Stick to facts.

"sd, it's a criminal offense to open other's mail."
"sd, this is my bathroom. You have nothing in here, please stay out of it. I don't go through your things, don't go through mine."

"sd, if you want the house, you will need to buy out my share, since I paid for half."

"sd, what makes you think that your dad will leave you what belongs to me?"

It's hard to treat a child like your own when they don't treat you like theirs.

SD is 18? Good. I would not have her over in my home. She is too old for custodial visitations and your husband can see her outside of YOUR home. She has constantly shown you disrespect which your husband has helped along. He has disrespected you too and cultivated the lack of boundaries she has with you. How nice that a kid is trying to shove you or your husband into a grave or calling dibs on your property... I am sure wolves raise their young better than this.

I would NOT have a bio child with a man that has spawned and NOT parented his 18 year old pride and joy. I am not co-mingling my genes with someone who has no idea of what parenting is about if I look at the fine example he has produced with SD (an advert for birth control if there ever was one). This is not a personal attack - this is the same thought process I have had with my own husband whose own (lack of) parenting skills means even if I could have a child with him, I WOULD NOT.

Please DO get a lawyer to defend your own rights - and think about whether you actually want to be married to a man who chooses his daughter over you.

what Secret wrote ^^^^^
-----------------------------
OMG if my bio's acted like that...They would not be stepping one foot in my home.

That IS what would happen.

You need to put this SD18 in her place!

I put my SD56 in her place 4 years ago. DH hated me for it, but guess what, I put him in his place also. Laws are not made to be broken, rules are not made to be broken, and I would turn your home into a peaceful sanctuary immediately.

Our home is peaceful now. My DH seems to like it better too.

Setting your SD18 straight will be a battle, but well worth it. Call her bluff and then stand your ground. Don't expect DH to have your back or help you here; you probably will have to take this on alone. I did. They just thought I was a "bitch", until I straighten my mess out; now they know I am.

(((hugs)))

Your DH knows, but won't admit to himself, that his adult child is a manipulative brat. It's easier to make excuses for her and let you be mad for a bit than to actually put his daughter in her place.

She's an adult now, so treat her as such. Secret gave some good ways to do that above. Show her that her antics will be met with retorts. Then disengage when you can until she shapes up. If your DH wants to deal with an unruly adult child, let him do it alone. If he wants help or for you two to have a good relationship, then he can hold his daughter accountable the same way you will.

I’m stuck just like you, except the skid’s still got 10 years before she threatens me out of my lawful property. I told him no more trying for baby and I go my seperate way because I feel like he’s doing a reverse baby trap on me, after the biowhore did it to him. He thinks the sooner I’m knocked up then I’ll have nowhere to go and he gets the best of both worlds. You’ll need to change the terms on your title deed for the house to make sure you get the correct share. You should feel empowered about understanding with clarity you legal rights, she did you a favour and showed her hand way too soon. Whilst he’s alive prepare your paperwork and protect your home.

I don't think I'd have a kid with him, but why not use it as leverage? When the baby issue comes up, tell him you're worried about your future and your unborn baby's future when SD is emboldened enough to announce that she plans to manipulate you out of your home. Sound like the victim who needs his help to make sure you don't end up out on the street with a baby if something happens to him. Then get thee to a lawyer and get this shored up. Then double up your birth control.

Stepparents are only seen as interlopers to these kids. Nothing is off limits to them.

Dear TheBlindSide: Thank you for writing. In a lot of ways, your situation reminds me of mine (I'm also a woman who is with a man with teenaged daughters, trying to decide if I want a child). From reading your post, I'd have to say that I would VERY STRONGLY encourage you to NOT procreate with this man. It just sounds awful how his 18 year old is treating you, and how he seems to side with HER. It sounds like a recipe for heartache... Unless you think that the joy from having a son or daughter with this particular man will outweigh the years of grief.