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Let the Father's Day Shenanigans Begin

JLRB's picture

My husband and I have been married for a little over 2 years, together for almost 5. We each have three adult children, ranging from 26-37.

A week ago, my SD 33 contacted my husband to make plans for Father's Day. She asked about us meeting them for dinner and that she would contact one of her brothers (my husband and his other son have a rocky relationship so we assume he wouldn't be included). My husband agreed and a restaurant was decided on.

He contacted her today to confirm a time for dinner on Saturday and she asked him if he contacted her brother! She was supposed to do that. He just said "typical" to me. His kids screw up Father's Day each year, from either being 2 hours late to a breakfast at our place cooked by my husband, to cancelling dinner plans an hour after they were supposed to be there because the baby was sick. I can see why he doesn't want to make plans with them. They never fail to disappoint.

2Tired4Drama's picture

I really don't understand some of these so-called adults and how they treat their fathers, in particular. You know darn well that they don't treat their precious friends that way. Nor BM.

My SO's daughter mentioned Fathers Day to him a couple of weeks ago but not a peep out of her since then. She always uses the lame excuse that she has to wait to see what her work schedule is. I am quite certain she knew a week ago what days she was working, why didn't she call him then?

Since I am essentially disengaged, I won't say anything. If she makes plans with him, fine. But I've already decided that I'm planning my own activities on Sunday. If he winds up sitting home alone, he can thank his thankless kids.

ETexasMom's picture

That's what DH is doing this year. Last year he drove two hours to their town spent an hour in a resturant with them then an hour visiting at SD's house (all pictures were dh in background looking bored while SDs took selfies) before spending another two hours driving home. Dh said he wasn't spending that much time in the car again so we're cooking out. If they show great, if not even better!!!

JLRB's picture

He honestly could care less about getting together with his kids on Father's Day. It's just that they make feeble attempts to make plans which always fall through. He likes to say "set your sights low so you'll never be disappointed".

hereiam's picture

That's why he should just have them stop by within a certain time period instead of making absolute plans, like meeting at a restaurant or cooking. They want to look like they are making plans but may or may not follow through, so no reason you and your DH should go to any extra trouble.

If they want to see him on that day, they can stop by.

sandye21's picture

Is the reason you are venting due to the fact that the Skids under-rate your intelligence so much? That they are under the misguided impression that you actually believe their lame excuses and B.S.? Like just their regal presence should be enough of a reward for you so you will be overjoyed to wait hours for them to show up? Been there, done that.

sammigirl's picture

I did a surprise BBQ for my DH's BD with friends only; no family. It was great. I did it early, before Father's Day, because we are going to be out of town for Father's Day. If I had planned it and DH knew, it would have been as screwed up as you are saying here; he would have wanted to invite SD and SGD31; they always put a damper on the party with a messed up schedule. These two women would have had to have the time changed or the date changed, it never fails. Not this time. SD56 puts a bit effort into ruining any plans we ever have; SD56 had her own BD/FD BBQ last weekend, because they are also going out of town. I am disengaged from SD, therefore, I didn't attend and everyone was happy.

Try different angles and don't sit around and wait on rude kids. Make your own plans and let them work around "your" plans.

Rags's picture

Unfortunately the "I brought you in to this world and I can take you out!" threat is only an idle one.

My condolences to your DH on his toxic spawn.

sammigirl's picture

This is a good shenanigan; just picked up the mail and SD56 mailed DH a gushy Father's Day card that read "We love you so very much, even though we don't get to see you as much as we would like".

Shenanigan! They live less than one block away (same street), the card was addressed with the wrong address on it (what?); SD or any of SD's family can visit or see DH when they wish. They have been told to stay away from me and leave me alone, but it has been made very clear, they are welcome to DH anytime, anywhere, any place.

OMGosh, I have a very short fuse and it was all I could do to not set that card on fire! ShaeLee, I neither can stand my passive aggressive skids.

Ava64's picture

This is almost exactly as my DH received. Except although they put gushing words, it doesn't say Dad on the front!!!

I am in the same boat .... they can see him anytime but don't include me!

When they ask to have a meal out with him on Fathers Day, he always has to pay for everyone (they make sure they get an expensive steak) although they can afford 2 holidays abroad every year.

Every birthday and Fathers Day he pays for his meal with them, and always has done. One year he joked are you treating me - they decided to just have a coffee in their house!

My Dh dreads occasions as it just becomes stressed and emphasises what a mess the family has become.

sandye21's picture

This is the same thing SD and her Husband used to do when I wasn't disengaged. We paid for everything - they ordered the most expensive ting on the menu and wouldn't even leave the tip. If I had this to do over again I would have asked for separate checks. They also travel extensively and make quite a bit more than DH. DH has never received a call or a card for Father's Day or his birthday - ever.

thinkthrice's picture

Don't forget the many social media posts that praise "single mom" and how she is "both mom and dad" (TM) coming from extremely PASed out children. :sick: