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9 year old SS making sexual comments

keepitsimple203's picture

My SS9 has made several off the wall comments and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. SO just laughs it off and ignores him. But I think he needs to talk to him!! I sure as heck don't want my BD6 picking up on this and making sexual comments!! It started maybe three or four months ago and it is really akward... One night all of us were watching a movie and two teenagers started kissing and my BS10 got all embarrassed and was like oh geez I don't want to see this... SS shouts out "Don't change the channel! I want to see all the sexy stuff in movies!!" SO and I looked at each other and just kind of shurgged. I mean, it was a weird thing to say but not a HUGE deal. Few weeks later I was in the shower and SO came in the bedroom and told the kids to give us 10 minutes and we would be ready to go. SS says "Leave the door open i want to know what you guys do in the bedroom *wink wink* if you know what I mean". Apparently SO just laughed but when he told me about it I was disgusted!!! He has made several gross comments like that about what SO and I "do in the bedroom". It REALLY creeps me out. I keep telling SO he needs to talk to him and tell him that if he has questions about stuff he can ask him but that it's very inappropriate to say things like that all the time...

So then last night we are sitting on the couch and my BD is sitting next to SO. She was looking at the veins in his hand and said something like "Oh my gosh that one moves when I touch it" and SS comes around the corner and asks what she's talking about. She tells him and he responds "Ohhhh I thought you were talking about something else on my dad. If you touch that it might move and get bigger". SO was on the phone and paying no attention to what they were talking about. When he hung up I told him and he's just like Wow that's really gross that he would even think something like that. Yes, no f*cking kidding!!! Am I over reacting?? I feel like a nine year old saying something like that is a huge red flag. I'm thinking has someone touched him? Or told him these things? And why would he keep saying stuff like that to his dad and stepmom??? Someone tell me I"m not crazy. My SO is so laid back he just laughs it off!!!!!

ITB2012's picture

For years BM and DH excused whatever SS said or did as “that’s just SS.” He was very socially awkward from both nature and nurture. When he was a little older than your SS the other kids and some neighbor kids came to me and DH all grossed out and told us something SS said that they, all around the same age as SS, thought was nasty. 

DH couldn’t excuse it. It was disgusting. The lucky thing for me was that it was public with witnesses and DH always wants to be thought of as the nice guy so having a kid say bad things would tarnish that image. 

I just thought it was nasty and he needed to know that isn’t okay no matter what. We rained holy hell down on him for about twenty minutes and he got punished. He stopped doing it. 

Kids these days who are given every excuse and are not taught manners will say things to try saying them and because they have no one enforcing boundaries on appropriate behavior. 

Forevertired's picture

Out of interest does the BM have a bf? May he have seen/or heard either of his parents have sex?

Someone touched him? It’s a possibility but also one of his friends could of told him all about sex etc if they had already been exposed to it such as movies or seen porn.

does he use devices unsupervised and without parental controls on? 

This needs addressing now before the behaviour potentially escalated and he inappropriately touches another person, it’s not normal at his age. therapy or talking to the school plus parental controls maybe a good start. 

 

beebeel's picture

That's super weird and creepy. Ask your DH if he's going to laugh it off when he's suspended from school for making sexually explicit comments to students or teachers.

elkclan's picture

Yes, it's gross and inappropriate. But this may be the kind of talk he's exposed to Chez Mom.

Personally I'm the queen of double entendre, and yes while I do try to watch it in front of the kids, sometimes old bad habits die hard. Also I will giggle if the kids say something. But kids are kids and push boundaries, so you have to say - look, I know you're just trying to be funny, but you've crossed a line, it's not ok. My BS12 went through this phase at about the age you describe above and he's much more circumspect now. SS10 is just coming out of the phase. 

It's your house and family and you have every right to say "That's not appropriate" - kids being kids, it will escalate until you draw a boundary or they grow out of it. But they're more likely to 'grow out of it' if you draw a line. 

The final comment was way, way, way, way, way over the line and may indiciate something else going on but also may not. At any rate, you can't expect kids to be socially aware and that's why you have to TELL them when they're squicking other people out. 

Wrong Way Diva's picture

Even shows you think are 'tame' are starting to have more double entendres--we were watching freaking 'Family Feud' the other night and the answer was "pop a woody"!   7 year old says "Whats that?!?!"    Even shows like The Big Bang Theory reference sex and 'naughty stuff'.   He's probably saying things for shock value or a laugh--shows like South Park or Beavis and Butthead were popular when my kids were that age......I agree with Elkclan.   Explain why it's not appropriate at the dinner table, school, etc.   My SO is a gentleman at the dinner table but can tell a super funny "little Johnny" joke in the garage.