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Pathetic SDs rant

cmwolfe1264's picture

I need to rant and I know that some of you will understand my annoyance. One of my sisters passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. My 2 stepsons texted me to tell me how they were as did my 2 DILs. I know for a fact that my DH called and told his daughters. I am friends with one SD's significant other on FB and I posted something about losing my sister so he most likely knows about it from there too and told SD. I have not heard one peep from either SDs. I know we are not friends but I would think they would have some decency to say something. I know, I know, why would I think the disgusting, lying, mean, selfish, psychotic biotches would actually do something normal by sending me condolences. Who am I kidding. They just prove again what disgusting human beings they really are. At least I don't have to worry about the ex-wife emailing me to tell me how sorry she is that I'm now an orphan. She did that when my Dad died in 2002, after my Mom passed in 2000. I'm the youngest in a family of 6 kids, I'm definitely not orphaned and it was a shitty ass thing to say to me!! Anyway, I just wanted to rant to someone who would understand.......

notsobad's picture

So sorry for your loss.
sending you big hugs, love and light!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I'm sorry you lost your sister. You're grieving and feeling raw, so even though you know they suck, it still hurts.

Use this. Learn from it. It's times like this that show who matters, and who doesn't.

During my marriage, my skids and in laws have been though many crises: Deaths, illnesses, financial problems, etc. I always tried to be helpful and compassionate. In over 20 years I've had exactly one crisis, the death of my mother. And their behavior during that dark time is a big measuring rod I use to guide me in my disengagement.

Don't waste your energy on individuals who don't care about you.

sandye21's picture

Sorry about your Sister. My Sister died last year. Did not receive anything from my SD either but was glad I didn't. I wouldn't want to guess what SD's motives were. DH's ex-wife was so cruel. Thank goodness you no longer email with her. (((HUGS)))

robin333's picture

I'm so sorry about your sister. Don't waste any time thinking about SD'S. They're inconsiderate and not worthy of any stress on you.

Wishing people were decent and thoughtful doesn't make it so. Don't take it as a slight- it's their character shortcoming. Hugs.

Disillusioned's picture

So sorry for your loss

My brother died recently too, and believe me I understand how you feel, my OSD did the same thing by not so much as a word of condolence

Like you I didn't expect it, but still it amazes me how people can be so terrible, especially when they have no reason to behave like that

My DH called her and told her and she said something to him nonchalantly about passing on her condolences, but never said a word to me

My DH actually called her a second time as he was so disgusted and suggested it would be a kind thing for her to call me or at least send a text - she knew my brother well and he had been good to her - but still she ignored

It's easy for others to say let it go she has shown you what she is, and that is good advice you should follow, but it still is very hard to do

notasm3's picture

I am so sorry for your loss. Your SD deserves a place in hell. Write her ass off and never acknowledge her existence again.

My SS30 was complicit with the horrible BM in not telling DH about the older SS's death and funeral. If something happens to DH I would NOT notify SS. He could read about it in the paper.

sammigirl's picture

I am very sorry for your loss of your sister. There are no words for the grief and deep sorrow.

You stated you are not friends with you SDs. That's one more confirmation that you need to stay disengaged from them. I would rather never hear from my SD, then to have to be in her presence. My SD has never had any concern for anyone, but herself.

When people are so self centered, they have no feelings for anyone at all, they are pathetic. Treat them like any other person that shows you no respect; put aside the fact that they are your SDs, just disown any connection.

I am sad for your loss. I understand deeply. (((hugs)))

Amcc13's picture

Sorry for your loss. There is a special place in hell for their behaviour
Focus on yourself and taking care of yourself
Try to give them no more head space while you grieve

TwirlMS's picture

All of your FB friends should be filling your page with condolences. Related or not.

The anonymous women on here can at least give you some.

My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.

JLRB's picture

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister, cmwolfe1264. My father died unexpectedly last year at 72. My husband let his 3 adult kids know. My 33 year old SD told him to pass on her condolences. He suggested she call me to do that herself. I never received a phone call or text. She did send a fruit arrangement to the house about one week later, but I'm sure that was just to appease Daddy. My grandmother died last year as well. She did text me her condolences that time. She never attended either service even though they were local.

My husband likes to say, "set your sights low so you'll never be disappointed".

AlreadyGone's picture

I'm very sorry for your loss. Maybe it would help if you looked at this from a different perspective. Do you really want to listen to their 'less than sincere' condolences? Take comfort that during this tragic time, you don't have to deal with them, at all! Smile

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

I am so sorry to hear about your sister.

Your SD's are mean and cruel - they do not deserve any kindness from you going forward. Please remember this.

cmwolfe1264's picture

Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. You all are absolutely correct about the SDs and I haven't given them any more time in my thoughts and feelings since I wrote this yesterday. However, it did feel good to "tell someone" who can relate about their bad behavior. Thank you for listening and encouraging me to keep up the distance with them in my life. I have been blessed with several wonderful grandchildren from my DH's sons, they bring me so much joy and far outweigh the negativity of the 2 adult SDs (most days!) so I am very fortunate to be in a good place overall with my stepkids.

grace8205's picture

Could not imagine my life without my sister, I am so sorry for your loss.
I really don't understand how your SDs can be so insensitive. I am glad to hear that you are able to focus on the love of your grandchildren and shut out the SDs.

A couple of years ago my father went into hospice for a few weeks and then passed away. My adult skid who lived with us never said a word, never asked me about him and never offered any condolences. The only thing he would ask me is "when is supper" and DH pretended not to notice a thing and said nothing to his son.