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Am I over-suspicious or is OSD and BM pulling something??

Disillusioned's picture

Further to all the other posts about OSD and BM annoyances of late eg; all the things OSD has invited us to/asked us to do for her, only to find out she has "surprise!" invited BM who is right there for everything, like we are all one big happy loving family and do everything together :sick:

Anyway so the latest is OSD asked DH if we/(he) could take OSGS on Sunday on the presumption that it would help her tend to the new baby she's just given birth to

Of course DH says yes, we would love to take OSGS/love to help etc...

Now, I have no problem with this. I adore OSGS and this is not an issue. However, here is what I'm not buying, so I'm asking you ladies for your thoughts

OSD is now at home with the new baby. AND BM has been there to help. AND SSIL is there to help. AND SSIL's parents live close to OSD & SSIL and are highly involved in helping with everything

So, I casually asked DH this evening, why is it exactly we are needed to come get OSGS and take him for the weekend?

It's not that in any way I don't want to, I'm just confused about why.

What I was really getting at was, so is this just another game OSD and BM are playing where they would like us to show up and hang out with BM, undermine me, behave inappropriately with DH, etc.. etc.. ??

I would not be in the slightest surprised if we show up and not only is BM there as usual, but OSGS is 'delayed' having to finish snack, or finish game he's playing, or bags not packed etc... etc... and we are just expected to hang around and chit chat with BM while OSD/SSIL/BM gets him ready AND of course I'm expecting BM to pull the ole "can you please drive me home DH' as she's done in the past. Grrrrr!!!!!

DH himself got fed up with all this nonsense the other day when OSD asked us to come to the hospital to drive her and the baby home, only for DH to learn from SSIL that not only would we be driving OSD and YSGS home, but BM would be in the car and coming along for the 45 minute drive with us

DH said no, he wasn't comfortable with that, but yet today when he and FIL spoke and FIL mentioned that BM was still at OSD's, DH mentions it to me and his attitude is who cares if she's there, we will pick up SGS and go. DH believes there is nothing sneaky going on, that BM is simply helping out and her being there is not a set-up knowing we're coming

But my gut tells me that is it 100% a set-up.

If OSD has BM there helping with the new baby, and SSIL, and SSIL's parents, seriously WHY is it exactly that with all those people there 'helping' that they can't possibly look after OSGS too, and we NEED to come get him and take him for the weekend

I've never had kids so I don't know, maybe I'm missing something here, but I'm hoping for opinions on whether I'm just now over suspicious, or if OSD and BM are up to some sort of crap to undermine me/be inappropriate with DH?

Maxwell09's picture

I think you should let it go. If you're riding with him to pick up OSGS then it doesn't matter who's there waiting for you. You told him you think BM will be there and y'all will get held up for whatever reason and if you're right then your DH can say "okay, you were right" but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because he's so oblivious to BM which probably hurts her feelings even more. Who cares if they have a bunch of help, maybe the boy wants to be with y'all instead? Go get him and have an amazing weekend with him. Let the kid go back saying how awesome you are and stop worrying what the hens are up to this week.

robin333's picture

You need to get your gorgeous on and hope BM is there to see how lucky your DH got after divorcing her. Look at it like that.

Disillusioned's picture

Good advice Maxwell09, and a good point. BM is only hurting herself by pulling this crap, because DH does reject her and I think that defeats the whole purpose of this game with her and OSD

There have been countless times that I've actually felt sorry for her - like the time we were all at OSD's for one of SGS's birthday parties. BM had come with her Mom, and then supposedly gotten into an argument while there, and BM then had a 'private' discussion with DH's sister asking her to ask DH if he would drive her home since she now didn't want to go home with her Mom.

DH's sister than had a 'private and confidential' discussion with DH about dropping BM off on our way. We had all come together (DH, FIl, DH's sister and I) which was strange because we never ever drove to these events together and DH's sister had insisted on it that time, and then the whole 'we have to take BM home' thing, I figured BM and DH's sister had planned this stupid scenario in advance

In the end, DH said no because he just didn't feel like driving the extra distance. BM drove with us as far as FIL's, then DH asked FIL and drive her the rest of the way home, and the whole drive DH ignored BM and talked to me. I remember I felt sort of bad for her

And then there was the time DH's sister invited BM to FIL's birthday party. And DH got up to make speeches to FIL, but insisted that I come on up to the front with him and how much FIL loved me and wanted me to share in the speech giving, etc.. etc... and had pictures taken of FIL and I. BM was not mentioned by DH or FIL once, and I did feel embarrassed for her

So maybe you and Plums are right LOL, I just have to start letting all this go, and rely on BM to get chopped down again and again until one day it sinks in her head, that DH does not want to be with her

And maybe DH's sister and daughter will finally see that all their efforts to disrespect me are only resulting in DH putting me on a higher and higher pedestal compared to BM, so they're only embarrassing themselves at the same time!