I despise summer as far as the skids are concerned...they have no routine whatsoever, sleep in, stay up, wake me up at 2 am when I need to be sleeping because hello--work? They eat any and everything that is sugary, refuse to drink water, change clothes multiple times/day...won't hang up towels, gripe if they are asked to do ANYthing constructive...I know it's more a parenting issue than a skid issue, but because of the effed up schedule we have, there is little hope of getting a sleep schedule in place or even getting habits/routine in place.
These are my skids to a 'T', with a few additions. SD16 is psychotic with jealousy that DH and I had a child but refuses to talk about it. So, it all comes out sideways, she tries to punish DH by being defiant, doing things she knows she shouldn't, flouncing around and flopping down in 'despair', being vile to BS3, picking fights. She is itching to blow things up so she can prove that DH is a crappy Dad. We ignored all invites to join her in this game when they came for a few days last visit, but she is getting here on Saturday for a few weeks and I'm not sure my patience will stand it. The only reason I know I won't react is because I refuse to play stupid power games with a toxic teen, but I'm sure that my insides are going to contort at some point. I hate drama and passive aggressive games.
I will intervene with BS3 though. I don't care what games she is playing with DH, that's up to them, but she does not get to play them with a little one. I'll be keeping an eye on her all visit. Fun summer!!!
WOW sounds like my house. Add if I say anything I am the bad guy and husband always makes excuses for the skids.My hubby is a teacher and stays home in the summer and lets them do whatever. I come home and no "chores" are done..nothing taken out or ready for dinner. No one has showered....its ridiculous!!! And I'm sick of it!!!
WOW sounds like my house. Add if I say anything I am the bad guy and husband always makes excuses for the skids.My hubby is a teacher and stays home in the summer and lets them do whatever. I come home and no "chores" are done..nothing taken out or ready for dinner. No one has showered....its ridiculous!!! And I'm sick of it!!!
I never really dreaded any time of the year with the schedule we had. He was in SpermLand on visitation for 7wks per year. The rest of the time he was with us. The schedule was 5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring. I dreaded the last couple weeks before visitation and the 3-4wks after visitation due to the pre departure behavioral degredation and the post visitation behavioral detox.
It was pretty par for the course regardless of which visitation we were either preparing for or recovering from the aftermath of.
I don't know how step parents cope with this schedule where there are problems. I mentally promised myself s few years ago that in the event that skids moved up here or we became cp's, that I would move out. I will never live with skids on a regular basis. You have my empathy.
Everything you said. EVERYTHING. We have the three/four-day thaw and then the drama begins. I have zero threshold for it now so just totally disengage. I carry on with our normal routine and interactions as if they aren't there. DH is 100% responsible for them so deals with all the toxicity they bring. I know he gets tired of it at this point too and is exasperated by the complete lack of engagement that BM has in their lives that is evidenced by their hygiene, inability to manage their emotions, and interact in appropriate ways with other people. I choose not to have this crazy in my life on a regular basis.
I hate Summer schedule but luckily over in my area we only have 4 more weeks left. They say it takes 7 days to create a [bad] habit and another 14 days to break it. BM is the definition of a Disney Parent: no naps, late nights, whatever he wants to eat, drink, do. He runs that house which is hard to break him out of when he gets back home and actually has grown ups running the show again. Yeah, the 4 weeks can't end fast enough.
We have the same schedule with SD year round, the only difference is that she's home with us during the days instead of being at school. Dad and I are both self employed and work from home. I feel bad because he's excited for the summer break to be able to spend days with her and I am absolutely dreading it... We also get one full week with her and I've already planned a weekend getaway with my girlfriends for a portion of it.
It's the lack of routine and structure that drives me crazy. Every day she's here she does what she wants, when she wants, eats whatever, no bed time... dad and I can't ever make plans to go out and do fun stuff because all she wants to do is stay home and play with the neighbour. She will throw tantrums if she goes more than a day without being able to see her.
I despise summer as far as
I despise summer as far as the skids are concerned...they have no routine whatsoever, sleep in, stay up, wake me up at 2 am when I need to be sleeping because hello--work? They eat any and everything that is sugary, refuse to drink water, change clothes multiple times/day...won't hang up towels, gripe if they are asked to do ANYthing constructive...I know it's more a parenting issue than a skid issue, but because of the effed up schedule we have, there is little hope of getting a sleep schedule in place or even getting habits/routine in place.
