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Is there anyone on here Who has left a Step Family?

amber3902's picture

Just curious, are there any posters on here who have left a step family situation?

amber3902's picture

Yep. I've heard the same thing from other women, they think adult children would be less stressful, but are just as bad.

amber3902's picture

It seems while there are a lot of women on here who are currently in step family situations, there aren't a lot who have left a step family situation.

I notice every once in a while someone posts that they are leaving their husband due to step kid/BM issues, but they never stay around to post once they leave their husband.

While it is good to hear from others who are currently experiencing what you're going through, seems like it would be good to hear from others who got and can give their perspective on what life is like outside the sh$tstorm.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I agree- the thing is, you kind of don't feel such a need to come here all the time anymore once you left the situation.I still come though - read below my story in a nutshell.

bearcub25's picture

Post on the forum. There are some that have left and still post, but I know if I was out of the step family, I wouldn't come here and relive the hell.

amber3902's picture

I understand not wanting to relive the step family hell. I guess for me I thought it would be nice to hear from someone who has BTDT but is so much happier now that she's not in it anymore.

Maybe that was wishful thinking on my part. I always try to help out, but not give advice on things I don't know anything about.

It seems like if you currently are not a step parent, then your advice is of no value on here. I guess it's time for me to move on, then. Seems like only step parents, and only ones that are miserable in their current situation are allowed to post on here.

sbm014's picture

I left one step situation and ended up in another. I was in one with a awesome BM (yes I said awesome) and a shitty DH not because he was a disney dad he just wasn't a good guy and just was a jerk to say the least.

Now I am in one with a wonderful DH and a batshit crazy BM ><

MamaDuck's picture

This is my first 'step/blended family' myself, but I have been the BM for nearly 6 years, my kids have a SM, step brother and half sister. SM and I.. well, our personalities clash, so after a couple of altercations early on, (nothing serious) she disengaged, after that, there weren't really any major issues, I stayed out of their business and my ex and I have co-parented without lawyers and CO's.

When I met SO, I thought I was prepared to deal with his kid and the mother... lord was I wrong wrong wrong!! BM is my FIRST experience with personality disorders! I've never known anything like it! IF this r/s doesn't work out, I will most certainly be EXTREMELY cautious going into another 'step' situation!!

amber3902's picture

Yeah, after I broke up with BF, I was extremely cautious when dating a man with kids. I dated one guy who did not have kids, BUT he had a granddaughter that I could see he spoiled. Now, that wasn't a big deal until he told me his daughter and spoiled little granddaughter were going to be moving in with him! I stopped seeing him after that. Blum 3

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I did!! And I still come here to remind me how lucky I am now and try to help by sharing my situation- however not as much as I came here , when I was still a part of step family hell!!
I left SO 3 month ago after nearly 3 years , 1 1/2 of them living together. I have three kids (10, 14, 17) and he had "only" one "Ex-SD 8".
I had the whole lot, the Disney dad, the manipulating spoiled princess -mini-wife, the sick feeling in my stomach before she came over....all the dramas.After he did make quite clear he wasn't interested in coming to councelling with me, I went by myself and learned a lot, eg that he was after all not what I was looking for . He wore rose tinted glasses with his kid and whenever there were conflicts he either brushed them off or threw me under the bus for her, that perfect princess who coyuldn't do anything wrong- never.
Plus he was living o his credit cards, had no proper jobs and never faced any of his several problems.
To summarize it all- it was a tough but great decision.The relief not having to deal with someone elses kid anymore has been priceless.Yes, I missed SO and of course all the good memories came back, but coming back here and going to the councellor helped me to stay strong.My life has been quickly turned to the better and I have even started dating a guy (no little kids!!!!hehe), an overseas trip has been lined up and my kids are happier than ever.

amber3902's picture

I know how you feel - it was tough decision but the right one.

I'm dating a guy now myself that has NO kids and it is so much better. So glad things turned out good for you!

AlreadyGone's picture

I left stepHell a little over a year ago, and I still come here to read and post when I feel like adding my 2 cents, LOL. Heck, I still blog here occasionally.

The way I see it is this.... we all have some experience, story, etc. to share and we all have something to learn. That sharing/learning doesn't stop just b/c you're no longer in the steplife situation. For me, this is like AA if I was a recovering alcoholic. I'm not drinking but.... KWIM? Same difference. My stepHell ended but, I'm still dealing with the aftermath and probably will be for a while longer. Simply walking out that door doesn't fix what's been broken. Plus, all of you keep me honest and keep me from picking up that phone on my weaker days. BTW, thanks for that ladies and gents!! Smile

I won't be run off by some member who thinks I have no value, simply b/c I am no longer a SM. I earned those scars and lived to tell the tale. Besides, I just look at those narrow minded members as somebody's unruly SK.... (all grown up), LMAO!

Blondylady's picture

I have nearly left several times when I was made to feel alienated or unimportant in my own house on weekends. It still occurs at times but not as often. Communicating your feelings is really important even if you come across as super bitch! Smile