Advice on how to tell SD about temporary custody?
Temporary custody orders should be coming out this month. BM is trying to come up with a "fair" way to tell SD (14) about what the custody orders are.
Just for some background, SD wants to live with her dad (DH) and has maintained that for almost a year now. Her mom is a felon, amongst other things, and SD claims her mental health is not good when she's with her mom.
So with these tempoary custody orders being released soon BM thought it would be best if both her and DH told SD in-person together so they could answer her questions together and 'look' amicable in this.
The issue is, if BM gets favored and granted what she wants in these cusody orders then it's going to be against SD's wishes, and thusly against her dad's wishes. He doesn't really want to stand next to BM and make it seem like he agrees and that he won't keep fighting for SD and SD's wishes...
And we don't expect that BM would love to stand there and make it seem like she agreed if DH got granted temporary custody rights. You know?
I guess DH could forewarn BM that he will talk about it in-person but that he will be honest. He does not agree with the judge's choice but respects it - so that SD knows he's still on her side. And I suppose DH could tell BM that she could say something similar if DH is granted what he wants. You know, so both parent's are being honest with the teenager, but not too honest. Like we don't need to talk about how mad or hurt we are. Just that we agree or don't agree but that we will remain respectful.
IDK though. That seems like a lot of work for two parents who still seem emotionally raw. What do other people do? How do they fairly break the news to the kid?