Thats funny because my SD16 says her mother is so lazy. Meanwhile SD is the laziest one of them all!!

I'm thinking that the attitude a general attitude of teenagers these days. Granted, it is the parents' responsibility to put their foot down and make their kids pick up after themselves. In my 22 years of being a parent, I've seen too many that coddle their kids...clean their room for them, etc. Not me...once my kids were old enough to clean their rooms, they cleaned them by themselves. If they didn't, I would come in and clean it my way, which meant that trash bags and trips to Goodwill would be involved! Of course, when my kids were little, I also made it a ritual...late October/early November, I would make them go through their stuff...I would explain that there were kids out there who's moms and dads had very little money, and if they had toys they didn't play with any more, they should give them up so that those kids could have something. I would remind them that Christmas was right around the corner, and they would be getting new stuff, anyway. This process usually kept the amount of stuff they had trimmed down and manageable, as both of them would always come out of their rooms with a box of toys they didn't play with and clothes they didn't wear. Of course, I would make the final approval of what they could get rid of, but they usually did a good job. My kids are now 18 and 22, and are pretty giving people...one of my daughter's co-workers' husband was laid off, so my daughter would take the girl out to lunch every day...the lady would keep trying to pay my daughter back, but she wouldn't let her.

I also expected my kids to help with age-appropriate chores, and when they were old enough, they started washing their own clothes (hey, I was working full time...I didn't have the time or the energy to dig through every nook and cranny in their rooms to pull out socks and what not...not my responsibility if you shove your dirty socks into your toy box instead of the hamper I provide for you). They have been washing their own clothes since about the age of 9, so if they didn't have anything clean, they didn't have anyone to gripe at. We had designated days...Sat and Sun were my days, and the kids did their clothes when they got home from school or whatever on the week days.

Now, my SD...she has been one of those that was coddled! BM would always clean her room for her. Even at our house...there have been multiple times that DH called over his mom or sister to help clean my SD's room, and one time he called over one of our friends to help (one of those times being just last year...the girl was 13, but DH claimed her room was just too overwhelming for her to clean by herself). Ask her to do one chore, and she suddenly feels like the maid ("Why do I have to wash YOUR dishes?"..."Because I work all day AND I cooked the stinkin' meal!"). Tell her to wash her clothes, especially if I point out that she hasn't washed her sheets in over a month, and it is a big ordeal! Rinse off YOUR OWN plate and put it in the dishwasher (which is the rule here...everyone polices their own dishes), and that is such a chore...oh, and god forbid if the dishwasher happens to be full of clean dishes that need to be put away (rule also is, if you need to put something in the dishwasher, and it is full with clean dishes, you put them away instead of just leaving your dirty dish in the sink for me to do when I get stuck unloading because no one else will).

And that "you don't have kids" crap is just that...crap! Sounds like you have more than one...your SK and your DH! Kids will mimic what they see their parents do. Thank goodness I've always busted my tail, and have never been afraid of a little work! Both my kids in their respective jobs are the boss' favorite because they will bust their butts and do the work...at the hotel my daughter works, her floors are the only ones that don't get complaints about not being clean enough, and my son is currently working a seasonal employee, but his boss has already told him that when the season is over, he will be converted to full time, because he doesn't want to lose him and his work ethic. When I see some of these teens, it's no wonder that I get crappy service when I go out to eat, etc. The way they act at home and what not...they will have the same attitude on a job. And my SD thinks she wants to be a teacher? She better change her ways really quick, because being a teacher involves a lot of work...especially work outside of the 8-5.

OMG CantKeepDoingThis this is exactly the same in my house

I know what you are feeling. My FSS13 is lazy AF. He never washes his after the restroom, never showers even after pissing his bed, wears the same dirty clothes. He lies all the time, and acts like he doesn't know what to do when he has to wash his own dishes he used. His BM never makes him accountable for anything, but neither does DH. Every time he comes for the weekend it starts all over again. I get really disgusted because DH never makes sure he is in check but is quick to point out anything my BKids do.

So, if letting him whine, cry, play video games, text, play on the computer and listen to music isn't working to correct his behavior maybe it is time to end those activities until he gains clarity on compliance with household behavioral standards?

Give it a try... it works.

Shut down all electronics, he pics up his candy wrapers or he stands in a corner with  his  nose in contact with both intersecting walls... and he stays there until YOU get tired.  He learns to STFU and behave or he lives a life of abject misery. 

Deliver on that misery.   He will adjust.  Or he will suffer. His choice.