Anyone else have step brats who are Jealous of you???
Ok I would understand if SS was say 3 or 4 and wanted daddy’s Undivided attention or only got to see DH every other weekend BUT that’s not the case. SS is going into 8th grade but can’t do ANYTHING without daddy. The big Goober can’t even put himself to bed at night. Daddy dearest has to walk him to his room, turn on the night light and tuck him in. If we go for a walk SS has to walk next to DH and pushes me out of the way. Eat out at a Restaurant? Guess who has to sit next to daddy?? If I try and talk to DH guess who cuts me off and talks over me??? SS is ALWAYS around clinging to DH. Never goes to friends house. I once asked SS WHY he never played in his room or watched TV on his large smart TV with a PS4 SS’s answer..he wants to be with daddy...insert gag...
Honestly I don’t know who I want to smack more SS or DH for allowing this nonsense at his age...
SD10 is right there too. She
SD10 is right there too. She always chimes in "no fair!" if DH does something nice for me. Over EVERYTHING. Things as simple as DH and I are going out on a date... to she gets upset when I get a BIRTHDAY gift. We often hug dance act silly in the kitchen , etc. she says "grosssss, get away!" SD10 will walk around the house looking for daddddyyyy asking where he is. I'll say he's in the bathtub in our bathroom, the office, etc. SD will chime in "HIS bedroom" Um, we've been married more than 2 years, and I also bought this house, but whatever. *eyeroll*
Just like you said, I could understand if SD was 4 or 5 even... but a pre-teen, really? I FEEL like saying, aren't you happy that your dad is happy? Can you be happy for him? For kids that feel entitled and that feel they are the center of the universe, it can be a big reality check I guess. But shame on the bio parents for making them feel like that in the FIRST place!
I get SUPER frustrated when ppl respond and defend that SK fear they are losing their parents. I can totally understand that if the relationship in a blended family is NEW. However, we have been together 5+ years, obviously I'm not "stealing your dad" away. He is still around. He is still here. He is fine.
Does your DH think it is
Does your DH think it is normal to put his 13 year old son to bed every night? I would ask him.
I could see in the beginning of a relationship kids would feel insecure and such. Which I would say is normal. SD13 (8 at the time) was a mild "mini wife" when I first started dating SO. I didn't know mini wife was a term then though.
My 30th birthday. (4 months of me dating SO) We had plans with a bunch of my friends to go out for that night. We were meeting everyone at 7 and it was right down the street from where we live. It was 6:55 (no lie) and we were like ok guys we are leaving. SD (then 8) started screaming. "YOU SAID YOU WERE LEAVING AT 7!!!" I was standing there like whoa! I didn't say anything of course. SO played her game for a minute or two. I said to him I'll met you down there. He didn't let her keep going and we left. An hour later he gets a phone call from BM and he was outside on the phone with both SD and BM for 30 minutes on my birthday. I was mad! He was still playing BMs game at the time. The first birthday I celebrated with him and that's my memory. If that behavior kept going on there is no way I would have stayed.
SD13 and myself joke about that now. She knew what she was doing (admitted it) but, she grew out of it and her and I have a great relationship.
Your SS (if I had to guess) does this on purpose to get to you. DH needs to stop it. Is he going to be tucking him at 20??
Does he think it’s “normal”?? Who knows
but I’ve told him a number of times it’s NOT normal along with all the other crap SS pulls. Falls on deaf ears.
Sounds like you got lucky with your step kid. SS has ONLY gotten worse. I’ve been with DH for ten years so I’m NOT new. SS also throws a temper tantrums if DH does anything with me. DH gets ONE week vacation without SS a year per the divorce agreement. EVERY year it’s the same thing. DH tells SS he won’t see him for a week and the flood gates open. I’m talking big Crocodile tears to a point I want to gag. Then DH needs to promise to call the brat every other day. Big WTF. EVERY year this happens
Yes. I did. But not anymore
Yes. I did. But not anymore thankfully. I was nothing but nice to his daughter and in return she was horrible towards me. I left that relationship.
Being a stepmother doesn't
Being a stepmother doesn't mean you should accept being treated like a second rate citizen ...
"If we go for a walk SS has to walk next to DH and pushes me out of the way."
Do not tolerate this. "SS it is rude to shove people, do not do that to me again." If your DuH objects, ask him how he'd feel if his son had just pushed his grandmother out of the way ... Maybe also ask him why he thinks it's OK to shove you. Point out that YOU are his wife and YOUR place is at his side.
"Eat out at a Restaurant? Guess who has to sit next to daddy?"
Take the spot beside your DuH before SS does and tell him that he can choose which of the other seats he'll have. Repeat to your DuH that YOU are his wife and that YOUR place is at his side.
"If I try and talk to DH guess who cuts me off and talks over me?"
This is inadmissible. "SS, the adults are talking. Wait your turn."
Ask your DuH if he expects his precious baby talk over teachers? Policemen? Of course he wouldn't. So why does he think it's OK to talk over you?
All of the above are simple good manners - your DuH needs to get over the adoration and prepare his child for life in the real world. Above all, stop standing for this crap. You have a voice, make sure you're heard!
Have you ever discussed this
Have you ever discussed this with your husband? And... why do you tolerate regardless?
I would grab daddy by the short and curlies to drag him into clarity and I would firmly and consistently put this kid in his place. No speaking over you, no displacing you at your DH's side, no subjugating you and your place of adult authority in your marriage and family.
Zero tolerance for anything but total compliance with standards of behavior and kid performance that you set for your home. Hopefully DH participates in setting and enforcing those standards. Regardless, the standards need to be established and enforced.
Same here with SD12. All of
Same here with SD12. All of those things you mentioned and more.
I pretty much stopped planning any dinners out or activities when skids are here. I can't stand it. The older kids 13-17 will go off by themselves at the mall or an amusement parks but SD12 will never leave DHs side....
thankfully SD12 doesn't sleep at our house....at BMs she sleeps with BM and here she knows she isn't sleeping with dadddeeeeee......