So, as I've posted before, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now and we got very serious very quickly. He has a 4 year old son who I help take care of when my boyfriend is at work and his son and I have gotten close and have a good relationship. Every time my boyfriend calls his son when he's at BM's house, the first thing his son says is "Where's Bunny (my nickname that my family calls me), what is she doing, when can I see her?" It's really sweet and I love that kid dearly.
My problem now is that I have PKD (genetic degenerative kidney disease) and I just recently got some lab results back saying that it's now spread to my liver. Nothing is life threatening yet, but in the next several years (could be next year, could be in 40 years, there's no way of knowing) I will eventually go into kidney failure, and it's probably going to be sooner than later. I've told my boyfriend that I have a kidney condition because I've been in the hospital probably 3 times since I met him, but I haven't told him the details or the extent of my kidney disease. I didn't want to say anything while my kidney function was still good, but now that it's spreading to my liver, it's becoming more serious and I'm feeling more of the symptoms.
I feel like it's only fair to tell my boyfriend about the extent of my disease now since we're getting to the point where we're deciding that we want to get more serious because this might change how my boyfriend feels about me and his plans for the future because I now won't be able to get pregnant or have my own biological children. It might also change how my boyfriend feels about my relationship with his son and if he wants his son to get more attached to me then he already is. I mean, I would hope my boyfriend's feelings for me wouldn't change, but it's not fair of me to ask him to be with me knowing what we'll eventually have to got through in the next several years as my kidneys and liver go into failure, I can't ask him to be with me when I know I'm going to get really sick one day. That's a lot to ask of someone. I just want to be honest with my boyfriend so he can figure out what's best for him and especially for his son.
So my question is if there are any parents out there whose SO was/is in a similar situation with their health? How did your SO tell you? How did you handle it? Did you tell your kids about it, assuming they were old enough to understand? I'm just looking for advice on the best way to tell my boyfriend and if I should expect the worst... :?