16 Year old
OK so here we are, they are coming back friday. As usual the 9 year old is ok,, clean nice ect
16 year old, eats like a pig, not poliet no thank you no hi no bye. Dirty , doesnt shower the entire weekend he is over and he stinks. his dad payed from him to get his L teaches him to drive, pays his insurence, not one thank you,
i would not do anything for him till i got at least a simple thank you . he has no intrest in working. do you know what he said ? we were sitting at breakfest last week, i said you should start looking for summer work i said a few polaces are hiring ,, walking disatance from your home. summer job things , walk up take out places on the water ect, he called them retard jobs,, i hate that word first off second i said how dare you call it that ? what do you think you will get at 16 going on 17 ? tug boat captian ? engeenier ? he said he wanted somwething more interesting, i just dont know how to deal with him any more. I cant stand anything about him , the way he walks talks, eats , breaths , lol
please god help me have the strenth to deal with him for how ever long .
I looked at your bio when I
I looked at your bio when I saw you mention your SS getting his L and yep! We're in the same province. You and I both know how businesses are shutting down because of the major shortage of staffing. I really don't get how a young person wouldn't want to take advantage of being able to have his pick of jobs (within reason of course) and choosing to stay unemployed and broke. I could not have any shred of respect for someone who has access to tons of jobs only to turn his nose up at them and call them "r" jobs. The shitty hygeine would drive me insane too.
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. It has to be up to your DH. What does he say? If he's a Disney dad you're stuck with the version of SS that he is. I'm so sorry!
He says let me work him , i
He says let me work him , i cant turn my back on him blah blah,, i said you have worked on him for the last 4 years that he has been coming over NOTHING is changing,. it so hard to watch, be around ect.. its painfull really is.
when he said "r " job i just
when he said "r " job i just sat there looking at him , who says that ?
Isn't that interesting
It's interesting the skids who have not really acquired real world skills seem to all think everyone wants to hire them, like they already have multiple offers line up waiting. When I was looking to switch jobs I applied for close to a 100 positions, and only heard back 20% of the time. Granted this is not my first time changing companies, but I've also never thought everyone WANTED me when I was looking for my first job.
My SS recently said he wants to work at a golf court. DH was happy to hear until I asked SS what he thought the job duty is like. SS said he'd be driving the caddy around and tell everyone they are doing a great job. That's his idea of "work" that deserves to be paid lol
But hey, if a job like that actually pays and he gets to support himself then I'm all in.
My OSD was like this too. She
My OSD was like this too. She stank!
And jobs?! Oh, it was all below her. DH even found this great easy online job, could pick her own hours, and no. It was too boring.
He's never even brought up the topic with YSD, now 16.5. He knows it's normal for teens to have jobs but his are the exception.
I don't lift a freaking finger to help at this point.
He feels everything is below
He feels everything is below him too,, i just dont care anymore and will not life a finger ,, thats it
16 SD
Oh, I hear you. My oldest SD just turned 16. Sje has had a job since November 2021, but was fired. She owes me money for totalling my car (that's in a whole other post). She has a new job but complains about working her 4 hour shift, and brags about the boss liking her and therefore not having to work when she doesn't want to, which is ever. She says how she's young and she has her adulthood to work and that she'll want to work when she gets the job she wants to do forever. DH and I tell her that working young will help with money, responsibility and develop good work ethics and she might not get her dream job. More and more youth today are finding it harder to enter the work force because older people want or need to work longer. Sge thinks she's just going to skate into a career and make money effortlessly. What I resent the most is her attitude about not wanting to work knowing she has all this money tp pay me, and tge sacrifices I had to make to get my car, etc. My DH is supportive and expects her tp be accountable, responsible but she lives with BM more and BM isn't the best influence in some regards. My friends with teems said they usually turn around 17 and 18 for the better, but teens today (at least IMO) all seem selfish and entitled for a lot longer into their 20s. Good luck and know your entitled to your feelings. Hopefully he grows up and realizes life isn't about owing him anything.
I hope he does see that soon,
I hope he does see that soon,, you wrote that prefectly . I love this site as im not alone out there and it does help me.:)
luckily he's not your child.
luckily he's not your child. I would stop suggesting things to him. if his dad wants him to be a jobless loser, who is unappreciative of the things he has, so be it... it's no reflection of you... no skin off your back... just leave it
That is exactly what i was
That is exactly what i was thinking last night .. why am i so concerened about someone elses issue ? i raised my son , and raised him well,
you are right thank you
it took me a while to fully
it took me a while to fully come to terms with that with my own SD, I wanted so badily for our "blended family" to blend... and I wasnted to be a "mom" figure at our house... but then I realized that it was causing me sooo much anxiety... so I let go... it took a little while to FULLY let go, but when I did... I felt so much better... now I only do things that I want to with SD, and if that is nothing (because she pisses me off, or causes drama) then I don't do ANYTHING, I don't care if SD EVER gets a job, or her license (she's 17.5 now), if she EVER goes to college, if she EVER moves out, if she EVER gets a boyfriend, if she EVER gets any friends (she's lost all her friends due to her narcissitic personality) I find it amusing when things for her just crumble, because of all the hateful things she's done to everyone in the house... she acts as if she's a kind, compassionate, innocent person....but she's just the opposite, she's only friends with people that she's percieves as powerful, to get popular by proxy, she ONLY is kind when she may recieve praise, she's only compassionate, when she wants to spread the news of her most recent compassionate act.... shes racist, ableist, transphobic, as soon as one of her friends (no longer her friend) broke up with her boyfriend, SD jumped at the chance to get with him, but then when she was rejected posted it all over social media about how rejected she felt...when some guy's grandpa died, and he was so sad over it, SD was hitting on him... like girl... now is not the time... no guy has EVER shown SD any interest... EVER... her personality is gross.
her momma OBVIOUSLY raised this one... my daughter's have their license, jobs, one's going away for college to become a doctor, the other got her cosmetology license as soon as she graduated from high school. They both are very ambitious, SD lacks any and all ambition, she took the SAT once and got a low score... then cried about how hard it is and said she's not going to take it again.