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Do your step-children ever..

cornflower's picture

say that they wish YOU were their Mother, instead?

This hasn’t happened yet, and I hope it never does! But something that happened over the weekend got me thinking about how I would handle this. My step kids could easily be mistaken for my bios. They have both always been quick to point out to strangers that I’m not their Mother if the topic comes up.

However, this weekend we were looking at kittens.. SD9 and DH were patting one when I walked up to the stall they were at. The Sales Lady said to SD9 "Is this your Mum?" and SD9 nodded!!! I was really surprised as she would normally have said, "oh, she’s my step-mum."

I have said to her some time ago, "Sometimes people are going to mistake us and I can’t always be bothered to correct them, after all, WE all know who we are, and that’s the important thing." I’m glad she seems not as uptight about this as she was, and more comfortable with her own identity, but it still felt weird to me and I’m not sure why.


Dawn-Moderator's picture

People always assume that I am stepson's mom. He just goes with the flow. We don't correct people. At 10, he is old enough to know who's who. I don't think he cares. He knows that I do all of the "mother" stuff when he is with us. It does make me just a little uncomfortable because I keep thinking that one of these days he will say the "she's not my mom" thing.

I think that I am starting to see that the older stepson gets, the more he is seeing what I do for him.

I know when he was little, he used to tell us that he wished his mom would have another child so she would let him stay with us. That was before my husband got custody of him.


FlaminMama's picture

When I am out with the kids, they will say stuff like this is my mom, but if both biomom and I are there they will say I have two mom's, the biomom and me. I try to tell them that they don't have to call me anything but my name. I try not to force the "mom" nmae b/c I would hate to hear my daughter call anyone else mom. So my sk's go back and forth with the mom / my name

Sherrylyn's picture

My boys have called me Mom for about 11 years now, & that's how I feel. Just recently there was one time that our youngest didn't like my decision on one thing. Being upset, he said something to the effect of me not being his mom. My husband stopped him dead & corrected him & said that I was the only mom that he has known for years. He was immediatly sorry & apologized. I guess I always knew that someday that line would come out. What was nice was how my husband responded.