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Forum for Custodial StepMoms

Danibee's picture

I am new here, and when I signed up, I was hoping to find a forum dedicated to the very specific issues related to custodial stepparents, especially stepmoms. I've been looking for resources and support specifically related to being a custodial stepmom since I married my husband when his children were then 2 and 3. As a custodial stepmom, I am in the position of making parenting and more importantly mothering decisions daily for children who already have a mother (although one they only see every few months). I'm sure there are other women out there like me that struggle with the very unique challenges of this situation. I'd love to talk to some.

stepmasochist's picture

I am a custodial SM although the BM is still a big part of the skids lives. It is a different situation than NCP SMs have.

There are several of us on here, scattered about. If you just dive in you'll figure out who's who. There are even quite a few who's BM has very little contact with the skids.

Or if you have a particular issue, post a question in a blog or as a new forum discussion.

Danibee's picture

Thanks for the responses. I'm just looking for a safe place to land, you know? A lot of the issues I have are just that, my issues. Feelings of guilt that I don't love my SKs as much as I love my own daughter. Feelings of sadness that although I'm the one mothering them daily, I come third after Dad and BioMom.

Mainly just the issue of being Mom, but not being Mom, you know?

Danibee's picture

Hi Juju. Sounds like we have similar circumstances. I have SS8 and SD6 who I have known since they were 2 and 3. Biomom (egg donor as I like to call her) sees them once a month. Enough to be involved, but not enough to be meaningfully involved, know what I mean? Smile