (do her hair, paint her nails, etc.) I can't go to the store real without her begging to go (even if I tell her I'm just getting eg. milk and her dad stays home). She finally stopped lying to her mom about how she felt about me but now everytime SD19 gets together with BM2, I become the target again.

BM2's older daughter posted something on Facebook about people talking about her and running their mouth. BM2 responded to her comment that shouldn't pay attention to what "my name" says. The problem is... I never said it! I know there was alot of arguing this weekend with SD13 and now I wonder if SD13 miss understood the arguments and told her Half Older Sister that I was saying mean things about her! I have tried very hard to never do that and didn't do it this time either!

I'm crushed because I'm afraid SD13 and SD10 are goig to turn against me like SD19 did! It eats at me when someone has a problem with me and I don't know why! I always try to treat people with respect and keep my mouth shut even when I want to say something. I try to stay away from drama but it keeps coming back to me. It's bad enough SD19 has told my DH that he will be invited if she gets married or has children but only him. It's bad enough that her cousins (his nieces) who use to talk to me, now act like I don't exist anymore. It bad enough that SD19 has convinced my Sister-in-law to also exclude me in her life. It breaks my heart that it may also happen with SD13 and SD10 :(. I feel like I'm the outcast when it comes to alot of his family. The only people who talk to me, is his mother (occassionally) and his oldest sister.

Should I just try to disappear when SD13 and SD10 come to visit? I don't know what else to do!