You are here

almost gone....

startingover2010's picture

the night before halloween, sd11 had her friend sleep over. the girls were extremly loud and would not go to sleep, so i was up until 3am. i cannot trust sd11 by herself, much less with a freind over. so anyways, when i woke up with bd3 at 7am, needless to say i was exhausted, with a migraine to boot.

on the way to a halloween festival, i needed my sunglass as the sun was making my head split. they are gone, no doubt from sd11 theiving them. she claims she doesnt know where they went. so i wear bf's glasses, didnt say nothing else about it, i figured that i didnt want to ruin halloween for my bd3.

we search the whole house all weekend. cant find them. tonight, while sd11 was at her tutoring, i search her backpack, and find my sunglasses, destroyed, and not accidentally.

bf is furious and says he will buy me a new pair. i decline the offer, letting him know that the bitch will steal the new ones and the bitch will break the new ones. i of course didnt say 'bitch' to him but that word was in my mind. when he brought sd11 home and confronted her about the glasses, she was angry at ME for going through her bag. and angry at bf for 'letting me' go through her bag. i explained to bf how i want NOTHING new from here on out because she'll steal it.

when i asked sd11 why she is targeting me, she told me that its because 4 years ago, i accidentally bumped into her bookcase (a flimsy piece of shit) and her ceramic figurine fell and broke. comeplete accident, and at the time i tried my best to fix it for her, i felt so bad. hell, i remember her thanking me for trying to fix it. anyways thats the excuse she gave.

i told bf that it is coming down to her being sent to an institution for help or for me and bd3 leaving until she is 'fixed'. he didnt argue, didnt act angry. he wasnt thrilled, but i could tell he was finally accepting that his daughter was ruining everything. he is going to take the remains of my glasses to the therapist tomorrow and see what she says.

oh and sd11 punched 2 big holes in her wall sunday night and destroyed her room (including toppling over that flimsy pos bookcase) all because we were hanging out with her friend. seriously. one second ALL of us are in the living room talking and laughing, the next sd11 runs in her room and starts destroying the room, screaming like she's being raped and shit. comes out of her room and says to friend "your mom let you come here to play with just ME!". i wanted to have her baker acted but bf said no. dumbass.

so i'll update on what the shrink says tomorrow. maybe sd will get the help she needs quicker or else maybe i'll be free.

buttercup123's picture

OMG, she needs serious help. So glad she is going to a shrink. Maybe she needs to be medicated. Best of luck.

justwantpeace2's picture

Wow, I thought my sd was bad. She never tried to destroy her room. Just the screaming and punching walls in the rest of the house! I feel for ya! Good luck with the shrink!

Pantera's picture

Good luck. Anger issues need to be taken care of as soon as possible. Im glad your BF is seeing this.

stepmasochist's picture

Whoa, that kid is outta control.

I'm not familiar with your story. Why is she so angry? Where's her mom in all of this? Has the kid been abandoned by BM? She sounds seriously effed up!

Maybe buttercup's right. Maybe she needs a psychiatrist and some meds temporarily until the therapy can start to work it's magic.

Your situation sounds like a living hell. Stay strong and hopefully you and BF can figure this out.

baker acted was a good idea in that instance. She seems like a danger to herself or others. Has she ever physically hurt your or your kid?

Orange County Ca's picture

Prepare yourself for a long battle to get this kid on an even keel - if ever.

Have you stopped being a parent to her? If not do so as this is the cause of a lot of resentment. Just don't involve yourself in the decisions in her life. Dad is everything. You don't give her permission to do anything nor do you punish for anything. It's 100% Dad's job. You can be nice and offer to teach her how to bake a cake if you wish but you never tell her to do her homework.

This will not solve this kids problem but it will take you out of the equation and relieve a lot of the stress on everyone.

This is going to cause problems with your 3 year old as she is going to want to know why the 11 yo is allowed to do things and remain unpunished or uncorrected by you. Tell her the simple truth, in age appropriate words, is your best option. Tell her the 11 yo is different and will always be different. She has a different mother and that mother and father are raising her in a different way. You however are responsible for [the 3 yo] and since you don't want her getting in trouble like the 11 yo you have set different rules for her. When appropriate of course the age differences can explain different standards. Tell her when she is an adult she will understand better but for now that's the way it is.

Purpleflower09's picture

I have to say some parts of what you said made me burst out in laughter..not about your situation, but I can just invision what I would be like. I can tell you have an excellent sense of humor..keep that..it's will keep you sane..TRUST ME.

Sorry to hear. Seems like you SD has some major MAJOR issues. Hope things come to light.

Purpleflower

Stepmomtogirls's picture

I hope this isnt what I have to look forward to with SD7.. nevermind I'm already there.

I have decided to stop trying to be a parent, let her dad do everything and let him really see how terrible she is.

I hope that therapy helps your SD. *hugs*

lovelovelove's picture

Sounds like she needs a serious ass whooping and a permanent trip to the looney farm!

Love Wink

**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**

startingover2010's picture

lol, i havent parented in a few weeks now and yes bf does see how she is. finally! but, he is still insistant that she cant go to any kind of bootcamp type of place.

the therapist told us this morning that in these kind of cases, the child will go live with the other parent. bm is psycho so that isnt an option. plus i think that what sd11 needs is hardcore discipline, which bf cant administer. i could, but without bf there fucking it up for me.

i am basically ignoring sd11 as much as i can. tonight she asked me to redo her hair color and i said no. she was mad but oh well, and bf told her that if she wasnt so nasty towards me then maybe i would.