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Am I the only one?

wriggsy's picture

Am I the only one here that keeps her eye on the future? (I doubt that I am!) When having a bad day (like today), I daydream about 7 years from now. All three kids will have graduted high school and hopefully, so sick of the parents, that they want to move out soon thereafter! DH and I have been really enjoying the fact that the kids are getting older (13x2 and stb12), we can actually run to the store or other errands without having to take the kids. Now...as you can see from other posts, I have real issues with SD13 and having more and more issues with SSstb12. I get along pretty well with BD13, but she's such a teenager sometimes that I have to remind myself that I will miss her someday....

What are ya'll looking forward to?

Jsmom's picture

Last kid out of the house. And college paid for my son. I think that is what all Steps want. Although listening to some of the other posters on here, it seems that these kids are still a pain when they leave the house.

wriggsy's picture

I think my fear is that the lazy skids will fail a grade or two (SD13 has already attended summer school twice now) and then will end up living on my couch until I die!

I keep looking forward to coming home to an empty (read quiet) house, that is just as clean as I left it that morning. Being able to make whatever I want for dinner (I thank my BD for that complaint!) and be able to go to bed in the evening without listening to arguing children, loud tvs and stomping up and down the stairs!!!

now4teens's picture

DH and I BOTH think about this- A LOT!!

Since we are both 100% responsible for their college (as their other POS birthparents refuse to contribute) we are counting down the years until it's just he and I left. Well, actually him, me and my oldest son for a little while, as my oldest (and our 'favorite' son, has special needs, and will be with us a little while longer- but he's the best and we don't mind him, anyway!)

Oldest SD20 leaves for her junior year of college on Sunday, and she going to try not to even come home this summer and try for an internship at her college (fingers crossed).

Middle SD18 left for college TODAY!!!! She is the one who caused us the most trouble during our marriage and actually left our home to live with BM in December. She has no relationship with DH and I and hates us both due to being totally PASd out. But DH (being the dad he is), still went today to say goodbye to her. And yes, he's still paying for her college 100% even though she hates us.

So this year, it will just be BS17, who is a Senior in HS, and youngest SD15, who will be a sophmore, and of course, my "special" BS20. And the year after that, just SD15 and BS20...

Hang in there, all you with younger children! We finally feel like there is a LIGHT at the end of this tunnel.

DH and I are already planning on what we're doing once they're ALL gone! (No "Empty nest" feelings will be going on at THIS HOUSE!!)

wriggsy's picture

Congratulations on your "light at the end of the tunnel"! Even though we still have at least 7 years until the house is empty...I only have 5 more years until I can start trying to get SD to move out and on with her own life. It's been a LONG 10 years that I've already been dealing with her, so 5 years seems like a cake walk!!! I imagine that my own BD-who also only has 5 years until that magic time of graduating hs--will probably move off to where ever her dad is (he's lifetime military) so that she can be near her new baby (half) brother. She may surprise me and choose to stay close to home and mom, but I think I might just be encouraging her to move out, too....She's a great kid (being a teenager not withstanding), so I know that she will put a lot of thought into whatever her decision is!

tsurko's picture

I have 2SD and 1BD...BD9 likes boys waaayyyy too much for her age. My biggest fear is instead of being kid free in 10 years that we will have multiple grandbabies by then :O

mommylove's picture

While I don't think anyone would WANT their child to be a teen parent, if it does, unfortunately happen, there ARE actually some positives in a seemingly ALL NEGATIVE situation (teen pregnancy)

1) Having a child might actually help an otherwise immature girl mature faster as long as she is takes responsibilty for her child rather than being bailed out all the time by the GPs, and

2) In some states once an underage child has a child of their own they are automatically emancipated which means no more court-ordered CS or Visitation for the teen mom's NCP.

In my case for some reason I DO think that my relationship with SD stb 12 will improve dramatically once she is over 18 and (hopefully) more mature because it will NOT feel expected or "forced". However, I do NOT want to this come at the expense of SD becoming a teen mom - I can wait!

mommylove's picture

Oh, and SD stb 12 has liked boys since she was at least 10 years old that I know of. I have found scribbles she left on pieces of paper in the room after she's gone home after the weekend with things like "SD stb 12 -loves- some random boys name (and the name HAS changed!) = Forever. (Boy this brings back memories!) SD also recently got her cell phone taken away (briefly) by H for burning up anytime minutes talking to some boy (which coincidentally one of the scribbles I found included a list of "Goals" and one was "to talk to [boy] as much as possible this summer." Finally, I caught SD watching porn on the internet earlier this year and wondered how many times she'd done this before she got caught! This really shattered any picture of "innocence" I had left for SD stb 12, so yeah, SCARY!

Tx mommy of 3's picture

My hubby is counting down the days (years) he has left of paying cs...6 years! We just hope he doesn't fail and actually graduates! By then our youngest will be starting school and we'll have more money for OUR kids for once. Oh, plus he plans on goin on a big trip aftercs stops!

wriggsy's picture

When thinking of the future, I also get a tickle (occasionally) when I think about that parental curse "I hope your kids treat you just like you treat me". I can remember when my BD was just a baby....a colic-y, crying, screaming, demanding little bundle of baby. I was having a rough time one morning (while at my parents house) and was almost to the end of my rope...holding this little non-stop crying human being. I looked over at my dad (I think I was about to start crying myself), and he is just beaming! He smiles lovingly and simply says "Paybacks are a bitch!" and just keeps smiling at me.

When I think about how SD treats DH and me...I can only hope that what goes around--comes around....is that wrong of me?