Back to school question- how do you present your family?
When you meet your child's teacher or skids' teacher, how do YOU present your family?
As a teacher, I'm amazed by how many parents come in at Open House and want to pull me aside and explain their situation, and bash the other parent!
Now, I keep my personal life seperate from my school life, so I never discuss with students' parents that I am a step mother. It's not their business. But sometimes I just want to ask them, "What are you thinking?"
And a pat on the back to us- I am always amazed at how many step moms and step dads that come in and really support their skids. As a professional, I can see that does make a difference to the skid and their attitude, behavior and success.
Personally, loghead and I always tried to meet with the my skids' teachers several days before school started, just to give the school the custody agreement and pertinant information. When the skids were little, Loca Grande would always visit and swoop in making a big deal about "mommy's here." I have PITA on the first day of 1st grade on video, rolling his eyes at his mother's dramatics... She can be very convincing. She would sign up for every committee and promise to volunteer. She lived 2 hours away. She'd drive up once a week- until about the end of September, and then the teachers never saw her again!
We did all work hard to present a united front when it came to school. From the time the oldest was in first grade, till the youngest finished 5th grade, Loghead, Loca Grande and I all attended Parent Conferences TOGETHER.
"Hello my name is "AXY", this
"Hello my name is "AXY", this is my wife "BXX" and our son "C(Last Name)"".
That is it. We don't explain anything. The differing last names between our son and his mom should be the only information that a teacher or school administrator need on this topic.
My wife and I have been to nearly every PTC and school activity together. None of the SpermClan have ever visited the kid much less been to a single PTC, school or extracurricular function. None of them bothered to attend his HS graduation this past may. My parents drove 1600 miles to attend and my ILs flew coast to coast to attend.
In their defence :sick: we have never lived nearer than 1500 miles to SpermLand.
BioDad has had a 10 day Sept/Oct visitation in the Skids area of residence since SS was a year old. The judgement clearly states that the kid can not miss school and that the NCP has to facilitate school and activity attendence during this visitation.
No one from the SpermClan has ever taken the Fall 10day visitation.
So, we don't have this issue because we don't over share on the situation with the school.
Best regards,
For SD13 we always planned to
For SD13 we always planned to go together but then H and I would arrive and BM would be calling as we were walking in the door with some excuse how she could not make it. We will see how it goes this year. SD is starting at a new school this year so I'm guessing she will show at least the first time or two out of curiosity regarding the new school & teachers. For SD4 we did all PTC's and school functions together as a parenting team if we can for her pre-school. As a matter of fact I just got a call from BM tonight telling me that next monday we have a meet and great with SD4's kindergarten teacher. I have a more flexible job so my H and I can always go to SD4's school activities, but once or twice BM couldn't attend due to her work schedule. It is very awesome and powerful, as Old Dart says, when teachers see that all four parents are a team working together. It is funny watching their (the teachers) head bob back and forth between moms because they aren't exactly sure who to focus their main message of conversation on. LOL
I do pretty much the same as
I do pretty much the same as Rags. "Hello, Mrs whateveryournameis....I am mom2five and this is my husband mr.mom2five. We are looking forward to working with you this year...blah, blah, blah."
I don't go into details. We are custodial. BM has never even been to the schools. As far as the teachers are concerned, I am mom. BM isn't even listed on the emergency contact form. She lives out of state, so she couldn't get here in an emergency anyway. And frankly, she is kind of an embarrassment to her kids. They would rather she stay out of school stuff.