You are here

Birds are Starting to Roost for Twit - Not only from Me and DH but from Others as Well

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

DH got a Happy New Year call from Twit just a bit ago. Well, not so much wishing him Happy New Year but moaning about her BM. Oh woe is her.

Seems the BM came up this way on her way to visit friends and didn't bother to stop by and visit with Twit and Twit is just livid and bad mouthing (DH says) the woman. Note we are back to the old poor Twit, everyone is so mean to her that she needs attention routine. Guess the BM drove right by this area and, even though Twit supposedly invited her to stop by, the BM declined Twit's invitation. [Can we say the birds are coming home to roost and people are getting totally turned off by crazy Twit?]

DH, who hasn't had anything to do with his ex for years, told her there is nothing he can do about it. He mentioned to her that all that bad mouthing she does about the BM probably gets back to her as Twit bad mouths her to the crazy Aunt (BM's sister).

Me, I have a pretty good idea why the BM avoids Twit. I am certain she treats her just like she treats DH and I, that is just how Twit is. I can't blame the BM from staying away from Twit. FWIW, Twit is always bad mouthing her, she use to do it to me about the BM. Then one day I stopped it by asking her if she talked about me to her like that. Boy you should have seen the shocked look on Twit's face, but she didn't deny it. {And Twit use to bad mouth the crazy Aunt to us as well until I stopped her}

Gotta hand it to DH. He told her that she has bridges to mend with BM. Twit apparently told him she didn't owe the BM an apology, the BM owned HER an apology [gee, does that sound familiar]. DH told her that she needs to fix things because one day the BM is going to pass on and her opportunity will be over and she will regret it.

He says he is hoping she takes his advice but doubts she will. Me? I just listened to what he told me and didn't say a word.

As I say, Twit wants family around but only to beat on. She is getting desperate because we all are moving on from her, so to speak. Psycho's like Twit will never, ever get it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Post this because writing it helps me sort out just what a nut case I have to deal with. As I have said, she is flat out scary. The more I read up on narcissism and border line, the more I see the pattern in Twit behavior and actions.

I am very, very careful never to use those terms when DH is talking about her. That would not be a smart thing to do.

Stormyweather's picture

Just a question...why are you reluctant to share your thoughts with your DH about Twit being NBPD?

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Because I have disengaged with talking about Twit to him unless he brings something up to me.

Most people here, including me, will tell you that calling DH's adult daughter a mental case, etc. is not going to set well with him and bound to start trouble.

We have been thru counseling over Twit....I know what she is, he knows what she is. No need to beat him over the head with it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I most certainly am. I am certain DH is still going to do some swaying back and forth, but so far so good. I think he would like things to be different between the Twit and us, but reality is setting in more and more. That has to be hard for him.

godess-clueless's picture

Notasm, My dh is cooking the same thing this morning. He's a southern beans, cornbread and greens guy. I have learned to enjoy them but never as much as him. Happy New Year to you!

ctnmom's picture

People like the Twit end up with very few friends and relatives willing to stomach them. As I get older I realize people always make their own bed, and the chickens always come home to roost, for all of us good or bad. Edit: GO NOLES!!!!!! }:) Biggrin Wink Blum 3 Dirol

sandye21's picture

"Gotta hand it to DH. He told her that she has bridges to mend with BM. Twit apparently told him she didn't owe the BM an apology, the BM owned HER an apology [gee, does that sound familiar]. DH told her that she needs to fix things because one day the BM is going to pass on and her opportunity will be over and she will regret it."

What a change from a year ago, huh? At least DH is on to her now. I wonder what she says to BM about your DH since he isn't 'cooperating' anymore. BM owes her an apology now? Since you've taken yourself out of the equation there has to be a replacement. Right?

So she's back on the "poor me" bus. Does this remind you of the movie 'Groundhog Day'?

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yep Sandye - Who would have thought. This Twit stuff with her BM is not new, she is always claiming to be on outs, the BM won't take her calls, etc. I don't have to wonder why do I. According to Twit it is never Twit's fault (haven't we heard that before?).

Now Twitie is crying because BM has come up here on the way to visit her friends and doesn't have time to stop and put up with Twit nonsense...boo hoo hoo. Me, I say go BM, go and stay away from her.

DH is totally peeved with her always carping about how the BM is [supposedly] always calling her and asking for $$. But he is making the connection that when Twit brings this stuff up it is because she wants pity...poor put upon Twit....or she needs a diversion from something nasty she did to him/me.

Outside the always looking for pity, sympathy, poor Twit, she is also at the same time bragging about how much $$ her husband makes etc. A look at how great she is that BM is always coming to her looking for $$. DH even told her one time this summer to just tell her no and not let it bother her, but Twitie needs the attention she gets or use to get. Being the victim is how she gets her fix from DH. Being cruel and nasty to me is how she gets her fix from me.

Sandye - one thing I don't understand about Twit....she actually brags about how mean and nasty she is to others. There have been many a time I have been shocked by what she seems to consider okay in what she does to others. In my reading it tends to say that narcisissts HIDE what they do because they don't want others to know what they did etc. Twit brags. Even when she danced in my driveway and was proud she was never normal...that, too, doesn't seem to fit as they say narcisissts hide what they are --- the two faces. That has me scratching my head or am I just missing something?

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

My Mother, bless her, raised me not to gossip and not to tell stories about others. She always said that people that did that got their just comings even though it might take a while.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, and now that Twit's husband's father has passed on, no one invites the Twit for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. My take is that they were all nice to her when their Father was alive in keeping the family together for him. Now that he is gone, they have their own families to attend to and Twit is not some one they have a lot of time for.

I mean, would you if she invited you over and then left to go have a pot and pan party etc. People notice this. they may not have said anything, but they notice. Could you just imagine what they would have thought, felt, if Twit jumped up in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner and announced she was going shopping?

I am thinking she pulls this carp on DH and I because she, up to this point, has been pretty secure in that he wouldn't do anything about her antics, she does not care what I feel.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Could I be starting to win against Twit??? Other than those short calls on Christmas Day and New Years (where Twit cried that her BM wasn't going to stop off and see her), we have heard NOTHING from her!

I write this only because, well, I am some what in shock that she has left us alone for so long. Could we be having a breakthrough? Has she finally gotten the message?

I didn't bother with any of them for Christmas, never bought any gifts. Never even sent a card...after the Twit fiasco about Mother's Day. Figured if DH wanted to wish her Merry Christmas it was his problem not mine.

She is the one that called DH on Christmas morning. And she is the one that called him on New Years. Seems no one from this house seems to want much to do with her. But you know, someone is gotta be feeding her ego fix, she needs to feed off someone because that is how her kind operate. Someone just has to be putting up with her carp, taking it, being belittled so she can feel smug and superior - better than everyone. I kind of wonder who, but then just get happy that it is not me, it is not us.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

And if she is waiting for DH to get me to apologize to her for something I never did, so SHE can feel that she is above all, she is going to be waiting for a long time. Even DH says I owe her no apology for anything. AND, in the last few months he has made that clear to her.

I don't know, something is off. I have been under attack for so long from her I just don't know what to expect right now.