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Why does the ex-wife send little messages or info thru b/f kids to try to get to us????

Shar's picture

Some of the messages or little drops of hints... have been..this is thru SS's.."mom is thinking of buying house in your neighbourhood"..."mom is taking us to councellor tomorrow b/c she thinks we are mentally abused from dad and grandparents.....yet she still seems to send the kids..over..wouldn't you think that if a mother is so concerned about her children being abused that she would stop letting them come over???......more of what the boys say are....mom has b/f paying her $500.00 month on top of the $4200.00 dad gives her a month....mom says dads g/f should buy that for us.....(that's me...the g/f) mom...mom...mom. This is driving me crazy....but I never show that it bugs me...maybe my b/f should stop telling me things........cause I am getting to the point where I just don't want his kids around anymore.....that sounds bad doesn't it...but you know I have had enough of the ex-wife. She has done so much to me and to my kids... I think I am numb....His ex-wife is a bully,very vendictive, says nothing nice about kids dad or me.... and I think maybe she has smoked some brain cells over the years....and she may not be playing with a full deck....

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happy mom's picture

try asking your ss this...."why are you telling us that? see what he says and then ask him "did your mom tell you to tell us that?" then see what he says if yes mom told him to say that to you then call biomom up and tell her to stop using the kid to get her messages through and to call you guys directly. tell your BF to talk to biomom about how it's inappropriate for a child to be hearing/dealing w/this kinds of topics. keep a diary on what is happening in case you go back to court.

-happy mom

Shar's picture

The diary doesn't work..they have already been to court, and its a done deal..judge made fun of BF when he mentioned harassment and parental alienation...but judge did say there should be a third party present and no contact thru BF and BM, but she can't let go..I think she takes enjoyment in taunting and harassing BF.Its funny that she didnt want him when they were married but she doesnt want anyone else to have him either....I think she thought he was her property.....The SSs are 13 and 9 so they know the game, she is playing but they have to live with her, so they are going to act the way she wants them to... As for phoning the BM, can't do that...the bs is unbareable..I have blocked her numbers so she can't call my house, due to swearing, calling all hours of the night..and ridiculous threats she leaves. I have been to police 2 times, and I have told her if she doesnt leave me alone, the next time I go to police I will be laying charges. She is a very bitter woman...My experience for the last 18 months with this woman is to ignore, but she really ticks me off...

happy mom's picture

wow that's shocking that the judge made fun of your bf's complaint...what kind of judge would to that. i guess if ex is unbearable the best thing you can do is to be truthful to your kids questions when they do ask and support and love them no matter what. as they get older they'll know who is the bad guy and the good guy. they'll be more closer to the good ones of course, in that case it's you and your BF so keep up the love and support and be straight w/them. i would continuallly ignore this ex wife and the more you ignore the more she'll be irritated and ruin her own life wasting her time on stupid things. giving her your attention is what she wants...so don't do it. ignore what the kids are saying and if it means stepping in to correct what they have said then do so, so they know the real truth. wish you luck, i know it will irritate you on and on but be strong and ignore as much as you can.

-happy mom