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8 year old taking my stuff

Just step parent's picture

i really don’t know how to discipline  her. She knows not to take my stuff. It’s not the first time. I do t have children of my own and this is just new to me and hard. I don’t want her to keep doing it. Help

sunshinex's picture

Try a serious talk about stealing and consequences if it happens again. Consequences can be anything from taking a favourite toy to no screen time - whatever works for her. If it happens AGAIN, you watch her closely and tell her you're watching her closely. Check her bags before she goes to school, check her room every night, show her what happens when you lose trust. 

ITB2012's picture

DS doesn't take things that aren't his, never did even as a little kid. I didn't even need childproofing in the kitchen. Just tell him not to touch and he doesn't.

The skids and even DH are a whole different story. NOTHING is off limits. It's been a hard slog and still hasn't changed much except that I have a lock on my closet door. DH resents it. I told him I agree, I resent it, too. But if no one has any self control then this is what has to happen, or I move all my stuff out.

If your SD seems like she'd respond to it, ask her how she'd feel if someone (you) took her things without asking. If she says she wouldn't care then tell her that fine, you will be taking her at her word. When she is in her room just walk in and take some very obvious things she would notice are gone and has to notice you are taking (walk all the way out of the room, not just as a "demo"). Hopefully she cares and she isn't happy. Then explain that's how you feel when she takes your stuff. Sometimes they need to feel it to understand how to think about feelings and how something might feel without actually doing it.

If she doesn't care at all and doesn't say a word, be careful. Make sure she doesn't whine to your DH. Let him know what you are planning on doing. Do not let them both gang up on you. If she doesn't care you took stuff and DH is on your side about not taking things then you have a bigger problem. It may take punishments rather than just living the scenario herself.

Mommyundearest's picture

I went through this with the oldest.He once stole an irreplaceable photo album of mine and ripped it apart ,to re the pictures up just because I wouldnt let him play a video game because he had homework.Then things of mine were coming up missing.I knew it was him because hed done it before but I couldn't find the things so I thenI put all my valuable things in a trunk and put a padlock on it.Do this before you lose something special that cannot be replaced