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Is this normal?

JustAgirl42's picture

My SD10 wants a pair of sneakers that cost $80. FDH is ready to buy them for her and they haven't even looked elsewhere or tried anything else on.

He says it's the same as buying her cheaper pairs more often (that the expensive ones would last longer). It seems to me that all her sneakers, that have been different prices, have only lasted a few months.

What do you guys think (unless you're rolling in it Wink ) ?

SecondGeneration's picture

Personally I think 80$ is too much unless SD is actually putting something towards it.
Sure if she has pocket money or whatever and wants to put that towards something specific then fine, but otherwise Id be saying anything over 40-50$ is excessive for sneakers for a 10 year old. Particularly if past history is short life span!

Newstep's picture

Way to much money for shoes in my opinion. Especially since she will probably outgrow them before they wear out.

JustAgirl42's picture

No shit that it's not up to me, but if I were helping to pay for them, it sure as hell would be.

SMof2Girls's picture

But are you helping to pay for them? Your OP just said DH is all set to get them ..

fedupstep's picture

I think that's too much...her feet are still growing. If she has birthday money have her put some toward it. The earlier they learn to use their own money for things the better.

Poodle's picture

I would not sweat over this unless it is eating into your household budget. I don't know anything about these particular shoes and whether they are really better than the run-of-the-mill type but when I can afford it I always buy my kids the absolute best quality shoes because anything less is a false economy. Recently my DH for the first time bought my younger son the cheapest possible school shoes (he has always thought I was extravagant) and the sole was coming off them after a month. After that he bowed to my high standards!

Disneyfan's picture

I think it's normal.

As long as he isn't expecting you to foot the bill, it shouldn't matter. I never allowed a SO to have a say in how much I spent on my son. My money, my kid my choice.

JustAgirl42's picture

Thanks everyone.

I just couldn't believe that anyone was paying this much for a pair of sneakers for a kid!

JustAgirl42's picture

Actually, yes, we do. Thanks for the suggestion!

Although, since I'm just the 'stepmother', I don't really have any say in the matter. Sad

JustAgirl42's picture

This type of thing would definitely be a good teaching opportunity. Unfortunately, he just recently started teaching her how to do things that would be considered normal chores, and she needs the sneakers now.

Luckily, I think she may have found some that are about $50, so at least that's not too over the top. But, for the next expensive item I think she should learn to earn some money and contribute towards it.

Orange County Ca's picture

My step-kids were required to pay anything over what it would have cost at Target if purchased somewhere else or a overpriced brand name even at Target. It was more to help them learn the value of a dollar then anything else. You can bet the items were never found on the bedroom floor if they were even purchased as most of the time they didn't have the money.

JustAgirl42's picture

This is a very reasonable idea and I'll be cautiously mentioning it to somewhat of a 'disney' dad.

rahrah2019's picture

Not all people split their money into his/hers. My husband and I don't; and therefore, we consult with each other on almost all purchases outside of normal household expenses. We each get an "allowance" and he chose to spend $150 on SS for some shoes the week before Christmas last year. I raised kids, so it's not like I'd be treating him any differently than my own when I would have made them into a Christmas gift, or not purchased them. SS has zero appreciation for anything, and within three or four months was asking for a pair of $250 shoes. You have to draw the line somewhere, and it depends on YOUR budget or money situation. Personally, I think $50 is reasonable for kids' shoes.

When BM brought it to DH's attentions that SS was now wanting the $250 shoes, DH said how bad he felt because other kids probably have them and his poor son is going without. I'm thinking..... your son lives in one of the poorest communities in the state. If anything, he's the one making everyone else feel bad since he's probably the only one who gets most of the things he does.

I'm probably in the minority, but I believe not giving your children everything they want teaches them more about life, and gives them some humility. Every one of my children has said a variation of these words to me as adults, "Mom, you did a great job. I know it was hard, but I wouldn't change a thing. We had a great childhood."

MamaFox's picture

My mom NEVER bought me "nice" shoes until my feet stopped growing. I got ballet flats and sneakers from walmart until I was old enough to buy myself nicer shoes. They were serviceable and worked just fine. And then with my first paycheck I went out and bought myself a pair of $300 boots (that I STILL wear), and learned to take extra good care of them (Italian Leather yes please!) and they have lasted me over 10 years at this point.

So yeah, $80 is overly expensive for sneakers for a ten year old.

JustAgirl42's picture

Hehe, I did a similar thing. My parents never bought me a lot of really nice clothes, etc., so when I got my first paycheck I went and bought a $200 leather jacket that I still have today!

MamaFox's picture

Oh Girl you should see my biker jackets, leather blazers and wool peacoats....I have a borderline fetish for Red/Purple/Fuschia jackets. And I look SMOKING hot in black skinny jeans and red biker jackets.

JustAgirl42's picture

Well you definitely sound like a MamaFox! Wink

Not sure I'd be able to pull off that look since I'm a little more on the conservative side, though it might be fun to try sometime!

All of the sudden Olivia Newton John popped into my head. Probably cause she went from conservative to sexy!