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Second time backing out of agreement?

fifi709's picture

So if any of you guys have been following any of my frequent posts you know that my DH is currently going through a custody battle. DH and BM just had a meeting last Wednesday set up by our attorney, and they actually came to an agreement. BM has predictably backed out now. This is the second time she's backed out. It will be three times once mediation has been completed. Has this ever happened to anyone else before? How do you think the court will see it? Also, for those of who answered to my last posting about BM suddenly being nice, you were spot on! The bitch demanded to meet me Sunday night at 8:30 while I was in my pajamas and freaked out when the answer was no.

tiny kitten's picture

I agree, probably time for a judge. And guess what, OP? Her backing out repeatedly of an agreement is most likely going to make her look pretty damn bad to a judge.

Rags's picture

Oh yes. The Sperm Clan played the back out of it game. They were the ones that initiated a custody action against my bride when she was 18 and a low income college student single teen mom living out of state away from family. Their tactic was to try to destroy her financially and force her to give up custody. Each time she would fly home to participate in the scheduled hearings the day before as late in the day as possible they would cancel the hearing for some reason and reschedule it. They did this about different times.

Over the few days before we finally got to court the week after we married they offered to drop the custody element of the case in lieu of 26weeks of visitation. She rejected the offer and countered with 9 weeks of visitation. They refused and countered with 20 weeks. It went back and forth several times until they stuck on 15weeks. DW never budged from her 9wk offer. We ended up in court the next day though that time the Judge attempted to postpone due to a murder trial he wanted in his court. Our attorney did point out that this would be the half dozenth or so time the hearing would be canceled and gave him the invoices for the plane tickets my wife had purchased to attend the previously canceled hearings. The Judge grudgingly agreed and that hearing went forward as scheduled.

We attempted to have their previous manipulations entered into the record as well as their attempts at manipulating my wife into giving them effectively joint custody. The Judge clearly stated that no previous discussions could be brought forward and that that hearing would stand on its own.

In our case the Sperm Clan did drop their full custody attempt and changed to an attempt at joint. The Judge upheld my brides full legal and physical custody and awarded the Sperm Idiot 7wks of visitation. As we walked out of the court room at the end of that very long day their attorney approached her and said "My clients would like to accept your offer of 9wks of visitation". My wife laughed in his face and said, "Tell your clients to read the Court Order. They get 7wks. Nice try and too late."

There is no way of telling how your Judge will rule on accepting BM's repeated reneging on prior agreements but I would suggest attempting to bring those to the courts attention. If the Judge accepts them or not the Judge will be aware of her history which can't hurt your cause. IMHO of course.

Good luck.

Rags's picture

Time for a Judge. Her history of backing out of agreements may or may not make a difference in front of the Judge.

In our case prior agreements were not admissible to the Judge though we did not go through official mediation. The Sperm Clan played games with prior agreements so ultimately we got even more than what we had previously agreed to. After we finally got to court the first time the judge ruled heavily in our favor and as we were walking out of the court room the Sperm Idiot and his attorney approached my DW and our attorney. The Sperm Clan attorney said "My client will accept the offer you made yesterday." My wife laughed in his face and said "You heard the judge. Tell your client that he had better not so much as twitch out of alignment with the CO or I will shred his ass in court again." and walked away laughing.

Each time we ended up back in court it came out the same way. The Sperm Clan got their asses handed to them by the Judge.

Good luck.

momandmore's picture

We are going through something similar now. We actually went to court for a hearing, the judge continued the previous hearing BC he wanted me there to testify, I wasn't there that time.
So we went to court and by then BMs atty knew my testimony and proof would sabotage her. The attorneys agreed to settle it by agreement. 5 months later.. Here we are with nothing resolved. BM has backed out multiple times and she was the one to start the process.
My attorney said we will go in front of a judge, that will be the next step for us.
I imagine it would be the same in your situation. If mediation fails, the judge decides.

Rags's picture

An attorney can't settle anything unless the client approves it. When you have the toxic blended family opposition dead to rights you never back off until you have them curled up on the floor sucking their thumbs wallowing in their own mess whimpering and drooling. And any time they so much as twitch you beat them some more.

This was the only thing that allowed us to minimize the toxic impact of the Sperm Clan on my Skid and our family for the 17+ years of CO.

Quit letting your attorney lead you and DH around by your noses. Tell the attorney what you want, what they will do, and when they will do it and if the attorney does anything but outline how they will deliver what you instruct them to deliver find an attorney that is worth a damn.

My wife screwed around with the first cut rate attorney for far too long before I fired her and we found our ass kicking no bullshit shark attorney. We went to winning soundly to laying waste to the opposition while sending a very clear message that they had only one choice. Follow the CO and do exactly what we told them to do when we told them to do it our get ready for total legal, social, financial, employment, and spiritual annihilation. When they forced our hand we made sure that their asses were bared so thoroughly that every aspect of their lives was put under the spotlight to their employers, community, the courts, law enforcement, and their fellow church members.

They learned to STFU and tow the line. The key was moving from a "we have to work this out with them" attorney to a "they will get in line or I will destroy them" bulldog attorney. And ... he is about the nicest guy you could ever meet. You just don't want to be on the opposite side of the courtroom from him.