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5 year old stepson waking at all times during the night terrified and upset. What should we do?

MSmith92's picture

Submitted by MSmith92 on Sun, 05/25/2014 - 11:01pm

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My 5 year old stepson, Josh, has woken me up every single night for a week straight, sometimes multiple times a night. He always says "you're leaving and not coming back. I'm scared. Don't leave me." This is followed by lots of tears and the request for me to lay in his bed until he falls back asleep. Is there any certain reason he may be doing this and is there something I can do about it? Or is this just a normal phase that all kids go through? His BIO mom is in and out of his life and rarely sees him. Could this be a reason for it too? If there's a way I can prevent this or a way to ease his mind, it would be great. I don't want him to keep going without a full nights rest.

Smellissa's picture

Submitted by Smellissa on Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:25am

I know you've probably done this, but I think you have to talk to him in the light of day. Ask him WHY he thinks you are leaving, and if there is anything you can do to make him feel better.

Give him something that smells like you to sleep with. Maybe that will help

MamaFox's picture

Submitted by MamaFox on Mon, 05/26/2014 - 3:08am

This sounds silly but...

When I was fostering emotionally disturbed children, I had a spray bottle filled with water and glitter and a few drops of lavender and chamomile essential oils, that I labeled "Monster go away spray". We had a long talk that sometimes thoughts that make you feel bad can be monsters too...(they had abandonment issues also..for obvious reasons) so when we have those thoughts like when we are in bed or it's dark, I wanted them to wake me up and tell me about the bad thoughts or monsters and we would "wish them away" (read: we would talk about them and I would reassure them they were safe), and then we spray the pillows or blankets or under the bed....whatever they felt like. And then hugs and kisses and we all go bAck to bed. It really seemed to help, and the nightmares went away in a few weeks. And it also seemed to help them open up mentally to recognize that this was a safe place for them.

Might give it a try.

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Mon, 05/26/2014 - 4:39am

What a wonderful idea. Opens the door to letting the kid face fears while getting love and comfort.