Now I find out he feels like I don’t help enough!
Has anybody ever had this kind of bomb dropped on her? After two weekends of family gatherings at my sister’s houses, I found out that DH feels like I never help out with my 5 year old SS. DH thinks I take excellent care of him when it’s just the three of us at home but that anytime we’re somewhere else, I apparently just let DH do all of the work and I go do whatever I want. WAIT A MINUTE!!!
SS is a smart, self-sufficient little guy AND every family gathering involves 20-30 people at somebody’s house and everybody looks out for the little ones. That’s just how my fam is. I also have a wonderful husband who’s an excellent dad but who doesn’t give me a chance to take care of SS’s needs when we’re anywhere else but home. DH hovers and doesn’t give me an opportunity to help get SS’s food from the buffet or to sit next to him and make sure he eats. I always took it as DH getting stressed out about how SS was behaving in front of other people. Turns out, I’ve been the one stressing him out by “not helping.” WTF?! He never told me this until yesterday. Apparently, I was supposed to just step in and do this stuff. News to me!
So, we had a tense couple of hours at our house. I left to take a drive and clear my head. We talked more when I got home—of course, I cried—and got it worked out. We were able to kiss and make up and enjoy a good dinner together.
We both have some work to do. DH says he won’t back off but I’m supposed to step in and make him back off. I don’t agree with it—I think it’s something where we BOTH need to change our behaviors but I’m going to work on my end of things and hope that DH comes around to realize how he’s contributed to the problem, too.