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Another "is this weird" question

Imastep's picture

I just saw a text that SD age 17 sent to DH. It was a pic of a man with a little girl, about 2 years old. They each had shirts on that said "my valentine" and an arrow pointing to the other. SD was asking DH if they could get these shirts and he said absolutely. I know it was maybe tongue in cheek by SD but isn't that a bit unusual for a 17 yr old girl to ask her Dad to be her valentine or to want to wear a shirt that says DD is her valentine? I can't imagine doing that when I was 17. Fine for a 2 year old to wear but not age 17.
To me this just reinforces my other rants about their enmeshment.

hereiam's picture

Right? When I was 15, my dad took me shopping for my waterbed. My dad was pretty young when I was born and looked younger than his age, and I looked older than my age. The sales guy thought we were a couple.

I thought, "Yeah, like I would date/marry HIM." And my dad has always been nice looking but.....

Even now, I think he's a doofus sometimes!

Delphi's picture

Very strange. At 17 I basically had nothing to do with my parents....hell I had nothing to do with them pretty much from birth. So I really don't get these kinds of relationships...

hereiam's picture

Some of these kids seem to have a maturity level far below what the norm was when I was growing up.

My dad as my valentine at 17? Even in kindergarten, I'd rather have a had the cute boy in class as my valentine.

Disneyfan's picture

I think it's sweet.

A few of my friends on Facebook posted pictures of them and their kids having lunch or an early dinner with their kids. The kids were preschool to college age.

hereiam's picture

Were they wearing t-shirts, proclaiming to be each others valentine?

The sentiment is sweet, the t-shirts are a little much.

Imastep's picture

I do agree with this....they haven't done it, nor do I think they will actually get shirts like that. But the fact that she sent him a pic and asked if they could get them is weird to me...

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I think it's gross. She should be wanting shirts like that for herself and her boyfriend at 17, not her father. Ew.

Orange County Ca's picture

It's unusual behavior for a teenage girl but is it sick?

You've posted other situations with this girl and her father and although I believe the girl would benefit from some counseling because I think she's afraid she'll lose Daddy to you I don't think that's going to happen.

I think you should stay as far away from the girls as possible, eliminate all forms of bodily contact or mushy words with your husband while she is around and let her grow out of it. I believe that will happen in time especially when she gets a real boyfriend.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

I'm sorry but I think this is horrible advice in regards to the physical displays of affection. Pretending it does not exist will not make it go away. addressing it with adult communication will.

No good or progress ever came from avoiding the things that make us insecure--all it does is increase the neurosis when it does happen.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

At 17 I was trying to get far away from my parents too... I think only CoDs and kids and parents from broken families tend to do this as an insecurity issue. Just IMHO. I've never seen this happen in intact families.