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Anonymity and Privacy on Step Talk

Admin's picture

OK everybody, hopefully this helps calm some user fears and/or answers some questions.

The topic of anonymity and privacy at Step Talk has risen out of a users fear that their ex's wife has found her on Step Talk.

First, let me address the topic of privacy. Blob posts and Forum discussions are not private at Step Talk. Every word that is posted to this site, outside of private messages, is accessible and searchable by anybody on the Internet (that's a lot of people).

There is a very good reason Dawn decided to make Step Talk an open forum rather than requiring everyone to create accounts and login before you could read anything. We want people to be able to easily find topics and discussions that are related to problems they may have. We also want people to be able to read these discussions without necessarily having to create an account and interact with the site. Some people don't want to talk about their problems but they may gain a lot from being able to read about other people's problems. The best way to do this is to keep the discussions open.

Now, the topic of anonymity. You have as much anonymity at Step Talk as you give yourself. You should have very (very!) little fear of being "found" here as long as you don't post using real names, nicknames or specific places that could be linked to you, or tell someone you don't trust that you talk about your problems on Step Talk (that should be obvious). The Internet is a VERY big place and there are literally hundreds of parenting and step-parenting sites out there. Without something specific to search for, they're never going to find you!

In the case linked to above, the user chose to create an account using her real name. If she was found here, it was because of this alone.

You can safely interact with and contribute to this site without fear of being found unless you give someone the ability to find you. Don't use your real name, initials, nickname or names of specific places unless you don't mind someone who knows you eventually finding you here. It's as simple as that.

If you have done one of the things I listed in the previous paragraph, you can always go back and edit your posts to remove or replace those things. You can even change your user name if you want. But be aware, the search engines have most likely already indexed every word you typed. It can take months before your changes actually show up and replace what is already in the search engines, but eventually most traces of what you posted will be removed from Internet history.

The beauty of the Internet is that it allows someone to be as anonymous as legally possible if they want. You can be who you are or anybody else you want to be. I wouldn't be surprised if we have a few men pretending to be woman here (or vice-versa). Smile It doesn't really matter as long as it allows them to be open and discuss their problems and possibly help someone else along the way.

We are very grateful to all the dedicated users here at Step Talk. Without all of you and your willingness to share your experiences with the world Step Talk would not exist. It would still be Dawn's personal blog on step-parenting. Hundreds, if not thousands, have found help at Step Talk. We hope millions more benefit.

Thank you,
Step Talk Staff

P.S. We are working on a F.A.Q. page that will answer these and other questions you have been asking.

Chocoholic's picture

They are exactly right... Originally I was posting with my real full name.... That was my fault and it was stupid... I was not thinking and I thank you for clearing that up Step Talk Staff because no one should be scared of being found.... as you pointed out.

Admin's picture

Sorry to use you as an example chocoholic, but you happen to be the latest user to fear being found here. Thanks for your understanding. Smile

-Admin

OldTimer's picture

Amen to that!

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Anne 8102's picture

With one exception... I still don't like anon posters. Anon readers are fine, let them read all they want. But please, Please, PLEASE require folks to register before they can post. When folks put their hearts on their sleeves and post their real feelings, they don't really need to be blasted by someone just dropping in and out to create havoc so they can fade away into anonymity, and then sit back and be entertained by another person's anguish. By making them put a little effort into registering, rather than allowing anonymous and unvested folks carte blanche, it gives us a persona to attach the comments to and helps us to navigate those comments with an eye towards where that person is coming from and what their motivation is. We've most of us heard the saying "consider the source," but that's hard to do when you don't know who the source is. We don't need to know who the source is as far as first and last name, but it does help us weigh a person's comments when we can know them by SOME name, whether that name is Anne 8102 (my real first name and last four digits of my phone number) or Cruella, Fearless, Biomom. As stated by Admin, you can remain as anonymous as you want to be when you register, so why not require it? It doesn't hurt the poster a bit, but it does help the reader categorize the comments.

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

dbsojo's picture

Everything I put on here, I have absolutely no problem with Mic's ex finding (notice I don't even mind inputting a name-just nothing linked to stepson or Ms. Perfect). These are all things I would say to her, if she were ever woman enough to not skedaddle away when I am around. That being said, not everyone feels that way, and it's their responsibility to post accordingly. I also agree with Anne (of course, I often do) in terms of anon posts. I have read some very unsupportive and discouraging remarks left by anon bms and the like, that were not related to me, but raised my blood pressure none the less. If people want to read without creating an account, I'm all for it, as that's how I decided that this site was right for me. But you should should should have to create an account in order to post.
just my thoughts.

Admin's picture

We are still discussing whether or not to continue to allow anonymous posting. There are really good arguments for both sides. We'll be making our decision soon (I hope).