You are here

All of a sudden won’t have more kids with me

Misstepped's picture

I have one bio with DH (3 months) and 2 skids. 6 years ago when we got together I was hesitant as I said I wanted a few kids if my own and didn't want to go any further if he was done having kids. He assured me he wanted more and that he was more than happy to have 2 and create a new family of our own. 

Fast forward to now and tonight he is telling me he will never have another child. Bubs was going through the usual witching hour....comments like "I've done this enough now, I'm not going to go through a 4th time" 

Meanwhile I told him he needs to start paying more attention to bubs and better bonding. He only really holds him if I need him too, and doesn't really "play" with him or give him attention. I left him with him today for 15 mins to go to the shops and when I came home bubs was in the baby chair and DH was on scrolling through social media. 
 

Now bubs is in bed and DH is cuddling on the couch with the skids again. Today he went to skids sports. 
 

I'm pissed that he won't make an effort to bond better with bubs, and I'm pissed that he has all of a sudden decided I won't be getting another baby and sibling for our bio. I feell ike he has me trapped now. I don't want to break up bubs family. I am seething just watching him coddle the skids as I sit here and wrote this post. Why do the precious golden skids get attention while the rest of us suffer.

SeeYouNever's picture

That sucks, but he may get over this as the baby grows and becomes easier. My husband said similar things during sleep regressions even though I was breastfeeding and doing most of the work. I just sort of began asking him to do more and having him hold her more. Her adores our daughter and we're expecting a second now. Some men suck with infants but when they start crawling and playing they come around if you make him spend time and do caretaking. 

Misstepped's picture

That's promising. Baby is only just coming out of his newborn phase and still difficult at times. I'm hoping as it gets easier things will change. And I'm hoping that he will give him love and attention in time and not just the skids. That would be the end of me if he didn't. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Do you WANT another child with your DH?

That would be the question I would ask if I saw my husband coddling two of his children but ignoring the third. And if he only interacted with the baby because you physically aren't there to do the work.

Not exactly sounding like the kind of father I'd want to subject another child to. Would be better to get a sperm donor and do it all yourself if that's what you're doing already.

GoingWicked's picture

I wouldn't put any weight into what is said when you're going through the trenches of parenting.  My DH didn't bond to either of our babies at first either.  I was breastfeeding and until they were toddlers, they really only wanted me anyway.  ODS was almost 2 when DH abruptly decided he wanted another one after all.