^^^^ this ^^^^ These are my
^^^^ this ^^^^
These are my skids to a 'T', with a few additions. SD16 is psychotic with jealousy that DH and I had a child but refuses to talk about it. So, it all comes out sideways, she tries to punish DH by being defiant, doing things she knows she shouldn't, flouncing around and flopping down in 'despair', being vile to BS3, picking fights. She is itching to blow things up so she can prove that DH is a crappy Dad. We ignored all invites to join her in this game when they came for a few days last visit, but she is getting here on Saturday for a few weeks and I'm not sure my patience will stand it. The only reason I know I won't react is because I refuse to play stupid power games with a toxic teen, but I'm sure that my insides are going to contort at some point. I hate drama and passive aggressive games.
I will intervene with BS3 though. I don't care what games she is playing with DH, that's up to them, but she does not get to play them with a little one. I'll be keeping an eye on her all visit. Fun summer!!!
WOW sounds like my house. Add
WOW sounds like my house. Add if I say anything I am the bad guy and husband always makes excuses for the skids.My hubby is a teacher and stays home in the summer and lets them do whatever. I come home and no "chores" are done..nothing taken out or ready for dinner. No one has showered....its ridiculous!!! And I'm sick of it!!!
WOW sounds like my house. Add
WOW sounds like my house. Add if I say anything I am the bad guy and husband always makes excuses for the skids.My hubby is a teacher and stays home in the summer and lets them do whatever. I come home and no "chores" are done..nothing taken out or ready for dinner. No one has showered....its ridiculous!!! And I'm sick of it!!!
I never really dreaded any
I never really dreaded any time of the year with the schedule we had. He was in SpermLand on visitation for 7wks per year. The rest of the time he was with us. The schedule was 5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring. I dreaded the last couple weeks before visitation and the 3-4wks after visitation due to the pre departure behavioral degredation and the post visitation behavioral detox.
It was pretty par for the course regardless of which visitation we were either preparing for or recovering from the aftermath of.
We had the same visitation
We had the same visitation schedule all year, nothing changed in the summer.
I don't know how step parents
I don't know how step parents cope with this schedule where there are problems. I mentally promised myself s few years ago that in the event that skids moved up here or we became cp's, that I would move out. I will never live with skids on a regular basis. You have my empathy.
Everything you said.
Everything you said. EVERYTHING. We have the three/four-day thaw and then the drama begins. I have zero threshold for it now so just totally disengage. I carry on with our normal routine and interactions as if they aren't there. DH is 100% responsible for them so deals with all the toxicity they bring. I know he gets tired of it at this point too and is exasperated by the complete lack of engagement that BM has in their lives that is evidenced by their hygiene, inability to manage their emotions, and interact in appropriate ways with other people. I choose not to have this crazy in my life on a regular basis.
I hate Summer schedule but
I hate Summer schedule but luckily over in my area we only have 4 more weeks left. They say it takes 7 days to create a [bad] habit and another 14 days to break it. BM is the definition of a Disney Parent: no naps, late nights, whatever he wants to eat, drink, do. He runs that house which is hard to break him out of when he gets back home and actually has grown ups running the show again. Yeah, the 4 weeks can't end fast enough.
I hate that I dread the
I hate that I dread the summers now, it used to be my favorite time of the year but now the skids ruin it with their 6 week long visit.
We have the same schedule
We have the same schedule with SD year round, the only difference is that she's home with us during the days instead of being at school. Dad and I are both self employed and work from home. I feel bad because he's excited for the summer break to be able to spend days with her and I am absolutely dreading it... We also get one full week with her and I've already planned a weekend getaway with my girlfriends for a portion of it.
It's the lack of routine and structure that drives me crazy. Every day she's here she does what she wants, when she wants, eats whatever, no bed time... dad and I can't ever make plans to go out and do fun stuff because all she wants to do is stay home and play with the neighbour. She will throw tantrums if she goes more than a day without being able to see her.