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Another BM drama for attention?

AmIWicked's picture

BM usually calls the kids on Wednesday nights, (DH has custody).
We mentioned this morning something about having the kids home in time for a phone call and they said, "mom's not calling tonight. She's having surgery today."
DH said, "what kind of surgery is she having today that she won't be capable of a phone call tonight at 8pm?"
Kids said with tears, "she said it's mommy stuff"

Now really, she had a hysterectomy and told the kids full gore details. She is type 1 diabetic and passes out regularly where the kids call 911 and know the local paramedics...

What surgery could she be keeping a secret from her kids, WELL TELLING HER KIDS ABOUT. But not telling them what kind of surgery. So that they are worried about her. And that she wouldn't be able to call them that night to at least say, "surgery went ok"

Unless again she is trying to cause drama because it's the holidays and wants more attention....

zerostepdrama's picture

Were the kids REALLY bothered by not being able to talk to her? Sounds like she discussed beforehand that she wouldn't be able to talk to them that night, so all should be good.

It's not like she was calling you guys whining and complaining about the surgery looking for sympathy, right?

I'd just leave it alone. It's not your business.

Rags's picture

Time top serve up toxic BMs bullshit on a platter. DH should start hitting redial for her number at the time of the scheduled call and have the kids leave worried messages about how the surgery went. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Return the serve that she plays just be better at it. No need to increase the drama just have DH tell the kids "I know you are worried about your mom so lets keep trying to get hold of her until we know she is okay."

Have fun! }:)

AmIWicked's picture

Yes exactly,...

The hysterectomy was apparently because she wasn't managing sugars well and her uterus was dying? She was super descript to the kids on that... and she still took visitation that weekend! This is a phone call for Pete's sake!
Why not just say, "can't call tonight"

And the kids were tearing up about it. They won't see her until visitation next weekend. Won't talk to her until next Wednesday's phone call. So they have a week wondering if "mommy" is ok. From her unknown surgery....that is so secretive andoso much worse than the intimate details she already discloses to them....

I think it is cruel and manipulative.

AmIWicked's picture

Skids are all teenagers... they are old enough to understand and old enough to have real worry for their "mommy"

They mentally can't wrap their heads around why their mom wouldn't tell them what the surgery was either and asked their dad tonight that very question.

onthefence2's picture

Sometimes you guys want to make mountains out of mole hills. It's nobody's business what moms tell their kids before they go into surgery. If you haven't figured it out yet, no matter what the bm does, it is wrong in your eyes. If you try to make something out of every little thing it's only taking years off of YOUR life. Who wants to live that way?

Rags's picture

I think the issue here is BM's manipulative inconsistency. That is what should be addressed and the kids should be fully in possession of the facts so that they can protect themselves from her crap.

She is the one that put the full dislcosure necrotic uterous removal on the table historically which just shows this latest shit is most likely more of her manipulative crap to play her children and her X.

I don'think anyone actually gives a crap about what is actually going on with her health. Bare her ass for the manipulation is the goal I think. As it should be.

Not to mention that barring the ass of a toxic idiot is fun. }:)

IMHO.

AmIWicked's picture

UPDATE:
The skids are emailing BM and she didn't respond to their email (it's been less than 24 hours). But they are freaking out because her email goes straight to her smart phone and she always responds immediately to them.
So they are worried....and they want DH to contact BM or BM MOM&DAD.
DH refused. Said if BM wanted him involved she would have involved him. If it was something serious, BM MOM&DAD would have contacted him.
That made them feel a little better and they agreed their grandparents would have contacted if it was serious.