Bathroom remodeling with SD15 in n tow
Sd for SOME reason thinks EVERYONE cares what she thinks.
DH tok sd to run donde errands, they stop in and look at new vanity and countertops. He sends me the picture id what they pick out. I say "cute" knowing he wouldn't purchase without me. Dio when we go sd demands to go with us. She shows me what they picked. I kindly explain that the sliding door wouldn't work for us because when their younger siblings came they would pull the cabinet door right off (their destructive). Then i pick a vanity, she keeps pointing out other ones (as if to be the one who gets to pick out what gets installed into my bathroom, desperate to not let me pick what i end up with) then we go to pick it faucets, saaaame thing, shows me these big blocky handle ones with square shaped faucet..... no, i explained kindly that they were much to bulky and wouldn't fit in n the space on the countertop. i picked the ones i wanted, she kept trying to change DH's mind.
We were picking paint colors. I picked a color that would match the new tile in the tub and the new counter top perfectly and bring them together really well. She desperately kept picking colors that were either too yellow or too white. I had a gorgeous warm cream color (i swear it is beautiful). We get home and me and DH are painting. DH called her in and asked what she thought. She said "oh, that's the paint? I thought it was sil the primer" trying to hurt my feelings. Lol i laugh it off, but I'm just like, dang this girl is RUDE.
I never once called her out, I kept my cool the entire time. I mention (after DH dropped sd off at her mom's) to my dd 16 i think sd wasn't very happy that i picked the stuff for the bathroom. She laughed and said no she wasn't, that SHE wanted to pick everything out.
Sounds as if you have a
Sounds as if you have a vicious mini wife on your hands as well as a poisoner. At some point, you may have to stop being so nice and assert your authority as the Alpha female in your home.
Then i get guilt tripped into
Then i get guilt tripped into apologizing to her for "yelling "
https://www.steptalk.org/forum/general-discussion/dh-wanted-me-apologize...
Why can't you just say, "It's
Why can't you just say, "It's my choice, but thanks for your input." and repeat or ignore additional SD advice?
I truly try to be as nice as
I truly try to be as nice as possible because people think I'm mean to her. I go out if my way to be nice to her... she is a manipulator and turns my words around and acts as if i say things that i don't. This girl once told DH i was mad at her for having heart burn when i literally only said, "wow, it seems that you get heart burn pretty often". Meaning she might want to seea dr about it. So i really try to be nice and choose every word carefully with her, theat and limit my words i use with her.
That type of tippy-toeing
That type of tippy-toeing sounds exhausting. I feel for you. Try grey rocking?
And who are these "people" who think you are mean to her? If it's your DH, then there's a bigger issue at hand.
My family (although my
My family (although my parents are seeing through it More and More) , BM, DH, sometimes my kids (although they ate seeing through it the past year or so)
My SD can be like this,
My SD can be like this, literally had the same experience. We remodeled our bathroom in feb. We were picking out a vanity and she didn't like one of the ones I liked. She legit got mad at SO and I and I was like well SD when you have your own house you can do whatever you want.
Granted SD13 and I have a great relationship. She does get bossy and can be know it all.
You did well
I know the whole exercise was aggravating but i applaud you for explaining your sensible choices. Someplace in the back of her teenage mind, she will store that type of decision-making, buying things that work for younger family members, choosing fixtures that are proportionate, selecting colors to go with the existing things. You handled the situation in a mature manner and bottom line, she's only a kid and inexperienced (tho like all of them, thinks she knows everything). Congratulations.
I'm curious why SD thought
I'm curious why SD thought she had so much say over the process, unless your DH led her to believe that she had some say over it. If that's the case and he just stood there mute while you had to explain to a 15 year old about designing your own bathroom then he is your problem. The SD is just the catalyst.
I agree. DH should have put
I agree. DH should have put her in her place and let her know her opinion was not needed or wanted.
You describe my SD. She's 40.
You describe my SD. She's 40.
This is what i fear! I fear
This is what i fear! I fear SD forever emotionally being immature and thinking the world revolves around her. Ever since i came into her life when she was 5, she was emotionally delayed (IMO). At 5yo she acted how i would picture a 3yo. At the age of 10, she acted closer to a 5 yo. Now she's 15, but she still cries over everything. I mean if you don't agree with her, she cries kind of cries over everything.
I’m lucky if skids were rude and i tell them off to knock it off
Hubby instantly if there, support me and tell them to listen to me!!
i feel strongly hubby needs to take ownership for the failed parenting of his kids aged sd24.5, ss22 and sd14.5. When they are rude, being inappropriate in the car whilt hubby is driving and i tell then off firmly, hubby tells them to listen to ne. Warranted he gets a little distracted when driving and zones out because sd’s rant on non stop about bio mum and. Stepdad.
But when they have crossed a line and i have told them to knock it off and stop, i will not repeat myself continually!!! I will in the most drawn out low condescending tone say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!! And this is when hubby steps in and tells them to shut it!!
i have had sd’s trying to parent me on how i parent my kids.. late last yr hubby told off eldest sd she was not rhe parent and i was and she had continually along with her sister crossed so many lines and what i say goes!! There is no answering back as i am the mother raising my kids whilst hubby works so i am the authority and expert all things kids, hubby will always support 100% what i say or do because it works!!
Hubby basically told her i was the only alpha female and she has sulked 8 months plus now refusing to meet hubby... but i have well mannered kids, skids??? Meeehhhhh not at all well mannered!!!
when you are dealing with 2 miniwives, you need to nip that shit immediately.... i have refused to go on any trips with sd’s because i told hubby if we make an agreement the moment they disrespect me and cross that line bubby needs to drop them off at the train station to make their way home, t would be barely a minute and so i am not stupid to waste my time like that