Anyone got any advice on how to stop feeling so miserable all the time?
Any advice on how to stop being so miserable all the time? So there's more to it than I'm going to state right now but me and SO have recently for engaged. Everything has been peachy for 3 years. We have a 2yo together and he has 3 kids with his ex wife. The eldest lives with us because he wants to. The other 2 visit 3 times a week.
Now previously SO has always discussed changes in routine with me etc. Him and BM never got on for as long as I've been with him. She's toxic and nasty and in my opinion a shitty mum (her boys attendance at school is shocking and they can't read or even know the alphabet at 7 and 9). Their diet is also questionable. Anyway, recently it seems he's defending her not taking them to school because of covid saying she anxious. I was anxious about them coming to our house as I knew they weren't being kept inside but didn't stop him bringing them here! I told him it's just an excuse because she can't be bothered to take them. Anyway, one weekend she messed about with them coming to ours that we ended up having them a different day, missing an outdoor music thing we'd booked to go to. I didn't say anything. I just said ok. As I have done for 3 years. Never argued, never said they can't come or stay. How could I? Even through the beginning of covid when my anxiety was sky high. Anyway - recently everything has gotten on top of me. I have come to realise that although I care for the boys and feel I have a responsibility to be a decent role model for them, I have zero parental responsibility therefore no matter what I do, can't change their eating habits; can't get on to their school to get that sorted and I feel completely helpless about when they come here. SO got them at the weekend as usual on.friday and then told me.they were staying all weekend because BM just asked so he said yes. I got upset and started crying saying why don't you ever consult me?
I don't have an issue with them staying, what I have an issue with is him making plans with his ex wife.without consulting me when it affect me and my home and my weekend too. Anyway he got in a mood and didn't speak to me and then told me on the Saturday that I had been miserable all weekend (which I completely disagree with. I thought I'd done a fine job at at least acting happy) he couldn't understand why u was so upset and once again ignored me and turned his back to me in bed. Not only that but BM has been sending 10 kisses on every message to him recently - yes this is the woman he's not got on with for years! and he hasn't even pulled her up on it and when I said to him to watch her because she's not doing it by accident, yes you guessed it he got in a mood with me and ignored me for the rest of the night! I just feel so helpless and upset all the time and he just get a in a mood if I get upset aBout anything. It seems recently if she says jump he says how high without even a flittering thought about me. It's killing me. I keep breaking down in tears. I'm mentally exhausted from caring so much about everything I have no control over. I've contacted a councellor but before I start spending fortunes thought I'd try on here! Anyone any advice?! Xx