So as some of you know, my fiance has moved away for work (7.5 hrs away from me and 8.5 hrs away from his son) about a month ago. At first it was really difficult to be away from each other and I have cried lots of time often during our phone conversations or right after. Now I guess it is starting to settle in a little bit of what our life separated would be like and I guess it's not as bad. He too says he's just lonely on weekends when he's not working. I moved back in with my parents after he decided to get up and go (I was part of the decision making process to go..I think I made him believe I would go with him) but I have had a change of heart because in my gut I feel like he's not being considerate to my feelings about the move and just thinking about himself. He has admitted that he's sorry that it appears that way and he does not mean for it to happen like that. But that he really thought I was going to follow him and that we would have never separated. I do have trust issues with him, but could just be due to his assorted past (drugs, cheating (on ex-gfs), porn, etc). Btw we got engaged just as he decided to go...anyways what I'm trying to get it is the fact that he doesn't understand or want to understand my thoughts and feelings about this. I have tried to talk to him about it numberous times but sometimes I'd rather us not have tension so I talk about it for a bit then change the topic to something more light hearted so we can end the conversation on a happy note. I know it's not the best approach and I admit too that my communication skills aren't that good either. Seeing as though there are alot of potential issues and problems, I would like to take the chance when we do meet again in person during Christmas to discuss everything and put everything on the table. When I told him about this, he said "WE're having problems?" Um YES.

The other part to the problem is that he wants me to move to where he is, because apparently I would be very "helpful" to him there...argh.. don't you just hate the way guys phrase things sometimes..can't he just say "I miss you and I want you to be around". But like I said the move is 7.5 hours away from my family and friends and everything that I know. It would be a huge leap of faith and effort to that for him, when I don't feel like the favour or gesture is being reciprocated in any way. He has though talked to his boss about giving me a job in the office, which would be flexible, so that part I like since I'm still on the job hunt here. But I don't know..the independent woman in me is crying out about the fact that both our worlds would be too overlapped (since he has nothing but a job there) to be totally content. I like my own friends, my own job, my own acheivements, etc not to be linked to him. And btw he knows he has to come back eventually for his son, but he won't give me a timeline as to when, as he puts it "it could be months, it would be years, i really don't know, I'm taking it one day at a time" AHHH...

But anyway if any of you have a particularily good and working way to approach a man about difficult issues, please do tell. I could really use some help! Thanks ladies!