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1 of 5 wives/girlfriends, mix or stay home?

wicked step monster's picture

My bf has had a group of friends since he was fifteen, some still have the original girlfriends now their wives. My bf has been married twice before and I am the current one and have been for 2 and bit years. My situation is every time we are invited to his friends parties so are his ex's. Two ex wives and two ex girlfriends are there. They became his friends new friends and have remained that way ever since. I think this is great and the ex's in their own right are all ok people.
The ex girlfriends not the ones he was married to seem still to be all over him though. I feel like I am on show at these parties, his friends have assured me I am the love of his life and he should never had married the two ex's because it wasn't right. My bf tells me he likes to show me off. But sometimes he will leave me sitting so he can mingle and catch up with lots of people and then the ex's all of them know everyone really well and I am left out of conversations mainly the remember whens.
One of his friends ask me one time how do you feel being here when three of his ex's were all standing chatting. I told him I would continue to drink alcohol untill I didn't feel anymore. (I am a party girl) the ex's are not!
So for the last couple of times we have been asked to parties I have made excuses not to go. But I cant do this forever as he is missing out. And I cant tell the hosts its because the ex's will be there either, that would be childlike.
We have had the usual dramas with the most recent ex, she's a cow but really turns on the charm at the parties like there are no hard feelings going on.
I have spoken to my bf about my feelings and he tells me I am beautiful and a real party girl and everyone really likes me, so he cant understand why I cant just go.
So I am interested to hear how you ladies would handle the situation, because my stomach churns as soon as I hear theres a party to go to.

Anne 8102's picture

What's a party?

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

wicked step monster's picture

a party is like birthday party, xmas party, christening, engagement, wedding, get together bar-b-que, catch up for drinks and nibbles, a celebration where you all get together and chat.
You know with kids and grandparents old friends new friends etc etc

wicked step monster's picture

is someone that enjoys themselves and is happy and can hold conversations loves to dance to music is social and enjoys having drinks, laughs a lot and is liked by people in general for being who they are.

Anne 8102's picture

It's been awhile.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Anne 8102's picture

Okay, seriously now, I think you just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. If you don't feel like hanging out with a gaggle of exes, then don't. If you don't mind it, then do. If it's an occasional thing, then maybe you can suck it up once in awhile to let him get his "fix" of the old friends. But if you can't, then you have to talk to him and find a way to compromise. If he loves you and knows it bothers you that much, he should be fine with cutting back. If he's not, then you have a whole other problem...!

Sorry about being sarcastic earlier... we don't get out much. With two full-time kids and three sometimes kids, we just don't have the time, money, energy or even desire to do much socializing.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)