Bad manners or am I overly sensitive?
Boyfriends son is 8 and gets served first always at the table. He chews with his mouth open and doesnt listen when being told to close his mouth while chewing and keeps chewing with his mouth open. He ignores his dad completely. If he eats all of certain thing he will ask for more without saying please and his dad will get up and make it for him even if he hasn't finished what else is on his plate. He will kneel up on his chair and take things without asking hovering over all of the food at the table, sometimes not using utensils. He has been told to say please and thank you several times but never does. When he's reminded to he says he doesnt have to say that. Why am I so taken aback by this childs table manners and lack of listening? HE also claimed to be sick with a sore stomach and headache then ate four plates of white rice very fast (didnt touch his veggies or fruit as usual) and said sshhh the tv is on while we were talking at the table with the tv very loud in the background. What should my boyfriend (his father) be doing differently and is there something defiant about this kid since he doesnt seem to listen and fakes sick and lies a lot to get out of school?
What you should be doing is
What you should be doing is dumping these barbarians.
THIS!!!
THIS!!!
His son sounds repulsive
His son sounds repulsive however his father is to blame for this. I don't know how you put up with it. Disgusting in so many ways. I would not want to eat there let alone live there.
Sounds like a growing 8 year
Sounds like a growing 8 year old boy to me...he needs to be TAUGHT to chew quietly and eat till he feels full, not to eat with his eyes. I feel your pain as my 17 year old ss does the same, eats till the pot is empty. No consideration if anyone else will eat or to save food for tomorrow. The 8 year old had time to learn
LOL....my SD57 jumps first in
LOL....my SD57 jumps first in line, eats like a ole' sow, back in line before everyone is seated....chews with you mouth open, is loud mouthed at the table, reaches in front of people and never says thank you. She was grown when I met DH, therefore, I am not responsible.
Don't give him what he wants
Don't give him what he wants until he says please. If he doesn't say thank you, remove the plate from in front of him and remind him to thank you, then give it back after he does.
Chewing with his mouth open, can honestly be on going... I hate to say it. We tend to start obnoxiously smacking and the kids in our family will stop, smile, and apologize.
Climbing over the tale, just firmly tell him to stop, sit down and politely request what ever it is he wants. If he doesn't remove his plate and tell him he is excused from the table tonight and hopefully tomorrow he can do better.
Turn the TV off for dinner. Correct him, firmly-do not raise your voice, if anything get quieter, but correct and then remove him from the situation. Time out, cold dinner, excusing him for the night. This kid will get it fast.
Your boyfriend should be a
Your boyfriend should be a PARENT. Since he refuses to parent his son, do not expect things to get better. Expect them to get worse. MUCH worse.
I honestly do not understand why you stay with this guy. There is no reason why YOU have to subject yourself to poor table manners. If you're going to stay with this guy, go to his place AFTER they eat.
I think she may like the
I think she may like the drama?
She's had multiple posts with the same answers.
Yet the questions continue...
Cover, you may be on to
Cover, you may be on to something...
^^ yep, yep ^^
Your SS8 needs to begin
Your SS8 needs to begin waiting on himself and there needs to be some house rules on manners. We had a house full of grown, teens, and little guys, when DH and I met.
We held many round table discussions on such matters, which included manners, household chores, schedules, etc.
Sounds like it is time for some of these meetings.
What should your failed
What should your failed waste of parental skin BF do differently?
Well for starters...
1. Buy a paddle and use it on this kid's butt on a regular basis when this kid does anything but exactly what he is told when he is told to do it. 8yo is plenty old enough to follow directions. No remedial training on this. He gets told, he complies, or the swat to the butt with the paddle occurs. Lather, rinse, repeat. He will figure it out in short order.
2. Buy a molded plastic table and one chair, stick it in an isolated corner, and serve meals to the kid at that table explaining that he eats what is on his plate and he will not join the adult table until he gets his attitude and chewing issues under control.
3. If there is no fever or blood ... he needs to drag his toxic spawn to school! No questions, no deviations, zero tolerance.
4. TURN OFF THE TV DURING MEAL TIME!!!!
I would start with these 4 things and add and adjust as events progress.
You asked.
He is his father's son and it
He is his father's son and it is his parents responsibility to teach him manners. Not his father's girlfriend.
If this happens in your home then you can make the rules. If this happens at his father's home then you have to accept this is the way this boy is allowed to behave.
I suspect this is in his father's home. Nothing is as sexy as a man who is at the beck and call of his 8 yr old son.
It seems to me a lot of boys
It seems to me a lot of boys clean up their own acts when they hit puberty and want to attract girls. I think he might grow out of the loud chewing. I can remember my mother screaming at my brother at every meal, "CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!!!!!" (Thanks for conjuring THAT pleasant memory for me!)
Your SS should sit at the dinner table with you, TV off, and learn how to be part of a family conversation - that means not interrupting or shushing people, talking about his day and hopefully absorbing the notion that inquiring about another person's day and mood is part of normal conversational give and take. (Have you noticed how no one under 30 seems to know to ask how you are? They're perpetual children.) Soft skills like this will help the kid mature faster, express himself better, and he'll be more employable!
It can be hard to endure a kid at the table (remember my brother?), but someone has to train the kid how to be civilized, take a role in the family, and use social skills to make his way in the world. It's the stuff kids don't learn today because families don't eat together and if they do, everyone's on their phones.
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