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Foiled Once Again!

Disillusioned's picture

So further to yesterday's post about DH's eldest daughter inserting herself into the dinner plans with our good friend, I think DH's daughter is finally starting to see that not much that she does fazes me anymore, she doesn't have the power to have me walking on eggshells around her or kissing her butt like she was used to for so many years

She arrived separately and early with SGS, walks into our home and neither of us acknowledge the other as per the usual drill. She had also clearly coached little SGS as the first thing he says to DH is "my mommy told me (insert our friend's name here) used to work with Grandpa but now he works with daddy" small thing but no mention that this friend also worked with Grandma of course. Then DH's daughter pipes up and says how SGS was just so excited to be coming to GRANDPA'S house, couldn't wait to see GRANDPA etc.. etc...

DH finally speaks up and says that well, he knows that SGS must certainly be excited about seeing Grandma too, but from that point on, I'm happy to say that little SGS didn't leave Grandma's side Dirol if I sat on the couch he had to sit with me, if I was in the kitchen he was there 'helping' it was constant "Grandma can we play hide and seek?" "Grandma can we go see the cat" "Grandma I love Starfishes, I'm going to make you a Starfish" "I'm sitting with Grandma at dinner" I actually couldn't even go to the washroom without SGS running after me. DH's daughter told him to just stay, I would be back, but apparently he kept calling for me the whole time I was there Biggrin

At one point when I walked into the living room where DH and his daughter were sitting, DH says to me to guess what his daughter just said to him, and then tells me that she said SGS just loves me so much. I thought ya right, I bet she said that, but right after DH says this his daughter pipes up and say to him that she doesn't know what's wrong with this boy, he's turned into a little stalker when it comes to Grandma Disillusioned

Of course the first opportunity DH gets to talk to me later that evening he does the old "see, I know you don't like my daughter but see, even she is saying that SGS is obsessed with you" what I should have said to DH was "of COURSE she's saying that now, even she knows that if she keeps up the old SGS sooo loves GRANDPA thing, wants to see GRANDPA'S HOUSE, wants to sit BESIDE GRANDPA BS, everyone including herself will know she's clearing and openly been attempting to alienate SGS from me because all of SGS's actions are showing that in fact it's GRANDMA he's excited to see, GRANDMA who he wants to sit beside, GRANDMA is who he is clearly taken with. DH's eldest simply cant keep up the BS when SGS keeps showing her up

Anyway, on top of that, when our friend arrived DH's daughter goes running to the door with SGS to greet him. She's laughing and carrying on like they are the best of friends :? so after a few minutes I go to the front entrance. Our friend turns around at the same time I walked up, says "wow you are so beautiful" I say come off it I'm much older than the last time you saw me, he says you look great, I say you look great, we start talking about everything and everyone we know....just one of those good long time friends who you can go years without talking to and then just pick just as if you spoke yesterday. A long while had passed before I started feeling like perhaps I was being rude by not trying to include SSIL and DH's daughter in the conversation, but then I thought, oh well, and carried on

Our friend made such a big fuss about how great the dinner was (which only emphasizes for me that DH's daughter absolutely never does) and a big fuss about how great he feels I am with SGS (again only to show how much DH's daughter literately never mentions any of that) and so on

DH's daughter did not look happy and I could care less

The strange thing was, by the end of the evening she started to seemingly warm up to me. When she left she even said "thanks guys" rather than the usual thanks DAD.

I really think she may have started to realize that I'm perfectly happy and enjoying my life despite all her nonsense, and the more she holds on to it and continues to play games, the more everyone sees she just has a problem and it only makes HER look bad, not me as is her intent.

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

Dejavu. Have you been living inside my body? Had to bust out SD13 for running to me for hugs when daddy entered a room and being a sassy little bitch behind his back. Told her she could have hugs any time, but NOT when she was using it as an act for daddy. Ouch. Tried to kiss butt initially. Did it all for naught. Still fair but no longer a door mat and just not "interested" in her circus. Now I enjoy the simple pleasures like you mentioned above.

Disillusioned's picture

Ya that's the worst Not the Brady Bunch, when they can turn it on for our DH's to make it appear that we are the ones with the problem, when all along it's them and only them

Disillusioned's picture

Don't really think trying too hard had anything much with being a threat to her StepAside. No matter what I would have been a threat, when you're dealing with a thwarted mini-wife that is

I agree with punkin_punkin not to hold my breath for this one Biggrin

DH's eldest is intent on trying to make me look bad, she has always been a manipulator at the game of setting people up to look bad. Has done this with BM's SO, with BM's sister, with FIL's good friends, with me, and with my sister. Sometimes she wins and the poor innocents out like her SF have been forced to apologize to her for made up things and sometimes she loses like with FIL's good friends who called her out on her crap and refuse to be at any events with DH's family that his daughter is at

And sometimes, she just loses because people get fed up with playing her games and ignore her like she doesn't exist anymore (me!)

I do agree with you the that the "dad" thing gets old and hopefully she is beginning to get it, I know she does that deliberately, but then again she sometimes likes to include me in front of DH on occasion, just so he will think she is in fact being good and making an effort :sick:

Yes silly that she went to the door, but silly she even invited herself along to our dinner and tried to dictate everything to revolve around her too. Silly she has continually tried to alienate SGS against me when at the end of the day, hopefully she is smart enough to get that she is just letting her true colours show to the world

Disillusioned's picture

I agree with you catlettuce, and it really made me angry when DH felt the need to say that to me :sick: he knows his daughter's history and what's she been like and yet any opportunity he can find to point out that she was "just great, excellent" as he said to me later is total BS

It's almost like he was trying to convince me and himself I'm sure, that I have the problem and not her. After all the crap she's done - including to DH directly - I can't believe he would go there with me

You're right that it's this little fantasy DH has that everything is in fact just fine, and I must be over sensitive or looking for problems when there are none. Grrrrrr!!