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Asolutely Wonderful Thanksgiving! BUT

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Wonderful and so relaxing. Visiting with DH's oldest D and her family was great. No tension, no insults, no Twit crying to DH that someone, anyone, upset her poor feelings and she is being victimized.

I do expect Christmas holiday's to be the same when DD comes down.

THIS is how family should be. I can get use to this again real quick, and I intend to.

Acratopotes's picture

good news SDM..... but I was hoping for some Twit chronicles.... guess I will have to wait till Christmas Wink

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

na, don't have to wait that long. Twit is melting down quickly.

Her middle babie, who isn't quite as dependant on mama because he spent 5 years in the Marines, is going to Germany to ask his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage. The girlfriend has spend a lot of time in the US...in fact, she was a high school exchange student here.

From what DH said, Twit wants the wedding to be in the United States BECAUSE she doesn't want to spend the $$ to go to Germany!!! DH explained to her that the wedding is held in the bride's country, area, etc. so she should plan on going there. Twit just can't understand this...why wouldn't they want to come here for the ceremony etc. DH finaly explained etiquette to her so Twit, typically, stated that they were just going to have to have 2 weddings and she preferred the first one be here!!!

FWIW, when I backed totally out of Twit's antics, she started off on the girlfriend, who I gather from remarks the girlfriend has made to me, isn't particularly fond of Twit but she is her boyfriend's mother.

Gonna be interesting but at least I am getting it 2nd hand from DH and not involved.

IMHO, Twit only wants the wedding here for her own convenience (you don't think she would track over to Germany for the one there do you?). She also wants to throw a pot and pan bridal shown for the young woman. You know, you go to a party and by pots and pans from Twit for the bride-to-be and Twit makes all the money on family. No doubt Twit knows that if the wedding isn't here no one is going to want to go through all that nonsense and no wedding/reception generally means no shower and gifts. Twit loves to make a buck even on the backs of family. As she once told DH, she doesn't give discounts because it IS a business.

Also funny is that Twit just doesn't get that it is the bride and her family that decide who, what, and where. Twit wants to be in charge and the STAR of the nuptials.

Back last summer the young woman confided in me that they were thinking about moving to Germany for a while...they like to travel. Both are college graduates now (she also attended a university here for several semesters as part of an overseas exchange program....happened to be the same university her boyfriend was attending at the same time.

So now she is off of me and on to someone else. As I read this young woman, she will put up with it for only so long and then put her in her place because her husband to be won't.

Gonna be interesting. Glad I am not involved. When Twit doesn't get her way she gets really goofy and dangerous. Won't be surprised if she doesn't try to break them up if things don't go the way Twit wants.

Acratopotes's picture

OH give this young woman all your support, encourage her to move to Germany first, say nothing about a wedding date and then out of the blue simply post the invites Blum 3

notasm3's picture

It's been so horrible for you being the SM to Twit. But I really pity her children. How horrible to have such a mother.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I, too, pity her sons. I don't believe she sees them as the adults they are, which is the problem. I remember once she told me they would always be 9 years old to her. I didn't think much of that at the time until I saw how she always treats them as if they need supervision to do things, they don't do them right, etc. By keeping them dependant on her they never will get anywhere. No wonder the one weights 400+ lbs and the other drinks his life away. The only one that somewhat escaped is the middle one who did 5 years in the Marines.

As for the girlfriend. She has Twit's number. She is a smart, quiet girl who is polite to Twit but keeps her space. When the girl and her boyfriend got their first apartment together, Twit wa all set to go and buy them used furniture etc. The girlfriend put the stop to that although the Marine was all set to let Mama take care of things.

Now Twit wants to run the wedding, or so she told DH. She is ignorant and just doesn't understand that it is the bride's family that does most of the planning, especially since she is from Germany. This is just that Twit wants all the attention of going around bragging to people about how she is doing sooo much setting up a wedding. You see, it isn't about the couple at all, with the exception of Twit wants to sell us all pots and pans at a "pot and pan bridal shower that her company promotes. It is all about Twit....look at her, isn't she great.

I told DH to stay out of it because before it is over there will be strife between the couple and Twit and that is when she will start to play VICTIM. Me? Funny, but now that I know what she is, and her pattern, I can pretty much predict what the outcome will be. She is so predictable.

As for her explosion - Right around Christmas. Son is going to be in Germany with girlfriend and Twit can's stand not being in control, we are not around and she can't get to me. Point being she is not going to be in control. THAT always sets her off. I will be watching to the east for the mushroom cloud to be rising around that time from her area.

notasm3's picture

I'm so glad that at least one of her sons is going to escape.

I have a dear friend who recently got up to almost 400 lbs. She's a woman who is only slightly over 5' tall. She's lost almost 100 lbs but is still morbidly obese. It is so sad. She has become housebound and unable to walk more than 20 feet. She used to work for an airline and traveled all over. Now she lives in a room.

Her spouse enables this - but there is really nothing I can do to change them although I love them both. I've spoken my piece - but to no avail. I do think this is addiction at another level. I've been fat, and I've been thin. My issues with weight gain were psychological not physical.

I've had multiple alcoholics in my life (although not immediate family). Some have conquered the addiction - others have not. It's a hard road.