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Anticipated problem

AmIWicked's picture

DH has primary custody and BM will get visitation the weekend before summer visitation is supposed to start. She has threatened to keep the kids during his week of summer visitation (effectively switching the weeks) because she says she is interpreting the court order to mean if its her weekend she gets them for 10 days straight to start out summer (which would be two weekends in a row) not the way the CO is written, but I admit it is vaugue and we have not had this problem in years past. I think she just realized the vague-ish language and knows we have a summer vacation planned. We use Our Family Wizard and the calendar's weeks and days for visitation is labeled a year in advance with all updates as soon as we get them.

My question is, what happens when DH goes there Sunday At 5pm to start the summer vacation schedule and end BM's weekend...and she refuses to give the kids?
We have never had that happen before. She threatens but never follows through and I want to make sure from all of your experiences that DH does the right thing.
DH is primary and they live with us full time in our city 45 min away from BM. Her boyfriend is a firefighter for the city they live in and they have local and county cop connections but not state cop connections.

AmIWicked's picture

There has already been discussion between DH and BM about the summer and the calendar being set a year ago (and her choosing to wait until now to say something_after she found out we got tickets purchased).
She said it's her week and she was standing firm. DH said the calendar has been this way for a year, this is why they have a parenting agreement, stability for the kids, stress for the kids, this is what the kids are expecting, etc. He said that was the last he was going to talk about it and she didn't respond or keep arguing.
We are still wondering if when summer comes, will she just not hand them over.

AmIWicked's picture

She put her foot down and said that was the final word. Then he said, no, this is the way it has been,(all of the before mentioned things) and that he would not keep arguing about it.

Last In Line's picture

If the wording is vague and could be interpreted either way, you may be out of luck. I'd consult an attorney and ask their advice.

In the meantime, take away a lesson from this--do not let BM know if you have plans, especially ones that are expensive and difficult to change, because she is going to try to screw them up.

AmIWicked's picture

We didn't announce it to her. We are not that studpid to tell her flat out, "these are our plans, please fuck with them"
We told DH business partners he would be gone for a week(which we had to do). Word got back to BM.

twoviewpoints's picture

" She has threatened to keep the kids during his week of summer visitation (effectively switching the weeks) because she says she is interpreting the court order to mean if its her weekend she gets them for 10 days straight to start out summer (which would be two weekends in a row) not the way the CO is written, but I admit it is vaugue and we have not had this problem in years past"

Who decided which party kicks oft summer schedule rotation? Why , in Dad's opinion is it him? Mom's weekend before kick off really shouldn't figure in as it is part of non-summer regular routine schedule. Are they suppose to alternate each year as to kick off? In fairness, I would think the NCP who gets them less would naturally get the first rotation... but fairness and CO wording don't always go hand in hand.

Some COs will literally state 'summer begins on x day at x time following the last day of the school year'. Does BM and Dad do week on/week off in the summer?

AmIWicked's picture

The court order states the parent with the next weekend after school ends starts the vacation. Visitation for the summer is Sunday 5pm pickup to start the week which ends the last parent's weekend. However she thinks this supersedes the every other weekend rotation. If she kees the kids she will have them from friday May 20th at 5pm through her normal weekend, the whole week of 23-29th to 5pm pickup sunday 29th, which would effectively take DH's weekend away from him. Giving her two weekends in a row.
They are supposed to rotate every other weekend. Summer visitation only adds the days in front of the weekend it does not switch weekends.
Does this make sense?

AmIWicked's picture

It is written that summer vacation starts on sunday. And it is written that weekends will rotate back and forth.
It looks much clearer on a calendar.
And actually the way BM wants it will make it so she has less days over the summer all together.

Rags's picture

As the CP household your DH has a lot of leaway and authority to execution the CO as he interprets it. A vague CO is usually interpreted by what is said and not what is only a possible interpretation. We always kept a rolled up copy of the CO handy to smack the Sperm Clan with when they got lippy.

Since you have kept her informed of your vacation plans through OFW and this is a long time behavior under your CO I would estimate that if your DH puts his foot down, and he needs to do it soon communicating with BM under your attorneys letter head, BM will have little choice but to comply.

Since BM is threatening to not return the kids on schedule it is time to play the lawyer card IMHO before he can interfere in your family vacation.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

twoviewpoints's picture

"As the CP household your DH has a lot of leaway and authority to execution the CO as he interprets it."

:jawdrop: you're sounding like a GUBM. Being the CP gives her husband no authority to self interpret and leeway to decide how the CO shall be executed ....try laying that line, on a judge.

AmIWicked's picture

It is actually BM who is changing the way it has been interpreted. We have never had a problem in the past. I think she just saw a new interpretation of the wording and wants top flex her vague legal muscle.

rosie33's picture

In our state, if that happened, where he shows up and she refuses to give the kids, she keeps the kids. The police will NOT get involved. It is a civil issue and she will get her way. You guys would have to file a contempt against the CO and that doesn't mean you'll win being its so vague. It'll probably just be a good opportunity to get it worded in detail so there are no questions in the future.

We dealt with this issue too. We booked our vacation and the exchange day was on Monday but no set time. So we were returning from Puerto Rico later in the evening on Monday. BM booked her vacation the SAME Monday, knowing we had vacation plans, and booked her flights that morning. Needless to say, the boys were flown from PR straight to Orlando and we got the CO worded much differently after that.