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and here I though FDH had retrieved his balls... how I was wrong...

MdMom's picture

I'm tired, I'm wore out... I'm done.
I had thought FDH and I had a breakthrough two weeks ago when BM changed SD's schedule between homes for the umpteenth time this season.
We talked (FDH and I) and I told him how I felt, and he me... We had an AGREEMENT that we would only allow BM to change the schedule two times per summer. (There is nor real CO with set days, well there is, but its an EOD-every other day- schedule from when SD was an infant.)

That all went out the EEFING window about 45 mins ago when BM texted FDH and said she wanted to change the schedule, YET AGAIN, because she didn't realize the County Fair was this week. FDH told me this, and I said, Oh, Too bad... She has Friday and Saturday to take her.

FDH tries to give me BM's sob story... She has to work, blahdy eefing blah!! I told him that's too bad for HER!! Then HE gets upset with ME!!!

Your kidding right?!?
I took a shower, did my home duties, then told my pouting FDH,Whatever... You guys do what you want. I ddon't care anymore... I don't. I have enough on my plate as it is. Just let me know what days you get SD, so I can be prepared.

I'M D-O-N-E

SugarSpice's picture

you are disengaging. good for you.

most fathers have balls that can come off and on according to their needs. when they are being stern with us...presto...there they are. when the skids are around the balls are no where in sight.

newstepmomof3's picture

It seriously makes me nervous reading this. I sometimes feel like I am second to his kids and sometimes even his ex wife. This sounds just like conversations I've had with my F-DH. Sad

Orange County Ca's picture

These informal arrangements never work well for both parties. The only solution is to get a court order of visitation and stick to it. To the minute, ask for and grant no changes.

MdMom's picture

I have told FDH more times than one that he needs to get a CO with an IRON CLAD schedule for SD... He says that he doesn't want to do that because they may take time from him, as of now, we have SD 4 nights a week (when BM doesn't change shit around)

I don't think they would take time from him, because he wants something Court Ordered... But I may be wrong. Who knows? no one in this house... cause he wont get it done. = /

aharris72's picture

I agree. Run. If it weren't for my daughter in the picture, who loves my DF (and he her) I might not stick around if this is how it's going to be with our BM for the rest of my life. Constantly in our faces, changing things, yelling and pitching a fit if we don't bend to her every whim. We can't even get a babysitter without her screening them first, although she can leave the SS9 with whomever she chooses, and does regularly. DF just bent over and let her have whatever she wanted. The result is that now that they've been divorced 4 years, it's worse than ever and back to court we go. Instead, they should have hit calm waters by now and it be smooth(er) sailing.....like MY divorce and custody.

smh. These BM's need a wake up call.

MdMom's picture

It's not so easy... We have Three kids together, and we are Great together! I love my FDH with everything in me. We hardly fight/argue/bicker... In the three going on four years we have been together ALL of our 'fights', I wouldn't even really call them that, they're more like... Disagreements, stem from BM, once we had an argument about SD, but FDH realizes now that I just expect certain behaviors (even from my own kids). Just mainly manors, and things like that.

But I just ccan't do the BM BS anymore. It DRAINS me. Which is why I told FDH that I only need to know when we get SD and when we take her to BM. Other than that, I don't want to know, cause I don't care anymore... If they want to deal with a stressed out SD, then THEY can deal with it.
MdMom has checked out.