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Anyone else have a problem with stealing??

Sarahsteal's picture

I strongly believe SS12 among other things likes to steal. A number of things of mine have “disappeared” right after SS was over. DH’s silver watch his mom gave him “disappeared” only to “Reappear” months later on SS’s wrist. SS said he “found” it in older SD’s room(VERY unlikely). I found SS playing with a gold $20 coin. When asked where he got it he said he “found” it in his bedroom closet. The coin had a date of 2017 and we moved into  the house in 2014 so there is NO way that’s possible. I think he stole it from some kid at school. 

SS will brag he has over $900 in cash at BM’s house. Think he’s stealing money from our house. 

A LARGE number of Expensive toys/electronics we Purchased for SS for OUR house have become “lost”. I Firmly believe SS Brought them over to BM’s house even though we told him not to. Guess you can’t really count this as stealing BUT we Purchased these items for SS to enjoy at our house and they are gone never to be seen again. 

Thoughts? Is this just normal stage kids go through? 

Rags's picture

No. I don't steal so it isn't a problem.

And no, it is not normal.  SS 12 needs his ass lit up with a paddle for stealing then he needs to stand before the Police and those he has stolen from to atone for his thieving bullshit.

When I was 5 I took a Lion shaped squirt gun from the front porch of a neighbors house.  It was a really cool squirt gun.  Bright yellow, variegated brown painted mane, bright white fangs and a bright red tongue.   I had to march back across the street, knock on the door, apologize and return the Lion squirt gun while my parents watched from our front porch.  The neighbor gave me a stern talking too while tears poured down my face. In distant hind sight I am confident that my parents had called ahead and worked out the script with the neighbor.  My parents had already tuned my butt for taking the Lion squirt gun in the first place. As I recall the conversation with my parents went something along the lines of "Where did you get that?  Its mine!  I found it.  Where? Outside." at which point the hairy eyeball interrogation quickly uncovered where outside I had procured it from.

I distinctly recall mom and dad hosting the neighbors for BBQ and the four of them laughing it up over wine and cocktails in our living room that same evening.

Considering the great Lion headed squirt gun caper happened 51-ish years ago and I still recall it all like it was yesterday accounts for how much of an impression it made on me.

This kid is not 5, he is 12 and the consequences should be far more memorable than my memories of the Lion headed squirt gun incident..... driven home with a much longer period of stinging butt cheeks and an extended state of abject misery.  Considering that his thefts have included a Silver watch and a gold coin it may constitute grand theft and a handcuffed frog march to a Police cruiser followed by a trip before the Juvenile Courts is in order IMHO.  With all the consequences that can entail.  This need to be dealt with consistently, immediately and agressively before this kid escalates his criminal activities and really hurts someone or himself.

Shudder. Now I am going to have nightmares about Lion headed squirt guns. 

Wink

Wink

 

Thumper's picture

Yep...it happened to us. It was awful.

Also we have a lot of personal items broken, all accidentally of course and house vandalized. Animals hurt too. 1 died shortly after injury.

Please take every necessary step to protect your home. CALL the police.

Not normal...taking cookies from cookie jar, perhaps but this, not normal.

 

Gimlet's picture

Stealing?  No.  How did your DH handle that?

Taking their possessions that were meant for our house to their mom's?  Yes.

Taking things like toiletries/razors/shared supplies to their mom's?  Yes.

DH and I lived apart for most of the time his kids were minors.  I tried to be nice and buy them some decent things, but stopped after everything went to BM's and never came back.  I got OSS nice hair supplies after a haircut because my DH had no idea what to get, those went immediately to BM's and never came back and that was the last time I did that.

Skids also didn't have the sense of decorum my DD and I do.  They just took things without asking, like hats and scarves out of the closet.  Different family norms there, so I made sure my things were not kept in shared spaces. 

Stop buying expensive things.  If he complains, tell him he needs to bring what was previously purchased back from BM's. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

We have the same problem with OSD everything,  and I mean everything ever bought for her eventually leaves this house never to be seen again. But, recently she has started taking little things from me I find when cleaning her room . Which has escalated to bigger things. Her sister tattled on her that she had taken one of my curling irons. When I asked her to return it. She looked me right in The face and said I gave it to her. She took the karaoke machine I bought for all the kids and put it in her room and told the kids it was hers.  She helps herself to anything I leave in the bathroom. At this point I have to keep all my personal products in my room.

Rags's picture

Hopefully you and daddy are bareing her ass when she pulls this shit and making it cleat to the other kids that OSD is a liar and a thief and repossessing everything she claims but that is not hers.

SammyMammy's picture

We have the same issue with SD13. She now lives with her BM mostly because no one here can stand her. Every time she comes here she steals something from my DD13. Mostly her clothing, even bras though. Then she lies about it and says her BM bought them for her. Or her aunt. DH catches her lying, we find her wearing the missing clothing months later and I have to throw a fit for DH to make her return it. Time before last it was her favorite pair of jeans and when she came to the house wearing them my DD pointed them out and I told DH. He was going to just let her wear them the rest of the day! I threw a huge fit, we had a huge fight and finally he made her bring them back. He does nothing about her theft. He just says "all the kids take stuff". Pisses me off to no end. Now anytime she's coming my kids pack up all their stuff and stay in the room so nothing gets stolen, but it's ridiculous. 

SusieCue's picture

This girl sounds like SD15. She's stolen my bras and even my underwear, random clothing items of mine and money from DH and I. DH did nothing and got defensive when I'd tell him that she was taking my things... That is until she stole from her great grandpa and he finally realized that it wasn't just normal "stuff that kids do". DH claimed that he was under the impression that females will just swap bras and panties with each other and it's no big deal. I informed him that I grew up in a house with five women and only women and we did not share undergarments and furthermore, she didn't even ask first. Which was a common theme with her, she'd take things from clothing to snacks (we try to encourage healthy snacks, and sweets only in moderation since both my husband and younger SD have dietary restrictions due to allergies and stuff) without asking and then when she was confronted she would cry about it and say it wasn't a big deal and that WE were mean for getting upset at her.

I'm so glad that SD15 was somewhere else at the time of quarantine and is forced to stay there now. Her sister has immune issues and it was strongly suggested that SD15 stay where she was while this is all going on. But when she was living with us, we had to put cameras in the common areas of the house and outside of mine and DH's room to try to deter her stealing. We also put locks on our doors and I kept a separate bathroom with a lock and key because SD15 would steal my razors (even though she had her own) and hair products (again, she had her own as well).

Cover1W's picture

If your DH won't do it you take control. Locks. Locking doors and / or locking cabinets or storage containers. It's the only way.

I luckily didn't have valuables taken, but had to lock up other things do I would have them when needed (think tools and household repair things). Since DH did nothing, I put locks on the cabinets. Problem solved. My makeup and other styling items going missing was solved when we moved into our home and baths were separated.

The SDs were raised that anything in the house was also theirs. Not true for me. Items belinging clearly to others are not theirs and kitchen and household things not 'theirs to take.' If anything disappeared DH replaced, not me.

Again.... locks.

SammyMammy's picture

I actually bought a trunk and a lock and put a lock on the garage fridge to keep her from stealing specific items. Unfortunately the girls are sharing a room right now so I can't lock my DD's room, but I got her a trunk and lock too. Not everything fits in there, but the expensive stuff at least. The rest she bags and keeps with her or in my room. SD isn't allowed in our room.