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Bed Problems

Reznov's picture

Submitted by Reznov on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 5:19pm

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I have a major problem with ss4 sleeping in our bed. I have made this clear to DH and I have tried to compromise with him on the issue because I know he enjoys his cuddle time with his son :sick: We just recently moved to a new place and I want to set the ground rule that ss is not to nap/sleep in our bed at all. Any ideas on how I can approach the topic gently and without being the evil stepmonster?

sonja's picture

Submitted by sonja on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 8:06pm

Oh yes.. nip this RIGHT AWAY! And new house=new rules is the BEST time! I flat out told FDH that 'we have sex in this bed!' and 'you are her dad!' I even compared it to BM sleeping in the bed with her BF and SD! THAT one worked!

We did it in stages.. SD was probably 2 at the time.. First toddler bed in our room right next to our bed.

We finally had another room after she turned 3 when we got a house, and it was into her own room then.

Even now at 4 its a pain in the ass to get her to stay in the room and in the bed without a tantrum.

People that cosleep have no idea what theyre doing to their kids!

She thinks that we need to go to bed when she does (BM does this). I refuse to let my FDH pretend hes going to sleep. SHE is a child and we go to bed when we want!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 11:57pm

If my DH chooses to share a bed with one of his daughters, it will be their tiny little twin bunkbed, not MY queen bed. MY own children, 12, 8, and 18 months sleep in their own beds. Why would I share my bed with a child? Plus I don't go to bed at 8, and that is the children's bedtime because experts recommend that little folks need an abundance of sleep, and they get up early.

AliceP's picture

Submitted by AliceP on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 12:30am

How often is the lil guy with you? full? hlf? cuz aw man i have the opposite response, I have a very clingy, scared lil SD that has been brainwashed/aliented against her father, and then they get dropped at our house for months on end without so much as a phone call from BM, she has come to ME in the night and I let her cuddle and then I slip out to the couch, when DH goes to work, he wakes me up and i go back in with SD and probaly 1 or both of my own, If you are weird about it, cut it out, it will only drive you and DH apart, I try to look at it from the childs perspective, she's got security issues and I just want her to know she has us (even though it's just me) to comfort her.

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 2:24pm

THAT is a definite no-no...

Considering DH and BM were never in a relationship, all SD knew was sleeping in the same bed with DH when he had visitation with her...

When he and I married, I cut that out immediately...It wasn't even the subject of conversation...I don't allow children in my bedroom...That's my safe haven away from the world. She cried the first few nights, but DH didn't relent, because she slept alone when she was at her mom's house...She got over it, and went the fock to sleep...

DS is allow to come and go as he's still a baby, but once he gets to a certain age, my bedroom will be off limits to him, too...UNLESS HE WANTS TO CLEAN IT...

Set boundaries...early and keep it consistent...