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Appropriate age to walk from school to daycare????

VENUS452's picture

DH, BM, BM's Hubby, and myself all work longer hours requiring some form of after-school care. We had been using the school program but BM was mad that she has to pay for her own portion. So she informed DH that she is going to send him back to the in-home daycare because it's cheaper. When DH asked how he will get there and she said he will walk............

SS is 5, almost 6, and in Kindergarten. DH and I are a little over protective and don't feel he is ready to walk ALONE, he still doesn't even look both ways before crossing the street. We have to remind him every time. I mapped out the walk and it's only 0.32 miles, so not terribly far, but anything could happen in a very short time frame. I've been researching but cannot seem to find a specific law stating an age kids can walk alone.

Are we being crazy over-protective, or is it crazy to have him walking by himself? Any suggestions on how we can stop this? DH even offered to pay for her days to keep him from walking and she threw a fit saying it was too expensive!!

ksmom14's picture

I think that is way too young for a child to be walking by themselves that far. If they didn't have to cross ANY roads on the way then maybe, but that would still need a lot of consideration. My SD9 still has to be reminded to look both ways at streets! So the in home daycare is what he'd be walking to, not BM's house right? I wonder how many other kids from his school are at the daycare facility, maybe there are enough to get one of the daycare workers to make the walk with them?

VENUS452's picture

Correct, he would be walking to daycare. There is only the one provider and she only watched three other kids, one infant and two toddlers that are not in school yet. So there would not be a group available to walk with. Sad I could cry. She doesn't care the DH said no, he's not ok with it. And so far I haven't found a law saying he can't. I don't know what to do. He's not ready for that.

ksmom14's picture

maybe call the local police department and see what they would do if they saw a child so young walking by themselves...

hereiam's picture

I think that is too young. I remember walking to and from school in kindergarten but I was pretty responsible and that was quite awhile ago (and a small town).

I would not feel comfortable with it.

DeeDeeTX's picture

I will say that I remember reading something that said in 1980, a kid ready for first grade should be able to walk to school, but our standards have changed a lot.

I don't think its "crazy" to have him walk there in the sense that kids used to do this all the time. However, in 2014 anyone sending a 5-6 year old to walk alone is basically begging for a call from CPS. Cant you just hire another mom or grandma in the class who walks their kid home? Maybe throw her a few bucks a week for walking with the kid to daycare.

Indigo's picture

WAY TOO YOUNG. If an adult walked child over, fine. Or daycare sent a car or ... but I don't care if the house is next-door to the school. Unless a grown-up is standing there watching the walk, don't do it.

zerostepdrama's picture

Um no... too young... my concern is child predators and kidnappers.

My BS is 9. When he takes the bus home (on days that I work from home) I meet him at the bus stop.

VENUS452's picture

DH asked that and BM said she can't. Apparently she can't leave. I think DH plans to call the lady today and talk directly to her, since we cannot believe anything that come's out of BM's mouth.

Disneyfan's picture

Perhaps she plans to have an older kid walk him over. The vast majority of the kindergarten and first grade students in my school walk home with older siblings(3-5 grade), cousins or neighbors.

Biomomof2's picture

Maybe I'm over protective but too many weirdos out there. My kids are DD11 and BS9. They are not walking anywhere. If and ONLY if there was a group would I allow it. A friend of mine use to live 3 blocks from the school and would watch my kids sometimes. She has 5 bios. They would walk together over there. Ages 1st grade -5th grade. But there was 7 of them. Alone?? At 5 or 6????? NEVER

BethAnne's picture

I'd be surprised if the school allowed this. I know that at SD's school they have to know who is collecting the child and won't allow them to go until the correct adult is there.

If you don't want this to happen and BM won't be persuaded that it is a bad idea then I would take a two pronged attack. I would have your husband contact the school and tell them what BM is planning and that he does not want his child walking alone out from school and will be calling the police if he finds out that the school let the child leave on their own. I would then get him to call the day care provider and say the same thing; he doesn't want the child walking on their own and the child must be collected from the school by an adult or he will call the police.

Personally I see no reason why if the school is so close the daycare provider can't take the two toddlers and the baby for a walk to the school and collect your skid. If she can't handle 4 kids at once for a short walk to the school then how is she suitable to handle 4 kids in her own home. Of course she doesn't have to do this, but if that is the case then she shouldn't be expecting a young child to walk on their own.

Indigo's picture

^^^ This & ^^^^

AND, my neighborhood abuts the main school campus: elementary/middle/high school. No crossing of streets required. That said. No one in our 'hood allows their youngsters to walk alone w/o adult supervision at least until a visual line-up with the front door of the school. You could just about hit a golfball and hit the school, but no-one lets their elementary school kids walk alone. Set up with neighbors, pickup by childcare bus, whatever. It's just a fact of life.

BTW: every year there are a few attempted-abductions, missing children lockdowns and we live in one of the best school districts in our state.

My BS12+ has only now begun to skateboard, walk, ride bike to school. He also texts me when he leaves/arrives. Some days, the dog and I still walk beside him as he goes to school. (ie: when he looses phone privileges)

I walked to school from the SAME neighborhood. It was 40 years ago and times were different.

onthefence2's picture

Go to the school and have them help you find an older kid who is going the same way that can walk him there. Give the daycare provider a dollar for every time the kid arrives safely. She gives it to the kid when s/he drops him off. This really isn't that complicated. There may even be a kid who has to wait at the school for a ride who would be willing to walk him instead of sit there and wait.

Calypso1977's picture

i dont think that's too young.

but that said, most in society (as evidenced on this very thread) think it is so its pretty likely that cops would get called and given the news stories as of late with parents being arrested for letting their kids play in the backyard alone or the local playground at a "too young" age your husband and the BM could get in to some pretty big trouble.

Indigo's picture

Calypso ... I don't know about your neighborhood, but in mine (decent) there have been on average 2-3 abduction attempts from kids walking home each year. Not just blowing smoke and saying things during snack at home, but enough to warrant police intervention and TV time.

What are you thinking?

In the black tea-time of my younger years it might have been "normal" to walk home alone in kindergarten/1st grade/2nd grade. The 60's & 70's were pretty laid back.

No wait!! Cognizant adults stepped up.

For Pete's Sake ... any parent that thinks an early elementary child is capable of being a latch-key, independent kid is an idiot. Justa waiting for CPS to come.

I know that the child would be going into after-school care not to the home alone. Early elementary kids do not have any ability to look for cars, to not get into cars to look for puppies, or to walk 1/3 mile unescorted. It may take them an hour. Bugs and flowers and such catch the eye.

Indigo's picture

AND ...

"A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise ...."

moeilijk's picture

Different cultures have dramatically different expectations for their kids - and different environments. Personally, I think if the only danger the kid needs to deal with is crossing the street, he should be ok. But there are other dangers that are more or less of a concern depending on who your kid is and what kind of setting you're in (farm vs urban, lots of recent abductions vs nary a one)

http://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2014/08/12/339825261/global-parenting...

AllySkoo's picture

I don't know, I'm on the fence on this one. On the one hand, I walked to school at 5-almost-6, by myself. And the "that was 30 years ago" argument doesn't really sway me - there were just as many bad things that could happen 30 years ago as now, the only difference is that there's a lot more "helicopter" parents now so it's not as culturally acceptable.

On the other hand, I wouldn't let my BS5 do a walk like that if he had to cross any roads. At the moment, he just started K and he doesn't walk the 1 block from the bus stop to our house alone. So I totally understand why you wouldn't want SS to walk either.

Why on earth does BM care how expensive it is if Dad is offering to pay for it?!? Something else is going on here....

PokaDotty's picture

Call CPS and ask them directly what they consider the age to be.

Call the police dept non-emergency number and ask what they consider the age to be.

Call the school and find out what the student release policy is.

Arm yourself with information. I'm willing to bet out of these 3 calls, one will provide the information you guys need to prevent this from happening.

zerostepdrama's picture

I wonder if the school would even allow this? I am thinking now. I know that in my school district the bus driver wont let a kindergartener off the bus without an adult at the bus stop.

VENUS452's picture

That's what we are working on now.

I know the bus driver will allow them to get off without an adult because he was accidentally sent on the bus instead of after school one day and ended up sitting outside alone for 5 mins. Luckily DH was home early and raced over to BM's house to get him.

I know there was a specific form that had to be filled out for walkers, but I never imagined SS would be walking anywhere anytime soon, so I didn't pay any attention to it.

VENUS452's picture

Thanks for this. Unfortunately, my state has no minimum age requirement.

SecondGeneration's picture

Too young, way too young.

As others have said call the school, discuss your concerns with them, ask them for their recommendation.
Call the non emergency number and have the same conversation.
Call your lawyer, if the sole reason for the change of day care is due to BM having to pay her share, if she wants to use a cheaper service then she should be responsible for the child getting their safely.

I was walking to school alone when I was about 9, it was a 0.4 mile journey, down one main road, crossed over with a school assistant and I was there.
Again the issue is crossing roads.

VENUS452's picture

Well DH talked to the Chief of Police, and he said there is not statute on the age a child can walk alone. He provided the guidelines they got from CPS for a child staying home alone, but warned that is very different from a child walking alone. His best suggestion was to use best judgement, if your gut say's he isn't ready, then he's not ready. Of course BM doesn't care about that and say's he will be just fine. SS comes tonight, so we will see how he feels about walking. DH plans to call the school today.

OrangeUGlad's picture

I'd call the school and lawyer. Just because it is not specifically "illegal" does not mean it is something bm can get away with.

For one thing, one parent cannot typically change the child care arrangements without consulting the other parent (if it is something both are using).

Just J's picture

I think you need to call the school. When my son was in kindergarten last year, the teacher would not allow a student to leave unless the parent or other designated adult was there outside the classroom to pick them up.